Inner Glow
by Danielle Anderson
Summary: Two years ago, L left Raito without a word. Now's he back. What does he want? AU LxRaito. Warning: Genderswitch. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own _Death Note_.

Nano word count: 3407

"Whatever happened to our inner glow?"

Blue October, "Inner Glow"

The first thing that Raito would wake up to every time she opened her eyes in the morning was an overwhelming sense of despair.

It was not a pleasant feeling but she tried to abide by it, tried not to complain and focus on the good things in her life. Like a roof over her head, a loving family, enough to eat and the privilege of getting a college education. She found it easy enough to plaster a smile on her face to show the outside world and hide her inner despair, especially when it was none of the world's business to know what she was going through and no matter how much they asked her with great concern - "Raito-kun, is something wrong? You don't look very well" - she would still force the corners of her mouth to curl upwards and reply with perfect honesty that yes, she was fine, it was only the pressure of school, but she could deal with that because she was, after all, one of Japan's finest students.

"Yagami-kun, are you still with us?"

She looked up to find her economics professor resting concerned eyes on her, saw herself reflected in his crescent spectacles. And she forced herself to smile.

(It was so easy to put up this facade, so easy that she'd forgotten herself when she was telling the truth and when she was lying.)

"Yes, Professor, I'm fine," she lied easily. "It's just that I haven't been getting enough rest as of late." She hardly heard him as he expressed his concerns at how she ought to take better care of her health for the upcoming finals because they were all counting on her to shine and make them look good.

She couldn't say that she cared any longer about her grades or her career but right now, they were all she had left and it might be a good idea to concentrate on them instead of things that had slipped out of her fingers like sand.

The professor dismissed the class about fifteen minutes early. It was the last class before the one-week study leave for the final exams and though the last class was the most important class and she should've paid more attention, her mind had kept drifting in and out like a kite in the sky in the hands of a child.

_But on that day, exactly two years ago..._

She tried not to think of another child who had last handled the kite of her heart and torn it to pieces like something trivial.

A boy smiled at her on her way out, as she sifted through the crowd of students rushing to get out of the classroom. At another time she would've smiled at him but today, she simply nodded and went her way, carrying her heavy stack of books under her arm.

The air was fresh as always outside. It eased to her heart to see the trees swaying in the gentle breeze and students planning to gather up for study sessions. However the small smile that had desperately fought its way to her face faded away when she saw the young couples link their arms together and walk off.

_It is not wise to be jealous of other people's happiness._

"Raito! Raito!"

Raito turned around to find Misa hurrying towards her, stiletto heels clicking on the brick footpath. The other woman was cheerfully waving her arm in the air with a huge grin, and it made to her smile to find that no matter how dire a situation was, she would always be optimistic.

Of course Raito used to be optimistic, too, but all that came to an end the day _he_ took off.

"Misa." This time, it was a genuine smile. To Raito's surprise, Misa hugged her, as she was always prone to doing, and she hugged her back. "It's good to see you."

"Don't act so surprised," Misa chided her gently. Even with her heels, she was shorter than Raito, something the brown-haired woman always found amusing. "We decided to meet here at four-thirty, remember?"

"Right," Raito smiled. She looked around. "Where's Teru?"

"He had to cancel on us. Said he had work."

"And your photo shoot?"

"I'm already done with that. It ended an hour ago, I was just waiting for you."

"Right. You want to go hang out in my place then?"

Misa tilted her head, blue eyes serious. "You sure that's a good idea?" she asked. "I mean, I wouldn't want to impose..."

"No, that's totally fine." Raito shook her head. "My mom's going to be happy to see you. And so is Sayu."

Of course, she wasn't in any hurry to hang out with her best friend at home but at least they'd have more privacy than they would in any coffee shop or bakery where _they_ used to go. Yes, her room was the best place to be in because _he'd_ never really been there.

As they entered the house, Raito knew that she would be greeted by the sight of her mother either cleaning the house or doing the laundry, wiping her hands on her white apron, and she would feel guilty about how old her mother looked and that she really ought to help out more with the housework.

"Raito!" her mother looked surprised. "You're early."

"Class ended early," the young woman explained. "It's the last day of the semester."

Misa smiled. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Yagami."

Mrs. Yagami returned the greeting, ever so happy to see the upcoming model. Sayu was up taking a nap but would she be surprised to see Misa-Misa again in their humble home.

"Let's go up," Raito said to Misa. "Mom, some tea please."

"Of course," said Mrs. Yagami and Raito felt guilty again for making her mother do all the work.

_I don't deserve someone like you._

Misa had brought the latest issue of _Eighteen _with her, a most considerate gift for Sayu, and Raito kept it with a little smirk that everyone around her seemed to be having a better time that she was.

Then again, they hadn't made the mistakes she had, so it was all justified in the end.

"So last day of class huh?" said Misa as they walked up the stairs.

"Yup," said Raito.

"Any idea what you're going to do for the summer?"

Raito was amused. "It's a little too early to think of that, don't you think?"

"Well, you always plan ahead," replied Misa with a roll of her eyes. "So I thought I'd ask."

Raito held the door open, letting Misa enter her room first. "Well, I thought I might be a research assistant for my Women and Gender studies instructor. She's writing a paper on third world feminist issues, so I thought I might help out with that."

The blonde model made a face at that piece of information. "Anything fun?"

"Research is fun," Raito insisted, half-joking.

"Whatever. If you're interested in something more fun, you can always come along to Mount Fuji with me and Teru." Misa's eyes twinkled with mirth.

Raito wasn't interested. "I've no wish to be the third wheel," she said with a tilt of her chin.

"Oh, come on, you won't be the third wheel!" Misa protested. "You're friends with both Teru and me! We'd be very happy to have you with us."

"I'll think about it," said Raito offhandedly with no intention of doing so.

"If you say so."

They spent their time doing the most interesting things. While Raito sat at her desk and worked on her Japanese literature studies, Misa sat on the bed with her legs crossed, flipping through the various channel, occasionally stopping to watch a fashion show or two. In the middle, Mrs. Yagami came with some tea and snacks, interrupting their silence.

"Having fun?" Raito glanced over her shoulder to find Misa swinging her leg idly over the mattress.

"Not really." Misa pouted. "It's kinda boring to hang out with you if all you're going to do is your stupid boring homework."

This time, Raito smiled genuinely. "I promise I'll hang out with you more once I'm done with my finals," she assured the other woman smoothly.

Misa's face lit up with this promise. "Really?"

"Really."

It amazed Raito how little it took to make Misa happy. Though the two did not have much in common, she had to admit that that was one of the things that she really admired about the model. Misa was cute and famous but she wasn't at all snobby about and she did care about her fans.

Misa stayed for about two more hours, until seven, before her cell phone started beeping. She brought it out. "Oh, it's Teru," she said when Raito looked up. "He wants to meet up for dinner." She got to her feet, gathering her purse. "See you later, Raito. And don't be sad, okay?"

_Easier said than done._ "Okay," said Raito as Misa left the room. She noted dimly that Sayu would be sad at not having been able to see her, but a loud squeal from outside let her know that they had run into each other.

Keeping her mind off the very thing that was making her sad had become a little harder once Misa was gone. For one, the television had been turned off and the only sound Raito could hear was that of silence and the rough scratch of her pen on her notebook, working out complex equations, occasionally doodling some haiku. She stopped the haiku when she realized that they were coming out depressing.

She should not be spending today like _this_.

With a sigh, she turned around for the remote control, hoping that the blur of the television would drown her brooding thoughts. She had to focus on the things that really mattered, that were important for her future. Like her education and the research assistantship she wished to take up

_But there was still...an unfinished business that kept plaguing her every day since then..._

She was about to go back to her studies, having kept the news on when suddenly, she started listening about an interesting murder case in England. She frowned and kept her eyes on the screen, watching diligently.

"Last night, in the city of Winchester at England, two bodies were found in the dumpster," said the anchorman. "The details of the deaths are yet to be released and though the police have not spoken much about it, they are ruling it as homicide."

She turned off the news. She didn't want to be more depressed than she already was. Or think of England, for that matter.

Dinner was late at night. Eleven PM to be exact. Her father came home at that time as usual and like the dutiful daughter, she went down to greet him, standing near the staircase and saying gently, "Welcome home, Father."

Mr. Yagami was sitting at the foot of the stairs, something odd for a man of his age and stature, taking off his shoes. He nodded at his daughter. "Yes," he said, "it's good to be home."

Her mother had cooked steamed rice and grilled salmon and chicken and a nice vegetable dish, and they all sat at the table and ate quietly like the perfect family. She wasn't very hungry but nevertheless, she sat beside Sayu and fiddled with her chopsticks, pushing her rice here and there in the white ceramic bowl, absently noting the flowery pattern on the side.

"Is something wrong, Ane?" Sayu asked her, breaking into her thoughts. "You don't seem to have an appetite."

"Hmm?" Raito looked at her. Sayu's big brown eyes stared back at her.

"I even cooked your favorite salmon," Mrs. Yagami said with a kind concerned smile.

It took a minute for Raito to realize that everyone at the table had stopped eating, looking at her expectantly. Inwardly, she cringed. Outwardly, she forced out a smile.

(_It shouldn't have to be like this_, she told herself. She shouldn't have to keep up a false smile for the world to see while she suffered inside.)

"I'm sorry," she said in a voice that would not worry others. "I guess I'm pretty tired from all the studying."

"You should go to bed early, Raito," said Mr. Yagami wisely, eyebrows pursing in a frown with fatherly concern, "if it's exam week, you'll need your rest."

"Yeah, I want to sleep after dinner," she said, slamming the door on the creeping guilt in her heart. "I'm trying to wake up early. Mom, could you call me at six?"

"At six?" her mother was surprised. "Isn't that too early."

Raito explained that she would need all the time she could get to study. It was better than being trapped in dreamland anyway. Especially when she kept dreaming of things that she would rather block out. It was amazing how, in the recent years, she had come to feel more relaxed when she was awake than when she was asleep. Sleep made her feel helpless with no control over her thoughts and memories. And Raito was a woman who did not like loss of control.

"So what's the special occasion?" she asked half-jokingly to lighten the mood, popping a piece of grilled chicken in her mouth. Just to show that she did have some appetite.

Mrs. Yagami blinked. "Special occasion?" she echoed in confusion.

Raito inwardly rolled her eyes. "You know. You cooked salmon. My favorite," she added with a faint touch of sarcasm.

"Oh," said Mrs. Yagami, as if it had just dawned on her. and Raito rolled her eyes again. Her mother could sure play dumb sometimes. In fact, most of the time, she wasn't sure her mother was playing.

"Well..." Mrs. Yagami paused. Her husband stopped eating again and the couple exchanged a look. Suspicious, Raito looked from her father to her mother. Something was definitely up. Even Sayu had stopped, wondering what was going on.

Mr. Yagami spoke then, clearing his voice. "Uh, Raito," he said, his gruff voice not settling well with Raito. She had the instant nagging feeling that she wasn't going to like what he would say next.

"You're about to graduate soon," he began.

"Two years, Father," she interrupted. _Oh, so that's what he wanted to talk about._

"Yes, well, time flies by quickly and you have to be prepared for the future," Yagami-san said somewhat awkwardly. She narrowed her eyes, but her father continued. "We know you have a very brilliant career ahead of you, being one of the brightest students in Japan. However...you still have to think of other aspects of life."

She was silent, trying to keep her anger caged up like a wild animal as he said the next words:

"You have to think of finding a nice young man and settling down."

She couldn't hear herself breathing over the own thumping of her heart. For the sake of keeping the peace at the dinner table, she took a deep breath and tried to harness the pain and despair. She stabbed at her rice and asked with forced interest, "Do you have anyone in mind?"

"Well," her father sounded uneasy and confident at the same time. "Matsuda is very fond of you."

Raito almost laughed.

Mrs. Yagami kept looking at her daughter as if in fear of her reaction.

Brown eyes hardened beneath a mop of chestnut hair. It was better than tears, which would only serve to make her weak in front of the people who cared about her the most.

"I see," she said, trying to keep her voice normal, like a snake poised for threat if attacked first. "You know I would rather concentrate on my studies and my career first, before I start thinking of settling down."

"Of course," her father agreed. "But I would still like you to take an interest in someone that you might have a future with."

"I'll keep that in mind," she answered, hoping that her reply would close the topic of conversation.

But then Sayu blurted out, "Maybe Ane is interested in someone?"

Raito was startled and she quickly shot a glare at her younger sister.

Yagami-san looked at her. "Are you?" he asked rather seriously.

"No," she said, "absolutely not."

"You sure?" he pressed.

She ignored a comment that her mother made about how down she seemed these days, wondering if she got her heart broken, and she bitterly thought to herself that they would never know how she had gotten her heart broken and dishonored them in the process.

She breathed a prayer of thanks when dinner was over and the rest of her family thought it was time to go to bed. But then, Sayu wanted to stay up and watch television (Ryuuga Hideki had an exclusive interview just five minutes before midnight) and since the next day was Saturday, Mr. and Mrs. Yagami thought that it wouldn't hurt to let her sleep late on a Friday night.

"Hey, Ane, do you wanna watch with me?" Sayu asked, getting her chips and orange soda ready, settling down among the cushions on the floor and flipping mindlessly through channels.

Reminded of Misa, Raito's lips curled with slight disapproval. (They'd just had dinner!) "No, thanks," she shook her head. "I'm just going to check my mail and go to bed."

"Oh, you're so boring!"

"Thanks. See you tomorrow."

"Later."

She went back to her room and locked the door. After changing into her pajamas, she turned on her computer to check her mail. She waited patiently for the page to load (the Internet was being slow) and then typed in her user name and password, and was then directed to her inbox. She wasn't expecting any important e-mail. Perhaps the only reason she was checking her inbox was to find an excuse to distract herself. The Internet was useful for this purpose but sometimes she would catch herself comparing one web of information to another, one in an extraordinary human mind, and that comparison was most undesirable.

What she saw in her inbox made her jaw drop on the floor. With a loud clang.

Brown eyes blinked several times as if to clear her vision, to ensure that she really was seeing _that name_ and _he_ really _had_ sent her an e-mail.

Heart racing, mouth dry, her trembling hands moved over the keyboard and clicked on the mouse, waiting for the message to load.

_Two years..._

Was he writing to make a mockery of her? And on this day, of all days?

Her eyes moved fluidly over what was written in the e-mail.

_Yagami-kun,_

_I hope you're doing well. It's been quite a while since we've spoken. I'll be coming to Tokyo quite soon and I think it's very urgent for us to meet. We have some important matters to discuss._

_- L_

She read it several times before it sank in. Her mind had already gone numb from shock and weariness. Shock that he had actually decided to contact her after all these years (only two, but a hyperbole comforted her), and even now, after _everything_, he remained cool and composed, distant as ever, obvious from this personal e-mail.

As if, as if...

_As if all of it had been a lie,_ said her treacherous mind, and she berated it for poking memories at her like needles. Poisonous needles, sharp tips, could draw blood in a heartbeat, like thorn on a rose stalk.

Quietly, Raito got up and turned off the computer, her face expressionless as a white linen sheet. She moved slowly to her wardrobe, opening the drawer and taking out her jewelry box. It was small, black and elegant, a gift from her father on her seventeenth birthday. Her mother would often ask why she didn't see the jewelry box on the dressing table. Raito would answer that she preferred to keep precious things...precious.

And thank God her mother didn't understand what that meant.

She opened the box. It was like a compact powder in her palm; she reached in and fished out a gold ring. She took a deep breath and held it up in the light from the window, her brown eyes shining with sadness.

It shone.

The ring shone.

And gritting her teeth, she threw it back into the box and clammed it shut.

**A/N:** Hmm, whyever is L coming to see her? This is the first DN fic I've started in two months, and it's also my Nano project, so any cheering on would be dearly appreciated :). Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Nano word count: 3836  
Total word count: 7293

"I can't do this all on my own, no, no,  
I'm no superman."  
Laslo Bane, "I'm no superman"

For the next couple of days, Raito alternated between suppressed rage and utter despair. The news of L's imminent arrival in Japan buzzed in her head like an annoying bee. She tried her best to revise for the upcoming exams, reciting various mathematical formulas and definitions of literary terms in her mind because her whole life depended on her university results, and not on some mistake she had made at the age of eighteen.

(Then again, _that_, too, had been a question of her whole life, a question of her future happiness and she realized now with much regret that she shouldn't have treated the whole affair so lightly.)

She spent her time crammed up in her room, hardly talking to anyone, giving the convenient half-true excuse that she was studying hard and that no one should bother her. Sometimes she went to the library to escape the stifling of her room. Her family bought the excuse since it wasn't the first time she preferred to be in her own company.

She was afraid to actually open her computer these days, even though she needed to do some browsing for her research; she was afraid of what further message he might send her to disturb the peace that she'd worked so hard on achieving. (And she did not need this bullshit now.) However, on the times that she did turn on her PC, she would always be tempted to open her inbox and re-read his e-mail, even though she already knew it by heart by this time.

_Yagami-kun,  
I hope you're doing well. It's been quite a while since we've spoken. I'll be coming to Tokyo quite soon and I think it's very urgent for us to meet. We have some important matters to discuss.  
- L_

_Talk_, she sneered to herself. _Urgent_. _Discuss_. How like him to treat the most important things so trivially as if they were some sorts of joke. And it was so like that bastard to be this impersonal, as if they had never been…as if they had never been…

And for this to come up just before her exams. It was just not fair.

She considered deleting it. If it had been a letter, she would've torn it up with fury. But, thinking that she might need it as proof later on (since L was so sleazy), she made up her mind to keep it.

Raito squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to cry. That son of a bitch was most definitely not worth her tears and she'd wasted enough time crying about him as it was. When she was tired of studying (she kept trying her best to focus but it was tough not to let her mind wander off from time to time), she would sit on the floor, against the wardrobe, feet planted flat on the ground, and she would turn the gold ring over and over in her hand, a flood of emotion racing through her veins like wild fire. Her hand would clench and unclench about the ring as if she were unsure of what she wished to do with this. One day, her jaw tightened like a bow with anger and she flung the ring hard against the wall in a desire to see it break into a thousand shards, like a crystal jar. Sadly, it was no crystal jar, just a gold ring, and so it did not break; rather, when she went to pick it up a few minutes later, she noticed that there was just a dent and a couple of scratches on the shiny surface, and that only served to make her angrier.

Sometimes…what upset her even more was that she had to keep this bottled up. Raito was not the kind of person to tell others about her most personal feelings – her pride did not allow this – but this…she thought that she would feel better and stronger if she could just open up to someone.

So, two days before her exams, when her mother and sister were away shopping and her father was at work, Raito called Misa, who was the only one who knew about her predicament.

"Could you come over?" she asked.

And when Raito called, Misa came running.

"Raito. Is anything wrong?" Misa's blue eyes were already brimming with concern as she came inside and took off her shoes.

"Uh…" Raito was suddenly at a loss for words. She didn't know what she wanted to say, even though she'd called over the model to pour out her heart. For two years, she'd carried this terrible burden with her, and Misa was the only one who knew. And therefore, she believed that Misa also deserved to be updated with the latest information.

She hid an acrimonious smile then at how L-like she sounded.

She motioned her friend to the kitchen. Misa followed her like a wide-eyed puppy. The gentle afternoon sunlight poured in above the sinking, diffusing throughout the room. Finally, Raito took a deep breath and said, "He e-mailed me the other night."

"He?" Misa echoed. "You mean – "

Raito nodded before the other could finish the sentence.

Misa was silent with astonishment for a few minutes. "Wow," she breathed finally. "What – what did he say?"

Raito recited the e-mail like a litany. Misa listened.

"Woah," she said again when the younger woman was done. "So he's actually coming back?"

"Yeah," Raito leaned against the kitchen sink. "He's coming back. After all these years. After all these damn years."

Misa paused for a moment before she asked, "Do you think he wants to talk about a divorce?"

Raito's eyes met Misa's at the word 'divorce.' It started her. "I hope so," she said quietly.

For the next few minutes, neither of them spoke a word as if they were in mourning for the impending doom of a certain relationship. Raito was lost in her thoughts and Misa finally broke the silence with a change of subject: "Where's your mom and Sayu?"

"Shopping," Raito replied absently.

"Okay," nodded Misa, and then tentatively, "How're you feeling about this, Raito?"

The question made Raito think. She was going though such a myriad of emotions that she didn't know exactly how she felt.

"I'm not sure," she muttered, eyes glazed. "I'm not sure."

Misa patted her on the shoulder. And then she raised sharp brown eyes, filled with ire. "All I can say for sure is that I hate him," she said with restrained venom. "I tried so many times to reach him for two years and just when my life is going fine, he decides to show up again and ruin everything."

The blonde looked mildly alarmed at this sudden outburst.

"You know," Raito went out angrily, "I'm not even sure _why_ I married him. I mean, he doesn't look good! He talks like a robot, he sits funny, he has no sense of social etiquette. He eats like a pig, he lives only on a steady diet of sugar and arrogance and he doesn't give a damn about how other people feel."

"Oh, Raito," Misa said softly, trying to comfort her. "You don't care about those things. You never did."

Raito sighed in defeat and closed her eyes, her chin pressing against her throat. "Maybe I should have," she murmured. "I shouldn't have acted so rashly." She sighed again and looked up at the ceiling as if all the answers were written there. "It's not like me to do things without thinking them over."

"You were just eighteen, Raito," Misa tried to soothe her. "And you were in love. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"That's no excuse," said Raito bitterly, remembering her own rashness. She was usually so level-headed, so logical, what had made her take that decision? "I should've looked before I leaped."

Misa said nothing for a moment. "Raito," she patted the younger woman on the shoulder. "You have to move on."

"I want to move on. I wish it was easier said than done." Raito heaved a sigh and shook her head in defeat, hair falling over her eyes. "I...I didn't expect him to show up now...like this."

"Well, then," Misa chirped optimistically. "Maybe it's a good thing he's coming back then. You need to make it official so that both of you can move on."

Raito snorted. "I hardly think he's had any problems doing that," she rolled her eyes. "I have no idea what I'm going to tell my parents."

"You don't have to tell them," reasoned Misa.

Raito nodded, agreeing. She had a point. "You're right. Maybe he'll just call me when he comes and we'll just go to court and sign the papers. No strings, no hassle and nobody has to know. And it'll be good riddance. No one needs a husband like that!"

"Soon to be ex-husband," Misa supplied helpfully. But Raito still couldn't help feeling butterflies in her stomach.

"Did he say when he was coming?" asked Misa.

Raito smirked darkly. "No. He was as vague as usual. Just said he'd come soon. Soon could mean right now or three months later."

"Oh." Misa sounded disapproving.

_Yeah, well_, Raito thought, _that's Ryuuzaki for you_.

"You know, sometimes," she started thoughtfully, "it's hard to believe...that...it ever happened." Misa nodded understandingly, and she went on. "Sometimes, it feels like a lifetime ago that I knew him. He's just a stranger now."

_He's always been a stranger,_ a nagging voice told her._That's why you shouldn't have married him so impulsively_.

"I don't want you to keep beating yourself up about it," said Misa. "I want you to let it go."

"Yeah," Raito agreed. "Yeah." And with more confidence, "I want a divorce."

Misa poured out her some orange juice as if they were in the model's house and not the other way round. If Raito wasn't so distraught, she would've felt embarrassed.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"No problem. You can make it up to me later by going to the mall with me." She then added as an afterthought, "I mean, when you're done with your finals, of course."

Raito stared at her for a minute, and then rolled her eyes with a smile. Trust Misa to do something with the ulterior motive of spending more time with her.

She felt more confident listening to her friend's voice that she should stop thinking about Ryuuzaki because she definitely deserved better (but not Matsuda) and he could go to hell for all they cared.

That made Raito laugh. Well, her life had been hell for a long time and she didn't think he had suffered but she'd like it if he had. Or would.

The sudden ringing of the door bell roused her from their conversation. "Hold on, it's probably Mom and Sayu." She went to see who it was after she'd made sure that she looked presentable (she didn't want to put up with her mother continuously wondering if she was all right), took a deep breath and opened the door -

- to find L standing outside.

Raito's heart almost stopped beating. It felt like stone in her breast. She stared at him in open-mouthed shock. He stared back, eyes wide and large, face expressionless, clueless as if he had no idea what was going on, like he was a lost dog in the neighborhood.

For a long moment, the whole world was simply a distant, dim roar in her ears and she just stood there like a cold marble statue – they were like two statues looking at each other as if they were in a staring contest – and she had no idea what to do.

Finally, she did the one thing she had longed to do for the past two years.

She raised her hand and slapped him hard across the face.

Unable to say anything, L simply stared at her with those big black eyes of his, and she stared right back challengingly, perhaps daring him to hit her back.

And knowing L, he probably would.

However, the tension in the air was broken when Misa came running to the door. "Raito, who is it?" she stopped like a deer frozen in its tracks when she spotted L. "Oh…"

Raito couldn't stop herself from smirking. _My thoughts exactly_.

"Is this – " began Misa, to which Raito simply nodded. Misa nodded, too.

"Right," she said. "Well…I guess I better be going then." She grabbed her purse and slowly eased her way past L, avoiding contact with him like the plague. He noticed her but didn't seem too interested. Once Misa was out of sight, they turned back to each other.

L broke the taut silence. "That's quite a hello," he spoke.

Then Raito grudgingly stepped aside. L took the hint and came in, his sneakers making a soft treading noise on the ground and for an instant, she was lost in her memories because she knew that he'd always hated shoes, and if he took off those sneakers, then he'd be barefoot, too, as he hated socks.

She looked up to meet his coal gaze at the sound of his deep, baritone voice, and then she caught sight of the red, angry print of her hand on one pale smooth cheek. "You deserved better," she said sarcastically.

He regarded her with a cool smirk. "Feisty as ever, Yagami-kun." He looked around the room, taking in his surroundings. She could see him analyzing every single detail of the place to get a feel of it and make himself comfortable.

She decided to get straight to the point. "Why are you here?" she demanded, folding her arms.

He was unfazed. "Are you shocked?" he wondered. "I already sent you an e-mail to inform you that I'd be coming to Japan soon."

"You said _soon_," she retorted impatiently. "You didn't say _when_."

"I thought it would be a pleasant surprise. Aren't you happy to see me?" There was a dark humor in his voice, which made her feel that he was mocking her.

Raito narrowed her eyes. "This is one surprise I honestly don't care for," she answered.

L tilted her head, eyeing her as if in wonder. "That's too bad," he mock-lamented. "You always did look forward to seeing me."

Her hand curled into a fist in an attempt to control herself from slapping him again. (Though that would not be a bad idea; she did think that the mark on his face ought to be redder.) "Cut the crap, Ryuuzaki," she berated angrily. "I meant, what the hell are you doing _here_The question startled her. "W-why?" she narrowed her eyes. "What do you want with them?"

"I was just asking," he responded casually. "Though, if I'm not mistaken, your parents and your sister will be here in a little over three minutes."

Her parents and her sister? "My father's still at work," she pointed out irritably.

"He was but I believe that your mother and sister are coming home with him."

Raito was disconcerted by this piece of information. She could accuse of him of bluffing, making all this up just to put her at unease but it wouldn't be wise to take the risk. "I want you out of the house, Ryuuzaki," she said firmly, standing her ground.

"Ah, no," he refused in her face, his eyes boring into hers. "I'd like to talk to them."

She felt trapped like a child who hadn't done their homework and was about to be scolded by her teacher in front of her parents. "Ryuuzaki," she said, "if my parents are on their way, then you need to go _now_."

"No," he said again like a stubborn little boy.

She felt her blood boil but she knew that if she wanted to get her way, she had to remain calm. "Ryuuzaki," she said again, trying to reason with him. "I haven't told my parents yet and when I do, I'd rather you not be here."

"On the contrary, Raito-kun, I think it would be very beneficial for you if I stayed here with you as you told your parents," came the reply.

This rendered her speechless, as though her tongue had been torn out. She stared at him in disbelief, wondering desperately what plan he might have tucked in his loose white sleeves when, at that moment, the door bell rang.

She glanced at the door. And then back at L. "Hide," she said, finally resorting to pleading.

He looked at her and said simply, "I'm your husband," as if that were the answer to everything.

Seeing no way out, Raito gave in and went to open the door. She could already hear the excited voices of her mother and Sayu and her heart sank a bit when she mentally prepared herself for what was about to happen.

Her sister was carrying several shopping bags and laughing at a comment their mother had made, while their father looked grave and sadly interested in their chatter. As they came in, her mouth ran dry, wondering what she could do, how she could explain the presence of this odd, creepy man – her husband, especially to her father, who had no idea that his daughter had secretly married the best detective in the world.

Raito shut the door and waited for the impending doom, her heart racing.

Her father was shocked upon seeing L. L, on the other hand, didn't seem to really care.

"L," Yagami-san breathed. "What are you doing here?" He had known L from two years ago when the younger man had come to Japan to solve a case, thus meeting Raito. Raito had helped them to solve the mystery and she still had hopes to join the NPA after graduating. Mr. Yagami could honestly say that he had not counted on meeting the detective again, and so unexpectedly.

Raito opened her mouth to answer in order to save herself but L got there first.

"Your daughter has been incessantly trying to divorce me for the last two years," he informed them with a straight face, like he was telling them about the stock exchange rate. "I'd be most happy to give her what she wants if you'd all listen to what I have to say."

It was like having a band-aid ripped off. And trust L to put the most sensitive, personal matters out there for everyone to see in a most blunt fashion.

The whole family was silent, so silent that Raito could actually hear the sound of her own breathing and L scratching one foot with the other. After a long ominous minute, Sayu squeaked a little "Ane?" Mrs. Yagami looked more confounded than ever and Mr. Yagami turned a stern, questioning gaze on his elder daughter.

"Raito, what is the meaning of this?"

Raito looked at L. He seemed like he was having a picnic. She understood what he meant by wanting to there when she told her parents.

He actually wanted to make her miserable and see her humiliated, even though she'd done nothing to him.

(But he wouldn't see it that way, selfish bastard.)

"Uh," she desperately searched her mind for something to say and she glanced at L, hoping that he'd come to her rescue.

He did nothing. Just as she'd expected. He'd turned her down when she most needed him.

Anxious and defeated, she faced her parents. "I think you need to sit down for what I'm about to say."

Mr. and Mrs. Yagami exchanged a look before they turned to Raito. "What's he talking about?" Mrs. Yagami asked.

For the first time, Raito felt scared and guilty about how her mother didn't understand what was going on, and she was even more afraid of how they'd react. Her father had a weak heart and working late nights didn't help their cause much either. She was really scared for what would happen after she told them everything. What would they do? How would her father handle this with his heart condition and high blood pressure?

_You should have thought of all this before you married L._

Truer thoughts could not have been spoken.

After Sayu had put away all the shopping bags, they went to the living-room. Raito felt numb. Her worst nightmare was fast coming true and there was nothing she could do to turn back the clock. She briefly thought of sending Sayu away, giving the excuse that this was a matter for adults, and she felt even worse because of the example she'd set for her younger sister, who looked up to her. She noticed the way her family had huddled up on one couch like a human chain preparing themselves for bad news – and what she was about to tell them was bad news – and she found herself wishing that she were done.

Her treacherous husband had comfortably seated himself on another couch, looking very entertained. She clenched her teeth and then took a deep breath, preparing herself.

"You remember when we worked on that serial murder case two years ago, Dad?" she said.

Her father nodded gravely. He already had an inkling of what had happened.

"Well," she said slowly. "L and I...became very..." she searched for the right word but it was downright embarrassing to use expressions like "intimate" (and that was inaccurate, too, since they'd never gone all the way) or "in love" because her father, despite all his talks of marriage, still thought she was too young to feel these things. She finally settled for "close". "L and I became very close. We decided...to get married."

**A/N:** My thanks to everyone for their support :). Usually I prefer girl!L, but after the dubs...I like girl!Raito, too ;). And I agree that Raito's a little OOC but I hope this chapter explains why. Let's see how her parents react and the proposition L has to make ;).?


	3. Chapter 3

Nano word count: 4286  
Total word count: 11543

"It's all over, just like that  
Fire comes and you can't strike back"  
Sean Hayes, "3 AM" 

All went as quiet as the grave. Raito held her breath and waited for her family's reaction. Finally, Mr. Yagami's eyes, as wide as saucers, fixed on her. "Raito," he sputtered incredulously. "You…_eloped_?"

Raito had taken a seat beside L, seeing how there was no space left in the room. She kept her hands folded on her lap, rigid, looking down in shame, trying to still the panic in her heart, hoping desperately that her father would not have a heart attack because then, she would never be able to forgive herself. L didn't say anything, waiting for the following events to unfold like a curious spectator.

This was not the way she had wanted to break the news to her family. Granted, at the time she'd married L, she hadn't thought much ahead – her mistake, really – but she'd always imagined that they'd tell people when the time was right, sitting in the living-room, holding hands; and her family would be surprised, but happy and accepting. She really wished that things hadn't turned out like _this_.

"Yes, Dad," she sighed, resigned. "I…eloped." She'd never felt so ashamed in her life and she couldn't bring herself to look her family in the eye for fear of seeing their pain at how greatly she had betrayed them.

The silence was as heavy as a cloak; she felt like pleading them to say something. And L being passive wasn't making things better at all.

"You…eloped," her father sounded dazed. "When?"

"It was two years ago," she answered quietly. "Just before I got into college."

Her father nodded gravely, taking in this piece of information. "I see," he sounded distant, in denial, unable to really believe what he was hearing.

Raito looked up tentatively at her mother, who seemed absolutely shocked, just like Sayu. They gazed at her mutely, questioningly, giving her the hint that she should elaborate more. Outside, the neighbors were merrily singing a popular Japanese love song, creating a comical atmosphere in the house. It made her wish that the floor would swallow her up and take L with it. Maybe it should take L first and leave her be with her life.

She tried to frame the words in her head. Just tell them what they need to know, leaving out all the personal details that she didn't want to think of, even to herself.

"Shortly after L and I married," she started, "we had a…huge disagreement and he left. It was then that I realized our marriage wouldn't work." Upon seeing how much more agitated her parents were becoming, she emphasized desperately, "But I want a divorce now. And that's why he's here."

Mr. Yagami's face had gone pale, the blood draining away from it. He looked so lost and confused and it made Raito feel worse. If she could turn back time, she would never have married L, never have put herself and her family through such agony.

"I tried to reach him many times," she continued. "But he never replied. And," she took a deep breath, "now that he's here, we hope that we can put an end to this marriage."

Just then, L spoke up. "That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

She whipped her head, looking at him disbelievingly. What was he saying?

"It's true that Raito-kun and I were married in secret, and are still legally husband and wife," he addressed her family as impersonally and business-like as he would address the Interpol or ICPO. "Though, in the light of things not working out, I agree that our marriage needs to be dissolved. However, there is something I require of her, of you all, actually, before that can be achieved."

Raito glared at him through narrowed eyes. Panic began to fill her up like water in a bucket. What was the hell was he getting at?

L went on calmly, "As Yagami-san is aware, I worked with the Japanese NPA two years earlier to solve a infamous serial murder case and thus, I became acquainted with Raito-kun. Her intelligence, her powers of deduction helped us solve the case in simply three months, eventually leading to our contract."

Raito couldn't help wincing at how uncongenial it was to refer to marriage as a contract. It hurt her.

"After our fight, I returned to England and I did not keep in touch with her. However, I find that once again, I need her help to solve a puzzling mystery, another unforgivable act of murder that is taking place in Winchester. Please keep in mind that what I am telling you is extremely confidential and hence, you should not speak to anyone else about this.

"I understand that Raito's finals begin in only two days. After that, I am interested to take her to England with me so that we can work together and find out who is behind these murders. And then, I'd be most happy to give her what she wants." He sounded slightly bitter at that point.

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. "_What_?"

"I will give Raito-kun the divorce that she desires," the detective summarized placidly, "if she helps me with this case."

"What?" she exclaimed furiously. "You want me to do what?"

L seemed bored. "I know you all heard me perfectly the first two times and I dislike repeating myself."

She turned to her father, looking for any kind of support. And even though he appeared to be more shocked by L's proposition, he maintained an air of composure and replied, "We'll think about. Right now, I'd prefer my daughter to concentrate on her studies."

"Certainly," L conceded with a small nod. "Though, if you think about it another way, the experience she will gather by working with me in a second case will be quite valuable since she is determined to reach a high-ranking position in the NPA." He glanced condescendingly at Raito, who was struggling to keep her temper. She'd never imagined that her husband and her father would be getting along well…in the worst way possible.

"Yes, I see," Mr. Yagami replied civilly. He didn't speak for a long moment until Mrs. Yagami hesitantly broke the silence like brittle glass with the most innocent, in-character question:

"Would you like some tea?"

L looked at her. "Yes," he answered. "That would be very nice."

Raito's hands balled into fists in her lap.

* * *

Astonishingly enough, the rest of the day passed quite uneventfully. Raito stayed locked in her room. She sat on the edge of her bed, restlessly twisting the fabric of her trousers between her fingers until she noticed a slight rip in the material and made herself stop. She opened her door a crack to peek outside and strain to hear something. From her parents' room came only low mumblings and she wanted to burst into tears when it sounded as though her father was crying and her mother was trying to comfort him. She honestly hadn't meant for things to come about this way but…

_There's no use crying over split milk. I have a former flame to deal with._

Fire hazard was more like it.

L wasn't gone. He was still hanging out in their house like a ghoul, pacing about the living room and sometimes sitting on the carpet and staring at her mother's china. She smirked at that; he'd always had a thing for bright colors.

She came out to watch him from the top of the stairs. He still looked the way he did two years before. Tall, lithe and lanky, his wavy black hair unruffled, expression ever-pensive like he was always pondering over something or the other. And knowing L as well as she did, he probably was.

At the moment, he was resting on the couch with his knees pulled up, carelessly flipping through TV channels, and she recalled one time when he'd told her that he wasn't very fond of watching television.

Well, who knew what else he'd kept hidden from her?

She'd held her breath so as not to make a sound. He turned his head, his soft ebony hair brushing against the pale of his nape, and looked up unflinchingly at her. Perhaps he'd known all along that she'd been watching him. Uneasy, she retreated back into her room and resolved not to come out until dinner time. Hopefully, in a few hours, L would come to the realization that he'd worn out his welcome and leave for his fancy hotel. Not to mention how insupportable his proposition was and simply send her the divorce papers.

(And she was definitely going to make him pay for it. Both emotionally and financially, that was.)

The thought of calling Misa crossed her mind but it would be too soon to that. She needed to wait until she'd finally resolved the problem at hand and sent L away, not minus the much sought-after divorce papers. Her parents she could deal with, despite how terrible it would be and her exams she would manage to ace, but right now, the divorce was the most important, just as important for her future as her finals, and she was determined to have both on her terms.  
Mr. Yagami she didn't see anywhere in sight so she rightly deduced that he was avoiding her just as she was avoiding him. It was interesting how she was suddenly avoiding everyone in the house.

Dinner time. L still hadn't gone home. Her mother had sent a resigned look in her way and started cooking dinner for five. For some reason, Raito felt obligated to inform Mrs. Yagami that L did not eat real food. Mrs. Yagami gave her a weird look, as if to say that that was something only a wife would know. Raito decided at first that L had no right to expect such hospitality in her house. Hence, she set about making coleslaw, particularly because she knew how much he detested vegetables. Any kind of real food. However, Yagami-san soon came to see what was going on and though he did not mention the marriage, he said that Raito should prepare something sweet because that was the kind of food L liked.

"You married him," he said, "now you should act like a proper wife." And then he left.

She flushed and set about making a fruit custard for L, avoiding all conversation with her mother.

She brought out the knife and cutting board, and started slicing cherries, apples and bananas as she heated the custard over the stove. She caught her mother gaping at her like a goldfish.

"What?" she asked uneasily.

Mrs. Yagami said, "You never cook."

She still heard the dim voices of the TV coming from the living room. It made her frown. What the hell was L doing? Why didn't he just leave? He wasn't the one who should be thirsty for revenge, she was!

She could try chasing him away, throwing him out after they'd all eaten but then she recalled that her parents had raised her better, for it was one thing to elope and another thing to kick out one's husband.

But that didn't mean that the bastard had any right to destroy the peace of her home and have her make him a fruit custard. If she was going to act like "a proper wife," then he should also act like a proper husband and that was something Raito was damn sure he was not.

Dinner was another somber affair. There was no small talk at the table and it was so obvious that they were wearing a mask, pretending all was well. Raito was made to sit beside L, who was naturally crouching in his seat and earning shocked looks from his mother-in-law, but she still refused to pay him any attention.

(Go to England with him? Hah! Who the hell did he think he was? He might be the best detective in the world but that didn't give him the right to tell her what to do!)

"Raito-kun," he spoke through a mouthful of bananas (oh, he'd always had the worst table manners!), "would you mind getting me some more sugar?"

She glared at him venomously; he did not seem to care. Her parents paused to look at her expectantly. No one in the Yagami household would be rude to a guest, no matter how unwelcome he was.

Grudgingly, she pushed her chair back, the wood making a harsh scraping sound against the floor, and went to the kitchen to get the jar of sugar. She clearly recalled that she had already put in four teaspoons of sugar and that was really something when one considered how she'd been tempted to put in a load of salt just to spite him. On her way back, sugar jar in tow, she saw Sayu looking curiously at L.

"Dude, what happened to your face?" she wondered aloud, gesturing towards his cheek.

"A very beautiful but angry young woman," L deadpanned, diving into the sugar. Raito took a good look at his face. The redness was still visible, though it had substantially lessened. She hid a smile, feeling a small jolt of victory in her ribs.

"'Hell had no fury like a woman scorned'," he quoted wisely and she rolled her eyes.

"So, L," Mr. Yagami began, spoon clattering against his plate. "How long are you planning to stay?" He'd meant the question to come out more generally but it sounded more like he was wondering if L would spend the night here.

_Out of the question,_ Raito thought stubbornly. There was a limit to everything.

"For a few days." It wasn't clear if L was ignoring the most obvious implication of the inquiry. What did he mean? Would he be staying for a few days in Japan or for a few days in this house?

He elaborated himself. "I intend only to stay until Raito is ready to go to England with me," he stated.

Raito glowered at him, her fork hovering over her meat. "What makes you think that I'm going to go to England with you?" she demanded.

L turned to her but before he could say anything, Mr. Yagami quickly stepped forward to interrupt their loving conversation. "As I said, we'll think about said later," he told Raito more than L, giving her a warning look to let her know that she should not make everything worse by fighting with L since things were bad enough as they were.

"Of course," L agreed, popping more cherries into his mouth. She observed that his mouth had become red. It looked rather...

_No, do not go there._

"I don't mind the wait," continued the raven-haired young man. "I would also like her to be finished the priorities at hand before we move on the next stage."

Raito's eyes widened. Next stage? What did he mean by 'next stage'?

Apparently her father was confused, too, because he gave her a questioning look. But instead of asking further, he dropped the subject.

She was also tempted to ask him about this next stage because if he thought that she was going to give into his stupid whims, then he had another thought coming up to give him a harder slap in the face. Maybe this time, she would use her platform shoes.

"So," said Sayu, in an weird attempt to be friendly with her brother-in-law. All this time, she hadn't even known that she had a brother-in-law. "You're a detective."

"That is so," answered L. There was a slight kindness in his eyes that took Raito aback as he talked to the younger girl.

"Do you work on interesting cases all the time?" Sayu seemed to be in awe. She was familiar enough with law enforcement officers due to her father's profession and her older sister's interests, but this was the first time that she'd met a fancy private detective who did not work for any institution, rather, controlled all the police forces in the world.

"Well," L said carefully, glancing briefly at Raito. "I take on cases that interest me."

"So not only are you a detective," deduced Sayu, deep in thought. "But you do only the fun stuff?"

L smiled a bit right then, amused by the way she'd put it. "Yes, only the 'fun stuff'."

Sayu grinned. "Cool."

Raito shot her a glare, which she didn't notice. And was her husband hitting on her baby _sister_?

_Don't be foolish,_ she reprimanded herself. _If he wasn't interested in you, he definitely wouldn't be interested in Sayu._

"I trust that things have been well for you, L?" Yagami-san changed the subject.

"They have indeed," L assured him. And for some reason, he added, "Your cooking is wonderful, Mrs. Yagami. I don't think I've ever had a tastier fruit custard."

Mrs. Yagami flushed in surprise. "Thank you," she answered, glancing at her elder daughter. "But the fruit custard was made by Raito."

"Oh?" L raised a thin eyebrow, turning that heavy stare on her.

Her eyes became slits. "Don't even think about it," she murmured dangerously.

L smirked at her in dark amusement.

After dinner, she went back to her room. She didn't want to face any of them, especially L, and like a child, she wished that her father would take care of the matter and send him away or something and that she'd never have to see him again as long as she lived. She took out her books to revise for her first exam the day after tomorrow. The revision/distracted worked well for quite some time and she allowed herself to forget all her personal problems, thinking that she would be able to deal with them later.

However, harsh reality literally came knocking on her door. She opened it to find Mrs. Yagami stand outside. L stood behind her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Uh..." Mrs. Yagami tried to think of how to say this without her daughter flying in a temper. "Your...husband will be spending the night here."

"Here?" Raito repeated, surprised. "In my room?"

Mrs. Yagami nodded while L remained there with his hands in his pockets, staring at them both.

"Why doesn't he just go to a hotel?" said Raito. She turned to L. "Don't tell me that you don't have a stupid, fancy hotel room already booked!"

"Raito!" her mother hushed her, shocked by the way she was behaving.

"I'd go to a hotel if you came with me," L responded.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she demanded.

"Now, now, Raito," her mother came in and took her aside, putting her hand on her daughter's arm. "Your father and I are already...very upset by what you've done," she said softly, "but I don't want you to give us a harder time. If he'd like to stay here, you can just go to Sayu's room."

Again, there was that guilt and she felt embarrassed that she'd dishonored her family by eloping with a stranger (actually things wouldn't have been any better if she'd eloped with someone they knew) and it wouldn't be right to cause more trouble. She swallowed and nodded, quickly gathering her books. On her way out, she stopped to glare at L.

"Don't even think of touching my stuff," she threatened.

He stared back at her. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Mrs. Yagami wisely ignored them and promptly set about fixing up the room. Raito sighed and knocked on Sayu's door before going in.

Her younger sister was lying on her bed, reading the latest issue of _Eighteen_, which again reminded Raito that Misa would definitely be dying to hear what had happened.

"Hey," she said, shutting the door. "Can I sleep here?"

Sayu turned her head, brown eyes surprised. "You want to sleep here?" she echoed.

Raito stiffened. "Yeah."

"Why? He's _your_ husband."

Raito didn't know what to say that. "Well, we're getting a divorce so I'm sleeping here," she explained, setting her books on the table. Even if Sayu refused, she would still stay here because she most certainly was not sleeping on the couch.

Sayu nodded understandingly, but she didn't go back to her magazine. Just as Raito was going to go back to studying, she wondered, "How did you two meet?"

Raito froze, take aback by the question. "I told you," she replied with an impatient frown. "On a case."

"Were you in love?" Sayu's question came out so straightforward that Raito almost squirmed in her seat.

"Sayu!" she scowled. "That's none of your business."

Sayu rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever," she snorted. A moment later, she sighed dreamily, "I can't wait to get married! It must be so romantic."

Raito glanced at her with a cynical smile. "Trust me, you're not missing much."

"Hmph, you'd say so," the younger girl said stubbornly. She reached out to turn off the light and faced the other way so that the light from the desk wouldn't disturb here Well, at least now, Raito was at peace to study.

She studied for another two hours until the clock struck midnight and then she was ready to hit the sack. Just as she'd washed up and was about to get into bed, she noticed that Sayu did not have any extra pillows and she was selfishly using both, one under her head, the other tucked in her arms. Raito made a face. She had the option of sleeping without a pillow but she did want to sleep as comfortably as possible. That only meant that she'd have to go to her room to get a pillow from her closet, and that meant that she'd have to face L, something she was totally reluctant to do.

But she was left with no choice.

She tiptoed out of Sayu's room and headed towards her own, knocking softly on the door. She could see light coming out from beneath. What was he doing in there?

"Come in," a baritone voice drifted from inside. Inwardly, she scorned; she did not need _his_ permission to enter _her_ room. She turned the knob and went in.

L was sitting on her bed, hugging his knees to his chest, conveniently resting his iBook on her pillows. She tried not to think of whether he'd washed his feet or not. After he left, she would definitely have her sheets boiled and washed.

Intense black eyes fixed on her, as though wondering what she wanted.

"I'm just here for some stuff," she said coldly. "I'll be out in a jiffy."

"No problem," L answered non-commitally, turning back to his screen and typing something. "Take your time."

She shook her head and opened her closet, rummaging through her things. She had so many clothes there, shoes, sweaters, trousers and skirts, how on earth had her mother managed space to put in extra bedding? She bent down to look into the lower shelf when she noticed from the corner of her eye that there was a thin cable running from behind her PC over to mattress, connecting to his laptop.

She tilted her head back to look at him. "You're using my Internet?"

He glanced at her condescendingly. "You're a smart girl."

She ignored his comment. "I thought I told you not to use my stuff," she accused him.

"I hardly think that you own the Internet," he retorted, bored. "And besides, I wouldn't use such a slow connection to spite you, even if you did."

Her jaw tightened. "Well, I'm sorry not everyone can match your standards and get high-speed wireless Internet," she shot back with venom. "And why are you using my connection anyway? I thought with your power, you could get access even in the Sahara."

"That is true but at the moment, my connection's giving me a bit of problem so I thought I might use yours. I hope it's not too much to ask," he added sarcastically.

"Oh, of course it isn't," she replied with false politeness. "After all, it isn't as important as a divorce."

L sighed right then and said nothing further, but there were answers that she still needed.

"Why are you staying here?"

L pretended to be astonished by her question. "What a thing to ask, Raito-kun," he said. "Is it so wrong for a man to want to sleep in the same house as his wife?"

She felt sick all of a sudden. "Don't give me that crap. You've slept well enough without the two of us being in the same continent, let alone the same house."

(_And you didn't even want to sleep in the same bed with me._)

"True," he responded passively, and was silent again.

She scowled and went back to searching for her pillow. She finally found it tucked at the back of her shelf and she pulled out it with some effort from the quicksand of all her outfits.

She caught L eyeing her with mild amusement.

"What?" she demanded irritably.

"You do have more clothes than you need," he replied, the tone of his voice suggesting something..._suggestive_.

She shook her head again. He was only trying to provoke her and she would not rise to his bait – she would simply ignore him and leave right now before he got a chance to say anything.

"Well, then," she said to him with forced politeness, "good night, Ryuuzaki." She'd opened the door and was about to leave when he said quietly, "Sleep well, Raito-kun."

She growled and slammed the door behind her.

A/N: My thanks to all those who reviewed and encouraged me :). L is being a bastard to Raito and she doesn't deserve it at all, but he does have some ulterior motives because after all, he's L ;). Feedback is deeply appreciated. 


	4. Chapter 4

Nano word count: 4517  
Total word count: 16046

"It's hard to argue when you won't stop making sense"  
Snow Patrol, "Hands Open"

L was not a bad houseguest. For most, he stayed out of people's way. He barely came out of Raito's room, having settled in there like a quail lays eggs in a crow's nest. It annoyed her to no end, especially when she had all her things in there and she would have to go there every time she needed a change of clothes, or to check her mail. She and L would fight over the internet connection.

"Ryuuzaki," she stood at the foot of the bed, arms akimbo, watching him work on his laptop.

"Yes, Raito-kun?" he asked disinterestedly, wide eyes fixed on the screen, stick-like fingers moving over the keyboard like lightning. She imagined that lightning could split her in half.

"I need to check my mail," she glared at him expectantly.

"I see, but I don't think anyone's sent you anything." It was just his annoying way of saying _You're not important enough_.

She resisted the urge to wring his neck like a chicken. "Still," she said, and then lied, "I'm expecting something important."

It would happen like this. She would have to request him until his majesty would find it in his kind heart to let her use her own internet connection. Ignoring him, she would stick the lan cable back into her own PC and do her work L would then sit impatiently on the edge of the bed,like a child waiting for his mother to finish her work so that she could tend to his needs.

Raito was not going to tend to his needs, especially if they were _those_ kinds of needs.

Interestingly enough, he was charming to Sayu and Mrs. Yagami and once, Raito walked into the kitchen when they were laughing at something he had said to them. Now that was surprising. Raito hadn't thought that he had a sense of humor, even though, in the past, there had been plenty of things he'd said to her that had made her burst into peals of laughter. Seeing her mother and sister laughing made her recall those moments and filled her with sadness that he had squashed her dreams like an insect.

And the times when she needed to change her clothes before she showered, that was so awkward! She'd have to knock on her own door and tolerate him watching her like a hawk as she took out a fresh outfit. The worst part was when she would have to hide her underwear because she had once caught him staring at a green bra she'd put on her towel. She blushed and quickly shoved it under her towel and dared him to make a smart-ass comment about her taste in underwear or her bra size, or something equally obnoxious.

Instead, to her surprise, he turned away, going back to his work as if it was as awkward for him as it was for her. She wondered secretly if he himself would not take a shower since he rarely came out of her room. But early one morning, she was roused from sleep by the sound of the shower in full force. She softly opened her door and saw L come out of the bathroom, wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt, his black hair wet and glistening, with a towel hanging from his shoulders.

She quietly closed to her door and went back to bed.

Her mother came to her room in the afternoon the day before her exams. She was still studying as she lay on her bed, enjoying all the space since Sayu still hadn't come home.

Mrs.Yagami sat beside her on the bed and was silent for a long moment.

"Is there something you wanted to say, Mom?" Raito prodded gently. She'd always been nice to her mother but lately, she'd turned to treating her parents with more kindness because of the guilt that she felt.

"Well," Mrs. Yagami pondered. "It's just that…your husband seems very nice." She flushed a little, embarrassed to admit this.

The corner of Raito's lip twitched in an amused smile, even though she didn't really want to talk about this. "Ha ha. Ryuuzaki can be a sweet-talker when he wants to be." She knew that from personal experience.

"Yes, well," Mrs. Yagami shifted uncomfortably. "I suppose I don't understand why you want to leave him."

Raito's mouth set in a grim line. "He's the one who left me, Mom," she pointed out briskly, reading the lines in her text book.

"But why?" asked her mother.

Raito paused. How could she tell her mother the whole story when there were so many details that she didn't want to revisit, details that were so painful and private. "We had a fight just a few days after our wedding," she answered, choosing her words carefully. "And just after that, he left for England without telling me. We had no contact for two years…"

Mrs. Yagami's face was brimming with tender concern. "Why didn't you tell us?" she asked, sounding hurt.

Raito swallowed. "I thought we'd tell you what the time was right," she responded. "I thought he and I would be happy together. I didn't think it would turn out like this. And…I thought I'd made enough mess of my life already. I didn't think that anyone could help me."

"Oh, Raito," Mrs. Yagami lay beside her and put her arms around her, giving her a motherly hug. Raito stiffened at first in surprise before relaxing in her embrace. Her mother used to hold her like this when she was young, when she was sad because of something that had happened in class or if she'd hurt herself in the playground. It made her feel warm and secure, happy that for the first time in days, she felt that everything would be all right.

"Raito," Mrs. Yagami said softly. "You could've come to me. I would've done everything I could to help you."

Raito sighed. "I – I didn't think of it. I didn't want you guys to get involved and suffer over a mistake I'd made. It didn't feel right."

"Raito," Mrs.Yagami said again, her voice a little firmer. "We're your family. We'll love you no matter what."

Raito said nothing. Just lay in her mother's arms, letting the warmth comfort her. Even if it was just a fleeting moment, she allowed herself to believe that things would turn out in her favor, her family would protect her and eventually, she would move on with her life as if nothing like this had ever happened.

On the morning of her exams, Mrs. Yagami made Raito a big chicken sandwich. Raito was not much of a breakfast person, preferring to eat light but the older woman's gesture made her feel guilty, and so, she sat at the table and slowly made her way through a mile of bread, chicken, cheese and cucumbers.

Her father sat opposite to her, wearing his thick-rimmed glasses and reading the papers somberly. Naturally, they had said very little to each other since Raito's confession. It was difficult for her to be in the same room with him and sometimes she didn't know which was worse – being stuck with her father or being stuck with L.

_And speaking of the devil, here he comes now_.

L came languidly down the stairs, his bare feet making no noise on the floor. She would never admit this but she never ceased to be amazed at how silently he moved, like a cat.

"Good morning," he said casually and sat beside Raito. He smelled of chamomile and apples and for a moment, she wondered if he'd used her shampoo.

L would do anything to spite her, she thought darkly. _That's just the kind of person he is._ On the outside, he'd pretend to be innocent and clueless but on the inside, he was deceptive and cunning and willing to betray the people who cared about him if it suited his needs. A venomous snake, just like the one in the fable, where a serpent had been found by a man, half-frozen in the cold. As soon as the serpent had recovered from being near the fireplace, it had bitten the man who had saved it.

"Good morning," said Mr. Yagami.

Once again, it panged Raito. _This was not the way I'd imagined it._ What she'd imagined was a house filled with laughter and the shining, smiling faces of her parents as they all spent time together, but not this, no, never, not this…

She dared a question at him. "What are you doing up so early?" It was valid to ask him that since till now, he had never had breakfast with them. Mrs. Yagami poured him some coffee and L generously helped himself to the sugar cubes, as well as a huge helping of banana pie.

"I thought I would accompany Raito-kun to her university," he answered, "and provide her some moral support."

_Moral support my foot._ "I don't need any moral support," she snapped. _Especially from you_.

"I'd still like to provide it, if it's all the same."

"Strangers aren't allowed inside the buildings."

"That's no problem. I don't mind waiting outside."

"The exam is three hours long, Ryuuzaki."

"I'll take a book with me then," he shrugged.

She opened her mouth to tell him to piss off but Mr. Yagami interrupted her.

"Raito," he said sternly, "if Ryuuzaki wants to go with you, let him."

Was she imagining things or was that a smirk on L's face?

She scowled and vituperatively bit into her sandwich. If only she could bite into the bastard like that…

Er…in a very non-sexual way, she meant.

"When are your exams over?" asked Mr.Yagami, turning a page in the newspaper, moving from the headlines to the business section.

"On Thursday this week," she answered, grateful that he hadn't spoken to humiliate her.

"Hmm," Mr. Yagami nodded as if he were deep in thought about something. What? Her guts tightened.

"Here you go, dear," Mrs. Yagami handed her husband a steaming mug of coffee and a plate of toast. "Isn't it time for you to get going, Raito? Your exam will start in an hour."

Raito glanced at the clock on the wall. There was still forty-five minutes left to nine. And while she was nearly done with her breakfast, L was not. And that gave her some time to get started ahead of him.

"You're right," she got to her feet, drinking some water. "I should go now."

"I'm coming with you, Yagami-kun," L spoke up.

She tried to keep her temper. "You haven't finished your breakfast, Ryuuzaki," she pointed out.

Mrs. Yagami offered, "I'll put it in a plastic bag. You can eat it in the subway."

"Thank you," L said.

Helpless, Raito watched as her mother put the remaining banana pie in a small plastic bag and give him a thermal flask of sweet coffee.

"I put in seven spoons of sugar," she said cordially.

"That's very kind of you, Mrs. Yagami," L appreciated her. Raito narrowed her eyes.

"You'd better hurry up before I leave you behind," she threatened, gathering her things.

"Lead the way," he acquiesced. Her mother waved them good-bye and good luck and she waved back before hurrying up the street, L walking beside her. He never left her sight for an instant and to her surprise, he even paid for their tickets in the subway. She made no comment and neither did he, for silence was golden when all two people had to throw at each other were stones and insults.

He sat beside her in the subway near the window, ebony eyes pensive as he looked out the window at the passing scenes, the light from outside flicking on and off like a light bulb. He seemed to have forgotten his breakfast.

She took a deep breath and leaned back. She noticed the weird looks that the other passengers were giving them and then she glanced at Ryuuzaki again. No one would ever believe that they were married. She looked like a woman who had been hired to take him out for walks.

They reached her university about fifteen minutes before her exam was about to begin. She hated arriving so early because she didn't like waiting inside the classroom but now, she preferred waiting inside to being with L.

"You stay here," she instructed him. He stared at her. She slowly backed away from him as if he were some kind of lunatic, and then broke into a run in a hurry to get inside the building.

She took a seat far away from the window so that she would not be tempted to see what he was doing; for all she cared, he could cause a riot outside, it wouldn't matter as long as he left her alone. She relaxed in her seat and waited patiently as the invigilator handed out the question papers and the answer booklets. She twirled her pen between the space above her thumb and forefinger, a little technique she'd acquired over the years to pass her time as she got ready to take the exam.

Frankly, exams bored her because they were so easy to ace and sometimes, she couldn't fathom why other people were puzzled by complex problems, problems that to her were as simple as 2+24. Then again, her intelligence hadn't come of much use to her in her personal life because she'd gone ahead and married the worst, most insensitive man in the universe, and said man was back to ruin her life.

Bored, she flipped through the question papers, each problem simple to her and when she glanced inconspicuously around her, she noticed how perplexed her classmates looked, their foreheads crinkled with deep thought, making them look older than they were. As she started working on her exam, she felt a deep sense of isolation, the inability to relate to anyone else around her. It was not an arrogant isolation, rather a sad one.

The exam ended three hours later, at twelve o'clock. Raito had finished twenty minutes earlier but she'd stayed in anyway to revise. And to avoid L. She handed in her answer booklet when the invigilator came to collect everyone's, and went downstairs, not at all looking forward to seeing the man who was supposed to be her husband.

He was crouching on the bench under a cherry tree, his sneakers resting on the ground, the pie gone. He was so engrossed in his book that it didn't seem he would notice if someone made off with them. He looked up right then and when he saw her, he shut the book and put on the sneakers. She felt a streak of rebelliousness. What made him think that they were going to leave now? What if she wanted to spend some time on campus? What gave him the right to think that he could dictate her every move?

"How was your exam?" he asked courteously.

"It was all right." She looked around to make sure that no one was looking at him. (Perhaps, she did not want to be seen in public with this oddball of a husband – that is, soon to be ex-husband.) "How was it out here?"

"Not bad," he got to his feet. Even though he slouched like the hunchback of Notre Dame, he was still taller than her and she disliked how vulnerable that made her feel.

"It's pretty nice out there," L approved. "Very quiet."

"Uh-huh." She kept a polite distance between them. She didn't want to give anyone the impression that she knew him. If anyone wanted to know, she would just say that L was a homeless man from her neighbor who liked to read, and was enamored with her. Of course he wasn't homeless, judging from how much he earned, even if the way he dressed didn't show how wealthy he was. And he most certainly wasn't enamored with her because if he was, then he would never have left her the way he did.

"So how many do you have left?" he asked.

Before she could answer, a voice called from behind, "Yagami-kun!"

She spun around to find a boy from her class hurrying towards her, books tucked under his arm, a big smile plastered on his face. It was the same boy who always smiled at her when the professor dismissed them, and though she'd always avoided him, Ryuuzaki's presence brought out something mean in her, a trivial desire for revenge.

"Taro-san," she smiled radiantly at him and he blushed, maybe because she'd never paid him so much attention. "How did it go?"

"Pretty okay," he said with a goofy smile that she would have found appealing under other circumstances. "How was yours? I bet you aced every question."

The open admiration in his eyes and his voice made her laugh softly. "Oh, I try," she said with a show of feminine modesty. If there was one thing that she'd learned growing up, it was that most men were turned off by intelligent women. Not that she cared what this guy thought of her but vengeance on L would undoubtedly be sweet, after all the crap he'd pulled her through.

The boy nodded and eyed L curiously. "Who's your friend?" he asked.

L smiled at him, formidable, lazy and challenging. "I'm her husband," he drawled.

Instantly, Taro turned pale with surprise and confusion and Raito wanted to first slap herself and then L for ruining her reputation. She helplessly tried to come up with an explanation, anything that wasn't the truth, but Taro quickly hurried away with a mutter of "Hey, sorry, man."

L smirked as if to say, _No problem. Keep walking._

Furiously, she turned to him, her cinnamon eyes ablaze. "That was uncalled for," she hissed.

"Neither was flirting with him in front me, right?" countered L. "I would hate to think that the virtuous Raito-kun was having some sort of moral deterioration."

She steeled herself against that. "If I was, then I wouldn't be any better than you," she replied. "And then, I'd have only you to blame."

"Blaming other people for your problems?" L quirked an eyebrow. "That's not the Raito I knew."

She wanted to say something like _The Raito you knew is dead_ but that sounded too stupid.

"There's your friend," L gestured behind her. She turned around to see Misa, and decided that she really hated people sneaking up on her.

"Raito!" Misa's high, sweet voice sounded from miles away. "Raito!"

"Misa," she said blankly as the model stopped before her, a chipper smile on her face. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"I had a photo shoot nearby so I thought I might drop in to see you," Misa said, and then looked at L, expecting to be introduced.

Raito sighed in defeat. "Misa, this is Ryuuzaki. Ryuuzaki, Misa."

"Pleased to meet you," Misa gushed with a friendly smile, shaking L's hand. "Raito's told me all about you."

Raito rolled her eyes and stopped midway when she noticed how L's eyes bulged as he gazed at the model. Suspicion and jealousy sparked within her. Why was he looking at her like that?

"Raito-kun never told me that you were her friend," he said in awe. "I've been a big fan of Misa since the latest issue of _Eighteen_."

That was totally out of the blue. First of all, Raito had had no idea that L was into fashion magazines, and second of all, she didn't expect Misa to be giggling with flattery.

"Oh, really?" she exclaimed. "I'm so glad!"

"Indeed," L nodded. "I would even ask for an autograph but I don't think Raito-kun would like that."

"Oh?" Misa looked at the younger woman. "Come on, Raito, it's just an autograph – he doesn't mean anything by it."

_How do you know he doesn't mean anything by it?_ Raito wanted to accuse, but she gave in. She even tore a piece of paper from the back of her notebook and handed it to Misa, along with a pen, and watched helplessly as the blonde quickly scribbled her autograph on it and gave it to L. "There you go."

"Thank you," L sounded awed, staring wide-eyed at the autograph. Misa covered her mouth and giggled again.

"That's quite a man you have," she commented softly to Raito.

Raito glowered. "You wouldn't think so if he'd left _you_ without a word," she retorted but Misa didn't seem to hear her.

"Well, I should go now," she said, glancing at her watch. "It was nice meeting you." She bowed to L, and then hurried away.

They both watched her as she went out of sight.

"You know," Raito said, voice hard, "there was no need for that."

"Just as how there was no need for you to flirt with that boy in front of me?" L threw back. "Yes, I agree, then."

Raito gaped at him. For a moment, she didn't know what to say. "Since you're the one who left me," she said angrily, "you shouldn't care who I flirt with."

"Likewise," L countered coldly.

The whole world seemed to have stopped as they stared each other down like two foes in the middle of the desert, oblivious to the hustle and bustle of the university students. Finally, L spoke up. "Ready to go?" He was still holding the piece of paper with Misa's autograph on it, and he scooped up the thermal flask from the bench.

Raito nodded curtly and started walking away. L followed without a word. As they walked on, she saw him throw away the paper in a waste basket.

She was relieved on Thursday when her exams were finally over. She thought that she could kick back and relax, convince L that she was not at all interested in helping him solve his stupid case because she had a life of her own and there was no way she'd let him leave Japan before he gave her the divorce.

Mr. Yagami had been very pensive during these days. She trusted that he was thinking of a plan to save his daughter from going to England. Well, she could come up with something better but it comforted her that her father was on her side.

At least, that was the illusion until after dinner, when Sayu had gone up to her room and they all sat in the living room to discuss what she and L were going to do.

"So, Ryuuzaki," said Yagami-san. "What have you decided? Have you spoken to Raito about what you want?"

"I've already stated my plans," L responded, thumb pressed against the corner of his mouth. "I'd like to take Raito with me to England so that she can help me solve the case. After that, we'll sign the divorce papers and she'll be free to live her life. I'll never bother her again."

"I see." Mr. Yagami's eyebrows pursed at it. "And you'll have it no other way?"

"No."

Raito felt a surge of panic. No...it couldn't end like this. "I don't want to go to England," she objected, glancing at L. "I've no interest in working with you. All I want is the divorce."

"If you want the divorce," said L, "then you'll have to agree to my terms."

"That's not fair at all, Ryuuzaki. Don't tell me that you have the guts to demand something from me after the way you left."

"Speaking of which, you really haven't matured much since we last saw each other. You're still acting like an idealistic child when you know that the world doesn't work in a 'fair' way."

"All right then," Mr Yagami spoke up, breaking in their argument. "Raito will go with you."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "What? Dad -"

"She'll go to England with you and help you with what you want."

"Thank you, Yagami-san."

Mr. Yagami stood then, and left the room with his wife. Desperately, Raito followed them all the way to their room, where she closed to the door so that no one else could hear them.

"Dad!" she pleaded. "You can't! I don't want to go with him." He was her father, he was supposed to protect her!

Yagami-san regarded her with displeasure. "Raito," he said with strained patience. "You married this man in secret. You knew next to nothing about him and still, you dishonored your family. You can hardly expect us to uphold your honor when you have not upheld ours."

The answer came like a slap in the face. She felt the heat rising to her cheeks as her father continued, ignoring it when his wife asked him to calm down.

"You always talk about taking responsibility for your own mistakes," he said angrily. "And so, that's what you have to do."

Her ears were stinging as he went on, unforgiving. "I don't want you to come back until you're either fully divorced or securely married."

And that was that. The final word. She knew that she could say nothing that would make him change his mind, and she should just be grateful that he hadn't had a heart attack.

She left her parents' room with her tail tucked behind her legs. Sayu had already fallen asleep. She stood before the bathroom mirror, done with brushing her teeth, feeling numb that she'd lost a battle, and all of a sudden, as the tears that she'd kept bottled up came flowing, like the breaking of a dam. She slowly hunched over the sink, her shoulders shaking with sorrow.

How could this happen?

She turned up her head to find L standing at the door and staring at her with his big black button eyes. She frowned and quickly wiped away her tears, humiliated that he'd seen her in such a weakened, pathetic state. She was loath to expose her vulnerabilities to anyone, especially if it was L!

"I'm sorry," he said softly. It sounded like he really meant it. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

She shot him a glare on the mirror. "If you didn't want you hurt me," she said, hating how her voice shook with sobs, "you would've just given me the divorce."

"I can't do that." L shook his head. "I need you."

She looked at him but said nothing.

"I'm going to call Watari and ask him to book us a flight," L informed her. "Do you have a passport?"

She was shocked at how quickly he changed the subject, but with nothing more to do, she simply nodded. L was sympathetic as long as he needed to be.

"That's good," L approved. And then, he confirmed, "You _are_ coming with me, aren't you?"

She stared emptily at the sink for a long moment before she replied. "Yes," she said softly.

A/N: So Raito's finally agreed to go to England with L! I wonder what will happen there ;). I feel pretty bad for since she's suffered enough for the mistake she made but let's hope things turn out well for her. I finished this chapter yesterday but I wanted to wait before I posted it. Please forgive any typos that you see, I try my best to fix them. Chapter 5 is half-finished. Feedback is much-loved.


	5. Chapter 5

Nano word count: 4332

Total word count: 20374

I am on the mend...  
At least now I can say that I am trying...  
And I hope you will forget things I still lack...  
Brand New, "Sowing Season"

"Watari," Raito nodded cordially at the elderly gentleman at the door. "It's nice to see you."

"Likewise," Watari nodded. They hadn't seen each other in two years. Naturally, the older man had left Japan with his ward, leaving her behind. She didn't have anything against him since it was L's fault. "I trust you've been well?"

"Oh, very well," she smiled. Especially since L hadn't been there.

"And he was the witness at your wedding?" Mr. Yagami questioned, every bit the protective father.

Raito's mind went back to that night when she and L had gone into the notary office, smiling like two idiots in love with an apprehensive Watari tagging along, wondering if it was wise to make such an important decision so impulsively. Now she knew why people always said that you must always listen to your elders.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Hmm," said Mr. Yagami, and Watari looked slightly embarrassed.

L was indifferent to this interaction. "Watari has brought all the things that we need."

Seeing his cue, Watari produced two tickets, and Raito's passport that had been sealed with a UK VISA.

"I've arranged for her to get a spouse visa as opposed to a tourist one," L elucidated to Mr. Yagami as she opened her passport to look at the colorful seal. Seeing the words _spouse visa_ made her realize how serious he was when he would keep saying that he was her husband.

"So you are a British citizen," she stated, closing the passport, and regarded him with challenge, reminding him of another time when she'd asked him about that.

L quirked an eyebrow but he didn't answer the question. "Our flight should leave in two hours."

"Right," Mr. Yagami said. "Raito, do you have everything that you need?"

She'd spent the last day packing all her things, but she left some stuff behind deliberately because she did not want to give her family, especially her father, the idea that she was gone for good. Her mother and Sayu had helped in very interesting ways. Mrs. Yagami had helped by making sure that all her belongings fit perfectly into her suitcases and Sayu helped by advising her to pick out the nicest clothes to take with her.

(Undoubtedly, the most important thing she'd be carrying was their marriage certificate, which she'd keep hidden in her suitcase so that L couldn't steal it and hold her prisoner or something.)

Raito had rolled her eyes. "I'm going there to work on a stupid murder case," she highlighted impatiently, "I'm not going on my honeymoon."

"So?" Sayu made a face. She reached into her older sister's closet and pulled out an elegant red dress with spaghetti straps. "Here, take this," she instructed easily. "You look really good in it."

"Your point being?"

It was Sayu's turn to roll her eyes. "As soon as he sees how hot you look, he'll realize what an idiot he's been, and come crawling back to you."

Despite herself, Raito laughed and let Sayu put the dress in her luggage.

Misa had come to see her the previous afternoon and she'd heard everything that happened.

"So you're going to go with him?" her eyes were wide.

"I don't have a choice," Raito shook her head. "I have to agree to his terms if I want to end this marriage."

"I hope everything works out."

"I hope it doesn't. I'm going to do my best so that we can find the culprit, and he gives me the divorce and I can come back at the end of the summer."

"Oh." Maybe Misa had been hoping that she'd reveal some secret desire to reconcile with her husband, but there was no way that would happen. _Over my dead body._

It was early in the morning and Sayu was still rubbing her eyes sleepily. Mrs. Yagami looked somewhat teary-eyed but her father remained stern, ready to see them off.

"Take care, Ane," Sayu said drowsily and Raito gave her a hug. She'd never thought that she'd be sad leaving her sister.

"Call us when you get to London," Mrs. Yagami said as she embraced Raito.

"I will," Raito agreed. To her father, she said nothing, partly out of shame and partly out of resentment.

Her family walked them to the gate. She saw a big limousine parked in front of their house. Some of the neighbors were peeking out their windows, curious to see what was going on.

"All right," Mr.Yagami said, nodding to them. "Have a good trip."

"Take care," L said, and then nodding at Mrs. Yagami and Sayu, "thank you for everything. I had a wonderful time."

Raito wasn't surprised that he'd had a wonderful time at her expense. As they got in the car and drove away, L turned to her.

"You didn't say good bye to your father," he noticed. He had that confused look on his face that got under her nerves.

She turned away and stubbornly stared out the window. "I didn't feel like it," she replied briskly.

"Ah." And L said nothing more.

The rest of their drive passed in silence; they arrived at the international airport in forty-five minutes. As she got out of the car, Watari took L's luggage out of the trunk. He was about to take hers but she stopped him.

"It's all right, Watari-san, I can take it," she scooped up her duffel bags, slinging one over her shoulder, and the other in her hand.

"Let me carry that, Raito-kun," L offered out of the blue, gesturing towards the bag in her hand.

She tilted her chin haughtily. "I can carry my own bags, thank you very much," she retorted icily.

"I have no problem with that, but you have my laptop there."

She looked down at the black bag she was carrying. No wonder it had felt so heavy! Blushing furiously, she wordlessly handed the laptop with him and he thanked her.

"I believe this was one is yours," he gave her another black bag, which was considerably lighter than the one she had before.

"Yeah."

They went inside as soon as Watari had returned the limo back to the airport rental agency. She disapproved of an old man carrying L's heavy bags. Why did Watari always have to act like he was L's babysitter when L was more than old enough to take care of himself?

As they went through immigration, the officer behind the counter kept giving weird looks at them as if he couldn't believe that this beautiful woman could be the wife of such a shaggy-looking man. In L's defense, Raito would have said that it was not uncommon to see unattractive men with attractive wives since men were more into looks than women, but this was not the time to defend L, rather, ignore him. Watari trailed behind them, every bit his cordial and going-out-of-his-way-to-please-other-people self and he put the luggage to be checked for any suspicious items.

A part of her couldn't still believe that she'd ended up agreeing to go to England with him. All she'd wanted was his signature on the divorce papers so that they could both move on with their lives. She'd sent him numerous e-mails (a thousand-and-twenty-one e-mails, to be exact) during the first six months of their separation, and the bastard had not given her a single reply. She'd been alone and helpless and now, this man had the nerve to show up in her life and take advantage of her worst vulnerability to suit his own purposes. In short, she was fast learning that L was not the nice guy she used to think he was.

(Of course, she'd realized that the moment the hotel clerk had told her that he'd gone back to England.)

"It's going to be a long flight," L told her as they sat near the departure terminal. She kept her attention focused on the blaring television, pretending not to listen to him. "It's going to take us at least fourteen hours to reach London, and then another few to go to Winchester."

That got her attention. "Winchester?" she frowned.

"That's where the murders took place."

_The news broadcast_… "So that's what you're investigating."

"Hmm?" L looked questioningly at her.

"The two murders in Winchester," she elaborated. "I saw it on the news. The only thing I know about it so far is that they were unexplained."

"It's nice to see you taking an interest in the lives of other people," L said dryly.

"I could say the same thing about you," she shot back irritably. Behind them, Watari sighed and opened a newspaper to drown out their voices. Well, they weren't talking that loudly…perhaps he wanted to stay out of their private resentment towards each other. Not that L had the right to hold a grudge against her since she'd never done anything to him.

She changed the subject to ease the tension in the air. "Where are we going to stay in Winchester?" she inquired. "In a hotel?"

L took a moment to answer that, as though he were pondering whether he should trust her with this information. "We're going to stay at the place where I grew up," he replied with an air of vagueness.

That really helped, but she was used to hearing such answers from L and the tone of his voice told her that she'd have to be patient to find out what he meant.

She hated the cramped environment inside the plane, though she'd been lucky enough to get a business class seat, thanks to L. With the amount of money he had, she was admittedly surprised that they weren't on his private jet, but maybe he liked to use his private jet for pleasure and not business.

Another reason he was the worst husband in the world.

And there was this smell in the airplane…she couldn't put her finger on it but it made her feel as nauseous as a pregnant woman. She made a face and tried to take a deep breath but the air made it worse. Also, the fact that this was her first time on a plane didn't help things much, either. As the plane took up, a shrill boom sounding in her ears, the captain saying that they were now twelve thousand feet above the ground, she tried not to think that only a thin sheet of metal stood between her and certain doom.

She cast a nervous glance at L, who was leaning back in his seat, looking up as though there was something very interesting on the ceiling, but otherwise, he seemed quite bored. She guessed that he was already used to all this, and she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, ignoring the smell, and tried her best to be confident.

To get her mind off of things, she decided to rest her focus on the case. "Do you have any of the files with you?" she asked. She knew that L always carried around his files and notes about any case that he was solving, as she'd seen when they'd worked together the first time.

"Yes," answered L. She waited for him to go on, to give her the said files.

When it became clear that he wasn't going to do anything, she pressed, "Can I take a look at them?"

He glanced at her. "It's not wise to take out confidential files in a public place," he told her. "I'll show them to you once we reach Winchester."

She glared at him and then turned away. "You know," she said in a strained voice, "I agreed to help you, and I thought that you'd make it a little easier for me to do so."

He sighed as if he were dealing with a child. "I'd like to show you the case files as much as you'd like to see them," he admitted quietly. "However, it's something I can't do _here_. And there's some materials that might make you feel uncomfortable." In other words, he was saying that there were some explicitly violent photos and he had no desire for her to throw up over him.

She snorted. "I don't have such a weak stomach," she rejoined. "I want to join the NPA, don't I?"

"Well," he conceded with a little nod, "the only other explanation I can give you is that as your husband, it is my duty to protect you from the ugliness of the world."

She couldn't stop herself laughing shrewdly at that. "Don't you take bring up that 'I'm your husband' crap, Ryuuzaki," she threatened softly, bitterly. "You proved how committed you were to me the day you disappeared." She sighed again, remembering that horrible day. "When this is over, I never want to see you again as long as I live." The words sounded far too harsh, even in her ears, but she didn't care because he deserved it.

Onyx eyes hardened with an obscure emotion. "Understood."

For the next several hours, they did not speak a word to each other.

* * *

Raito was not able to sleep a wink during the entire flight. The sound of the engine and propellers made her think that she would go deaf; restlessly, she looked at the other passengers. They were leaning so comfortably against their seats in the dark plane, resting their heads on the pillows and snoring away as if they had no cares in the world. How could they sleep with all that noise? It was intolerable! 

When she looked out the window (somehow she'd gotten the window seat), all she could see was infinite darkness and gray cotton-like clouds. The plane quivered every time they passed through an air pocket, and she anxiously gripped the arm-rests of her seat, telling herself that nothing bad would happen. The sleeping passengers noticed nothing, lost in slumberland.

Her heart was palpitating from lack of sleep. She'd been awake for seven hours straight and she hadn't been able to even take a decent nap. Her throat felt dry and her head felt like it was being pounded with stones. Her stomach was folding like it was trying to cave in on itself. She could do with a drink but what she really wanted to do was sleep...

"You okay?"

She shifted her head at the direction of a deep voice and found onyx eyes fixed intently on her. She blinked; they were like the night sky outside.

"I..." she had forgotten their earlier disagreement. "I'm not really comfortable..."

"It'll be over in a couple of hours," he said softly. "Just hang in there."

She sighed. Swallowed. Her mouth tasted weird. "So did you get any sleep?" she asked lightly, trying to make a conversation.

"About an hour or two," he said. "I'm not very fond of planes, either."

"Yeah?" she was a little surprised. "I thought you would be."

"The ground feels surer." He gave her a little smile. Despite herself, she smiled back. She could tell outright that he was lying. He traveled so much, it was only natural that he got used to it. Nevertheless, it was quite sweet.

"Is England a nice place?" the question sounded juvenile but she didn't really care; it got her mind off of the shaking.

"It's not bad. There are many things to see in London."

"And we won't be staying in London, will we?"

L paused. "We don't have time."

"Hmm," she smiled sadly. "That's too bad. I would've liked to see it."

He pondered over it. "Maybe you could stop at London on your way back," he suggested, his wording careful. It made her suspicious but she ignored it for the time being. She had no energy to fight.

"Yeah, maybe," she shrugged. "I guess it would be a nice way to say good bye."

"Good bye?"

"When we get divorced."

"Indeed," he said dryly, turning away.

In spite of that, she continued the conversation for a while. She asked him how long it would take to get to Winchester from London. He answered that it would take an hour or two – they would be taking a train at King's Cross. She found herself looking forward to that. Once the plane ride was over, she'd feel much better, ready to take on whatever L threw in her way.

* * *

If Raito had been in a better state, she would've paid more attention to her surroundings once they stepped out of Heathrow Airport. Watari asked her kindly if the flight was good and if she slept well. She nodded drowsily, wondering to herself how the older man seemed to be in such good shape after that horrible journey. It was one thing for L to look unfazed because nothing seemed to affect him, but Watari? What was their secret? Did they bathe in the blood of the criminals they caught? She smirked. That would explain why L looked much younger than twenty-seven. 

What really astonished her was L buying her a ridiculously expensive donut and soda from the airport shop, saying that she needed some nutrition as she hadn't had anything since yesterday's breakfast. She wanted to protest and say that she did not need him to babysit her, but not wanting to appear ungrateful, she took the food and ate it to appease her stomach.

After the meal, she started to feel sleepy and it was much less noisier...which was a good thing. Nevertheless, she resolved to keep her eyes open until they got on the train and were safely on their way to the place called Winchester.

They took a taxi to the train station. Raito looked at this new world outside with awe, the people hurrying about the streets, tending to their daily business, the old but charming buildings. And then she spotted a tall clock-tower.

"Big Ben," said L, a smile in his voice.

She nodded, amazed.

They reached the train station soon. She stuck to him and Watari, tempted despite her weariness to explore this new, unknown city, but then she recalled what she'd said on the plane, and thought that maybe she could stay here on her way back to Japan.

L paid for a private, first-class compartment. She wanted to sit beside Watari, but as soon as she did, he got up and made room for his charge. It irritated her but she couldn't say anything about it.

And once again, she'd gotten the window seat.

As the train started moving, she decided to take the chance and get some sleep. Her eyelids had already started drooping and L's bony shoulder was starting to looking like a really nice pillow...

She scowled, slamming the door on that thought, and decided to lean against the window instead. And then, blissful oblivion.

* * *

Raito didn't know how long she slept. The next time she opened her eyes, she was still in the train and Watari was telling her that they'd arrived at Winchester, and they would soon be going to Wammy's House. She blinked and stretched as politely as possibly, wishing that the train ride had lasted longer so that she could've gotten some more sleep. 

L was outside, holding his silver cell phone between his thumb and index finger, giving instructions in clear British English. It intrigued her. She'd never heard him speak in English before. She'd been so used to listening to him speak in perfect Japanese that she'd ignored him being able to speak other languages as well.

They got their things and stepped out in the platform, walking for a few minutes until she saw a Rolls Royce waiting for them.

She frowned. "What is it with you and expensive cars?" she asked L.

"They're very spacious and comfortable," he said seriously. "The way to travel when you're on road. I suppose I'm not that different from other men in certain ways."

"Hmm, I'll bet," she said as she climbed into the car, letting the chauffeur take care of their luggage. For once, Watari was not doing any of these things and he seemed to be more confident, less submissive to L. So he wasn't really L's caretaker? Raito wondered. Did he just serve L because he was attached to him?

"Where are we going now?" she wanted to know. L had told her that they'd be staying at the place where he'd grown up, so she had to admit she was curious about it.

"Wammy's House," L replied. "It's an orphanage."

As they drove to Wammy's House, she realized how little she knew about the man she'd married. Her father had been right. She knew next to nothing about his background, his past, even his real name, and she'd still agreed to elope with him!

_Why?_ Why had she made such a rash decision? Why had she married this man? Had her judgment been so clouded by her age and girlish infatuation? What had ever made her think that she could be happy with a man like this, who'd hurt her in the worst possible way, who'd left her hanging for two years?

She shook her head. No. She could not let herself think this way. She had accepted L's proposal and that was why she'd come with him to England. She'd understood that in order to get what she wanted, she'd have to sacrifice her pride a bit to give him what he wanted. It was just a business deal with no strings attached and she must act professional.

_Not like the jilted wife. You've done that enough already._

"How long will it take to get to Wammy's House?" she asked Watari.

"About half-an-hour," he answered. "When I had it built, I wanted it to be on the suburbs, away from the mainstream hustle and bustle."

Her eyes grew wide with this new piece of information. "You built Wammy's House?" she exclaimed, softly so that the chauffeur would not hear.

L smiled with mirth. Even Watari was amused.

"Yes, my dear," his eyes twinkled. "I built Wammy's House."

"That's...amazing," she breathed. "But...if you built it, you'd have to be in charge of it. Where do you get the time to accompany L?"

"I left a very dear friend of mine in charge," Watari smiled.

"I see." Then, she ventured with some embarrassment, "What exactly is it?"

L answered this one. "It's an orphanage where genius minds are trained," he said. "It's mostly secluded from the world so that the orphans can concentrate on developing their intellectual skills. You won't tell anyone about this, of course."

"No," she assured him. He should know by now that she wasn't a big mouth. "I won't."

Twenty minutes later, they were pulling in the driveway of a huge, multi-story mansion almost hidden away by tall trees and spiked iron gates. It looked a bit like a Gothic mansion despite its white color. She spotted children playing outside and they stopped to look at them as the car parked in front of the mansion.

A man in a tweed suit waited in front of the door with a kind smile on his face. He greeted L first.

"Ryuuzaki, it's good to have you back," he said.

"Thank you, Roger," said L. "I didn't intend to stay away very long."

"Only a few days," Roger observed, and then looked questioningly at Raito, waiting to be introduced.

L took the cue. Obviously he was not that socially retarded. "Roger, this is Raito Yagami, my wife."

Understanding dawned on the older man's features. "Ah," he nodded and shook Raito's hand. She hated how L kept telling everyone they were married, as if everything was all right between them.

_Well, it isn't._

"Pleased to meet you," she said, remembering all the English she'd learned in school. Her English wasn't too bad, anyway; she was sure she could carry a pretty decent conversation. More than decent, actually.

Roger led them in. Watari had already disappeared. He was making some small talk but Raito wasn't listening properly, too absorbed in her new surroundings – the marble floors, the high ceilings, the elegant staircases.

"Are you going to start work already?" Roger wanted to know. "I could have your study prepared."

"I'd like to do that," L admitted. "But Raito-kun is very tired from the journey and I think it would be in her best interests to get some sleep first."

"Certainly," Roger approved, glancing at her, noticing how tired she looked. She gave him a polite, sleepy smile. "Her room is ready. Right this way."

He led them up the stairs to the third floor, on the left and stopped at the fourth door. "Here it is," he opened the door for her. She stepped inside. The room was well-furnished with a double bed (why?) and a bathroom on her right.

"It's lovely," she said appreciatively and she saw L nodding his approval. Had he had anything to do with this?

"I'm glad you like it," Roger smiled warmly. He was about to say something more when his beeper sounded, and he excused himself to tend to one of the orphans.

Leaving her and L alone in the room.

She looked at him warily. "Are we -?"

"No, I have my own room here," L responded. "We'll be sharing my study however."

"Ah, all right." That sounded acceptable to her ears. "Well," she shifted from one foot to another, finding it hard to keep her eyes open. "I suppose I'll be seeing you later then."

"You will." L turned around and left.

Raito undressed and dropped into the bed, falling fast asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

A/N: Sorry, I would've posted this chapter last night if the server hadn't been down. I'm sorry if Raito seems OOC but I guess we have to keep in mind that in this AU, she never found the Death Note and she and L met under different circumstances.  
Thank you every one for your feedback and encouragement :). I've already completed the next 2 chapters as well, so hopefully, those shall be uploaded soon :).


	6. Chapter 6

Nano word count: 4246  
Total word count: 24573

To bear the weight  
And push into the sky  
It's easier to lie, easier to lie  
And honestly  
To look you in the eye  
It's easier to lie, easier to lie  
Aqualung, "Easier to lie"

Raito's bones were aching with weariness when she opened her eyes in the dark. She swallowed and groaned, stretching on the bed, trying to ease her discomfort. It took her a while to remember where she was, and this was not her bed.

The red numbers on the clock resting on her bedside table told her that it was 10:00 PM. She frowned. How long had she slept?

Thirteen hours straight, she thought, because when she'd arrived here, it was something like eleven in the morning.

She quickly showered and dressed before going downstairs. Her stomach was rumbling like thunder. She hadn't eaten anything since the soda and donut and a part of her wondered why no one had woken her up for lunch.

_Must've been L's doing_, she mused. Then again, she'd needed the sleep so it didn't matter.

She found her way to the dining room, guided by the aroma like Hansel and Gretel being led to the witch's cottage. Her shoes made soft thumps on the shining floor, marveling how it reflected the overhead lights. For an orphanage, this place was pretty luxurious. From all the movies she'd watched, like Oliver Twist, she'd come under the impression that orphanages were dirty, dreary places where the food was terrible and the children were mistreated, not given enough to eat.

Wammy's House had changed her perspective. It was so clean and well-maintained and she passed rooms that seemed like playrooms and nurseries, marveling how lucky these orphans were.

But L had told her he'd grown up here.

She paused in her tracks, her eyes growing large. Wait…did this mean L was an orphan?

"Ah, Yagami-chan," Watari came, surprising her. "I was just on my way to wake you up."

"Hello, Watari-san," she smiled warmly.

"Did you sleep well?" He was so nice, so concerned about her well-being that it touched her. He'd always been kindly, even back in the days when L was courting her. He'd acted as the gracious chaperon, which amused her.

So why hadn't he warned her about L's true nature?

"Well enough," she nodded. "This is a wonderful establishment you have here, Watari-san."

"Thank you," Watari seemed pleased. "I try my best to keep it up to mark."

"If you don't mind me asking, where do you get the finances to maintain this place?" she asked curiously.

To her surprise, Watari chuckled, as though he were guarding a very amusing secret. "I have my own finances," he allowed. "And of course, Ryuuzaki helps out."

She raised an eyebrow, and then smiled lopsidedly. _Should've guessed_. "Did he grow up here?" she asked tentatively. She wasn't sure if she would get an answer since L was so guarded about his background. But that was understandable since he wouldn't want to let out any information that could be used against him.

Watari thought for a moment. "Ryuuzaki spent five years here," he replied. "And since then, he's lived on and off at Wammy's House."

"I see," Raito nodded. "So this is home to him."

"Rightly so." Watari smiled at her. "Shall we go to dinner?"

She had been about to ask him if L really was an orphan but she decided that that question could wait for later.

He led her to the dining hall. She saw the children seated along the table in a neat, orderly fashion, their little faces pensive as they took their dinner. Most of them would have to be in their teens. She would've thought that they would be more…_carefree_.

But having lost their parents, with no one to take care of them, it made sense for them to be quiet and reserved.

Interestingly, L was nowhere in sight. That hardly surprised her; she didn't think he'd want to stay long in a place where he would be expected to eat real food.

If he'd grown up here – lived here most of his life – what did he use to be like? She could envision him as the quiet kid in the corner, avoiding the crowd, unable to fit in, eager for dessert. Where was he now?

_In a dark room upstairs, eating green tea ice cream and watching porn._

She tried not to snicker.

The children were watching her intently as she sat down to eat with him. She felt uncomfortable under their serious, penetrating gazes, as they could look past her façade and discover what she was hiding. Did they know who she was? Had L told them?

"This is Ms. Yagami," Watari said to him. "She is a guest of L's."

The children were clearly surprised. Clearly L never brought any 'guests' to this place, especially not any women. She didn't know whether to be amused or flattered.

"Hello," she said tentatively to them with a gentle smile, attempting to break the ice. They looked at her a little more and went back to their food as if she did not exist.

Well, it was better than having them stare at her.

"They're not used to outsiders," Watari explained to her as he served her. "Most of the time, they're in their own world and it's hard for newcomers to make friends."

She nodded, her eyes on the orphans. "I can see that." She took a sip of her soup. "They must look up to L, don't they?" she remarked.

"Many of them do," Watari agreed. "Not all of the children have met him. L likes to keep to himself when he comes here."

_Ah, so he doesn't want them to know that he's their benefactor._ "Has he eaten?"

"He's in his room at the moment," Watari replied. "He usually takes all his meals there. I'll take you to him when you're finished."

"All right."

The food was delicious, welcoming to her taste buds, much more so than the rubbish served on planes, and airport food. She ate her fill and thanked him. This place was more like a luxury resort than an orphanage, but it was that way only because of L's generosity, and she allowed that he couldn't be all bad.

He had seemed nice enough during their courtship, impressing her with his high intelligence, and she impressed him with hers. On hindsight, she thought that she should've focused more on stability and dependence because intelligence was not everything.

"Come, Yagami-kun," Watari gestured her to follow him. He led her up two flights of dimly lit stairs. It was dark outside, the only lights in the building. They soon stopped in a room at the end of the hall with a dark mahogany door. She peered at the intricate engravings on the wood. L sure had expensive taste.

Watari raised his hand knocked.

"Come in," said a voice from inside. It sounded ominous. Watari opened the door and led her inside the dark room.

"Ms. Yagami," he said.

"All right, thank you, Watari," L nodded. Watari nodded and left the door, shutting the door behind.

Leaving her and L alone in the same room.

She had no reason to be nervous; he wouldn't bite.

At least, not literally.

"Did you eat?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "Did you?"

He off-handedly gestured to a plate of half-finished cake on the floor. She hid a smile, knowing that her suspicions had been right.

It was then that Raito realized this room was devoid of all furniture. The only thing she saw here was a computer on the floor (which didn't even have a carpet), with accompanying sound boxes and a microphone, and stacks of files and folders in the corner.

"So this is the headquarters of the Great Detective L," she remarked, awed by the simplicity of said headquarters. What did he do here all day?

"I wouldn't go as far as to call it my headquarters but yes, it's my base," he took a step forward, watching her as she looked around. There were no windows in the room either, and the only light came from the monitor, where she spotted a few photos.

"Are those pictures from the crime scene?" she turned to him.

L nodded. "Feel free to take a look."

She knelt down in front of the computer and peered at the screen, looking closely at the pictures. They were the bodies of the victims, obviously, placed in a certain position, and the wounds that she perceived made her grimace.

"These are the case files that you wanted to see," L came to stand beside her, handing her a few manila folders. "I'd like to hear your observations before I tell you mine."

She tried not to roll her eyes; he had always been this cautious about things he noticed about a case. He'd always want to hear out what other people had to see before he revealed his own thoughts. Much like a predator watching a prey before making any definite move.

Flipping open the case file, she took a look at the profile of the victims, some more gruesome pictures which she skipped, and the police reports.

Both the suspects had been found dead in their homes. One had been a storekeeper and the other a simple college student. She tried not to feel uncomfortable when she found that the latter victim had been her age.

"The police have no suspects, right?" she confirmed.

"They can't think of any," he informed her. "They've followed the most standard procedures but they haven't had any leads."

The standard procedures, she read in the reports, involved questioning the family and friends of the victims to find out if they'd made any enemies who might want to harm them, and such.

"So they both came out clean?" she was surprised. He nodded. Well, that was strange. Usually such crimes happened as a means of revenge but here, the victims seemed to have no enemies.

Then again, people committed crimes for their own messed up reasons.

"It's possible the police missed something," L knelt beside her, huge eyes lost in thought. "There could be dark secrets the victims were hiding that no one else is aware of."

"That's one possibility," conceded Raito, "but I'm not sure if these are revenge killings."

"No?" he lifted an eyebrow.

"Revenge killings occur when people are involved in something illegal, like drugs or smuggling, or if there was a case of unrequited love," she said. "Here, the police say there was no one who wanted to harm these people. That's credible enough because they were just ordinary people. Unless we have the light of new evidence, I'm inclined to believe that there's just a sick individual out there who thinks killing is fun."

L's thin lips quirked. "It took you five minutes to reach that conclusion?" he drawled.

She flushed at the jab. "Well, do you have a better theory then?" she asked, annoyed.

He crawled away to the corner like an ape. (He looked like a comical interpretation of Dracula's evil minion, from his blank expressions and the way his back was hunched all the time.) For a moment, she thought he wasn't going to talk to her anymore because he was angry with her retort, but he came back to her with a small notebook.

"This is my case journal," he explained, handing it to her. "I've written down some of my observations regarding this one. Please take a look and tell me what you think."

Frowning, Raito opened the journal. The last time she'd worked with him, he'd shown her no such thing. The only reason she could think of was that he hadn't trusted her enough back then.

So what made this time different?

_That's not important_, she admonished herself mentally, and turned several pages before she found what she was looking for it.

His handwriting was…messy, to say the least, as if he wasn't used to handling a pen. The only time she'd actually seen him writing something was when he had to sign his name after their wedding. She deduced that he was more used to typing, which came as no surprise, owing to the amount of time he spent on a computer.

She touched the notes. The ink was stale with faded fragrance. She narrowed her eyes to make out the words. Her lips moved to them silently like a fish breathing for air.

"Position," she murmured. L had written something about positions of the wounds...

Frowning, she quickly went back to the photos, gaze lingering on their chest. On the upper chest of the shopkeeper, there was an upright slash. When she looked at the picture of the college student, she discovered a horizontal slash.

She put two and two together.

"L," she said softly, realization dawning on her. She looked questioningly at L, who appeared grave.

"I was right in thinking you haven't lost your touch," he deadpanned.

She ignored his poor attempt at humor. "It's your name," she said. "Why would the killer write your name?"

L looked away, his hair falling like a cascade, hiding his face from her vision. "I think," he said, "the question should be, how does he know about me in the first place?"

She stared at the files on her lap, then at the monitor, and then up at him. "The first guess that comes to mind is that it's probably someone you locked away?" she suggested carefully.

"That's what I thought at first." L scratched his head, putting on his clueless face as he turned towards her. "But that's highly unlikely because I interact only with the police forces. I've never had any contact with the criminals."

"Well, perhaps it's someone from the Interpol."

"Yes, but what could their motives be?" he wondered aloud. "It doesn't add up."

"They could be jealous," she shrugged. "You do have a considerable amount of influence over them. Or," her voice turned sly, "it could be an angry ex-wife."

L did not look amused. "Perhaps then," he countered, equally sly, "Raito-kun is the killer."

Raito laughed dryly. "Don't be silly," she reproached, half-contemptuous, half-playful. "No woman would be crazy enough to kill over _you_."

"Raito-kun has put my worries at ease," L said sarcastically. "Now if we could go back to the case..."

"Well, it's already evident that the killer knows you from somewhere," Raito titled up her chin. "And he has something against you to carry out these revenge killings."

"So now you think they're revenge killings?" he questioned.

"Well, they're revenge killings, but they're not revenge against the victims." She stared at him. "They're revenge against you."

He looked perplexed about that. (Why?) "Revenge?" he echoed. In deep thought, he asked no one in particular, "Who would want to kill me?"

Raito rolled her eyes. "Isn't it obvious?" she couldn't believe that he was being so dense about this! "It has to be a criminal you caught." And then she remembered that he didn't do anything directly. "Or helped catch," she corrected herself. "There's a chance they've escaped, learned about you and now they just want to take revenge."

"And in order to find out about me," said L thoughtfully, "they would have to get the information from the Interpol."

"Or the CIA," she supplied, nodding.

L tightened his fist, once again turning away in frustration. "The killing methods are not familiar at all," he admitted.

Raito pursed her brow. "So you don't think this is someone that you caught?" she pressed.

"No, I really don't think so."

"Well, he obviously knows you." She looked at the photos again. "I can't imagine why anyone would want to kill you," she murmured.

"Why, am I that bad?" he said dryly.

She sighed, annoyed. "That's not that I meant."

"But sometimes," his back was turned to her and once again, she could not see his expression, "you act like you'd want nothing better than me dead."

"I want nothing more than a divorce," she enunciated, irritated by his I'm-so-hurt act. "That's the only reason I'm helping you solve this, remember?"

"So it's not about my money then?" he asked humorously.

She blinked. "Don't tell me you were planning to pay me for my efforts," she said in disbelief.

"I was actually referring to half of my assets, which my wife is supposed to get in case of separation."

"Well," she said haughtily. "I don't really care about your money."

"That's nice to know," he answered, voice bitter. Again, she wondered why. "So you'd leave me without trying to claim any of my money or property." It was more of a reassurance to himself than a question to her. It made her feel angry.

"I've already told you, Ryuuzaki, I don't care about your money," her eyes flashed. "I just want to move on with my life and for that, I'm willing to put up with you now."

"A noble sacrifice," he commented cynically.

Her hands curled into fists. Why was he goading her like this? "I've already sacrificed a lot of things for you," she said through clenched teeth, "this is the last."

L didn't say anything after that. He simply nodded, easily accepting everything she'd said. His reactions confused her. One moment he was baiting her for a reaction, the next moment he just gave up, as though he were struggling with himself about something, as if he were unsure of what he wanted.

He had no reason to feel that way. He'd already made clear what he wanted the day he left her.

And Raito was determined that on the day this case was solved, she'd leave him, too and never come back.

L changed the subject. The air in the room had become very heavy with tension and awkwardness, and she was grateful to go back to the case. How on earth had they strayed from the subject in the first place?

"It would be a good idea," he stated, "to look through my old case files." He hurried away to the corner. "There could be something I've missed."

"Okay," she replied, because she didn't know what else to say. _Be professional_, she reminded herself sternly. _You're here to do his bidding, act as his assistant until he gives you what you want and then you're free to go your way. It's nothing more than a business transaction between two capable adults._

And she had to admit that L was right about one thing: the experience she would gather from this would help her a lot in her future career with the NPA. _Just focus on the bright side. It'll be easier then._

She waited patiently for L to find what he needed before he was back, sitting by her side. She held her breath, suddenly feeling awkward and self-conscious about how close they were, but he took no notice and instead, shoved more papers in her direction.

For the next two hours, they were immersed in reading through his old case files and trying to find a match with the present mystery, looking for any clue that would lead them to the identity of the killer. Raito was impressed with the details he had made in his notes, even if they were a little hard to read. Some of the criminals she had never heard about, but the things they'd done made her sick and she was glad that L had been able to put them behind bars.

"Nothing matches," she announced, rubbing her eyes and putting away the papers and photographs. They were all scattered; it would be a pain to rearrange it, but thankfully, that was his job, not hers. "It doesn't seem like our killer's among these people."

"Hmm," he was holding up one page between his thumb and forefingers, reading its contents very carefully. "No, doesn't seem like it. Either I've never met this person before or they've changed their style. But even then, I should be able to find some patterns."

Raito frowned. "You really think so?" It made sense because a person could never completely change their thought patterns. Well, it was possible but was it really worth it to go through so much effort just for revenge? "It could still be someone from the Interpol who's jealous," she insisted. "Maybe there's someone who questioned your authority. Someone who made it obvious that they didn't like you."

"There's a fifty-three per cent chance you're right," he acquiesced. "However, no one fitting that description comes to mind."

"Have you ever profiled the people you worked with?" Raito asked.

"I've never had the need, I only make sure that they listen to me and agree to help me apprehend a criminal," said L.

"So you've never considered the possibility that they might not be very fond of you?"

"I have considered the possibility. I know that many of them do not trust me because they dislike taking orders from someone they've never met. But I never thought that anyone would commit these murders to get at me."

Raito thought about this for a moment. Every possibility had been so far exhausted. That left only one thing to be considered...

"Do you think it's someone you know in real life?" she asked him. "Someone who hated you? Someone you were rivals with and now, he wants revenge?"

L looked at her blankly. "I don't know many people on personal terms," he admitted. "If I considered that possibility, then the killer would have to be either you, Watari or Roger. And I don't think that's true." He looked up, putting away the papers. "He wrote my name on the bodies," he muttered.

"Obviously, he's trying to give you a message," Raito said helpfully.

"And it's not clear what the message is since all he said was 'L'," the detective seemed discontent with the dead end.

"That could be," Raito nodded thoughtfully. "But there might be another message hidden there."

"Hmm?"

"L means fifty in Roman numerals, right?" she offered.

Instantly, his interest was peaked. "Fifty," he echoed.

"It could be a code for something, maybe a date or an address...or the number of victims," she added rather grimly.

L thought about this. "I hope it's not the number of victims. That would be too much work."

"You mean, unnecessary loss of human life," she corrected him. "Yeah." She paused. "So if it could mean something else, then what do we do about it?"

L shrugged. "It's too early to tell. All we have is my name and the number fifty. And two victims. It still doesn't make complete sense," he chewed on his hangnail. "The only option we have is to wait?"

"Wait?" Raito asked in disbelief. "You mean, like, wait until he gets more victims?"

He regarded her with boredom. "That's the idea."

She couldn't accept that. "But...more people will die," she objected. "The longer we wait, the worse the damage gets."

"Do you have a better idea?" he challenged her. "Because if you do, I'm very interested."

Stubbornly, she averted her gaze as he went on, his voice flat. "The information we have so far is too limited to identify him," he stated. "I don't like it anymore than you do but we need him to give us more clues, something more tangible or logical to go on."

She had no choice but to accept that. Even if they were making the sacrifice for the greater good. "I just don't like the idea of more people dying," she said softly.

"I understand," he said quietly.

They'd gone through something like this the first time they had worked together. She didn't like how impersonally L regarded all his cases, like it was just a pass-time for him, a challenge that he had to win. He'd told her that she shouldn't get so emotionally involved, but that was just their different perspectives.

They sat together in the dark for a few more minutes, having reached this temporary stalemate. Raito knew it was futile to search for another way, so she said nothing, waiting for him to suggest what their next move should be.

"I think we should call it a night," L said, surprising her.

"What?" she cried, taken aback. "You're giving up?"

L looked at her blankly. "I'm not giving up," he pointed out. "I only suggest that we wait for him to make the next move."

In spite of how horrible it made her feel, she had no choice but she accept it. Nodding, she got to her feet and he did, too, putting a hand in his pocket.

"All right, then," she said to him uneasily. "We'll call it a night."

"Okay."

She walked to the door. He followed her. She reached out to open and with a start, found her hand touching his since they'd both reached for the knob at the same time. Swallowing, she drew back and let him open the door.

"Good night, then," she said as she stepped out.

"Good night, Raito-kun." And then, L shut the door.

Raito slowly walked back to her room. It was late at night and the halls were eerily quiet. Her room was in the floor beneath this one. As she settled in her bed, she was filled with dread about what the culprit would do next.

And she felt sick in her stomach.

A/N: Yay, so Raito and L have started working on the case! Will it bring them closer? Dun dun dun. And I've almost finished the next 3 chapters, too!  
And about all the intellectual stuff regarding criminal psychology, I just made it up so don't take it seriously :). Thanks to everyone for their support. Feedback is most welcome :D.


	7. Chapter 7

Nano word count: 4034  
Total word count: 28702 

Wammy's House was beautiful now that Raito got to see it in the full daylight, fully rested. She stood near her window and looked down at the children running in the playground, laughing and playing tag. Some of the younger children were on the slides and swings and see-saws. It reminded her of the kids at recess when she used to go to school.

She was wrong about them being too serious. Perhaps they'd treated her like that because she was a stranger to them. But in the last few days, she noticed that they'd warmed up to her, especially the youngsters, who flushed with shyness every time she was near. It was pretty cute. She'd tried talking to the children once or twice but it hadn't really gotten anywhere beyond them telling her their names. And she couldn't possibly ask them what had happened to their parents because many of the children were so young, they probably didn't even know who their parents were.

"It's very tragic," Roger had said to her one day when they were sitting together in his study, having tea. "Most of these children come from troubled homes, where they often fell victim to domestic abuse. Some of them witnessed all sorts of violence and eventually, they ended up here because there was no one else to take care of them."

"But they're very bright, aren't they?" she asked, recalling how she saw a child of eight solve a very complex puzzle in a matter of minutes earlier that morning.

"Oh, yes," Roger took a sip of his tea. "They're lucky to have ended up here. Without their parents around, they wouldn't have gotten the care and attention needed to help them achieve their full potential."

_Yes, they are very lucky indeed,_ she'd thought.

She didn't see much of L. Evidently, he preferred to keep himself locked in his room, like an angsty teenager. Or a vampire. The thought made her smile, because he did seem like a vampire with his pale skin and aversion to healthy food.

Sometimes, she wondered what he would be doing in his room. If she went in unannounced, how would she find him? With his eyes closed, hanging upside-down from the ceiling? Or staring wide-eyed at the monitor, watching…questionable material? She winced her disapproval.

Of course, she shouldn't care about what he did in his spare time. She'd hardly seen him after the night they'd agreed to wait for the culprit's next move. Perhaps that was good because they didn't need to spend more time together than necessary.

Well, it was work, not spending time together, an inner voice pointed out to her, but one thing was for sure and that was that they should see each other as little as possible. She had to admit, it wasn't easy being with him like this, as strangers who resented each other, when the last time she'd been with him, just before he left, she couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life with anyone but this man.

_And look how that turned out,_ she mused bitterly. She was twenty, married, separated and soon to be divorced. Not exactly the perfect life that most people imagined she'd have.

Raito had been filled with an unsettling feeling since she and L had decided to wait for the criminal's next move. She would think about the unsuspecting people in Winchester and wonder which unfortunate individual would become the killer's next target. A part of her wished unrealistically that she could send out a warning to the people, telling them to be careful and not come out of their homes after dark (despite the fact that both bodies had been found inside the victims' homes), or even, not let any strangers in.

She imagined what L would say if she confessed this to him.

_That's absolutely ridiculous, Yagami-kun,_ he'd put her down, unamused. _If you do that, we'll never solve the case_.

_Well, at least we'd save lives and that's more important!_

To which, L would sigh and make a condescending comment about the passion of youth and she'd want to retort that it was the same passion that had made her fall in love with him and elope, like two lovers in a Jane Austen novel.

And speaking of Jane Austen, her English was improving. She felt a sense of triumph at that. _Maybe this trip will pay off in many ways._ Sometimes she missed using Japanese but it wasn't so bad because she could still talk to Ryuuzaki and Watari in Japanese.

She'd called her parents the next morning after her arrival here. Good to know that they weren't worried about her. Her mother had said that she missed her immensely even if she'd been gone for just a day.

Her father hadn't said much. That was expected. She hadn't even asked to speak to him, it was her mother's idea to give him the phone. And Sayu had even had the cheek to ask her if she'd worn the red dress yet.

Raito had laughed and answered that there hadn't been an occasion yet to put on the dress. Not that she intended to, of course. She refused to become an object for L's lurid passions.

If he had any passion, that is.

As far as Raito was concerned, he was just a cold, slimy fish.

And the cold, slimy walking amphibian was knocking on her door.

"Ryuuzaki," she was filled with dread that another murder had happened, and the next clue the perpetrator had left for them. "Is something wrong?"

"Have you been watching the news?" he countered-asked.

She frowned at him. "No. I don't have a TV in my room."

Uninvited, he stepped in and she was forced to move aside to let him pass. He took a look around the room as though he were seeing it for the first time. She folded her arms and waited impatiently for him to tell her why he was here.

"We should get you a TV," he announced, astonishing her.

Then she frowned again. "Yes, that'd be very nice of you," she said sarcastically. "But what's going on? Has there been another death?"

"Not exactly," Ryuuzaki moved to perch on the chair like an overgrown bird, the pad of his thumb pressing against the corner of his mouth. "We're still waiting."

She looked at him questioningly. He looked at her expectantly.

"Sit," he gestured towards the bed, like this were his room and not hers.

Suspicious, she obliged, lowering herself on the edge of her bed, wondering what he was doing here if there hadn't been any new murders.

Maybe he had some new information to give her. Maybe he'd finally figured out who might want to harm him. After all, there had to be something he was up to when he was on his own.

When he opened his mouth, the most unexpected question came out:

"Did you call your family?"

She was taken aback. This was what he wanted to ask her? "Yeah," she said, trying not to be rude (her parents had raised her better than to be rude to her soon to be ex-husband). "Just yesterday."

"I hope they're doing well," he offered.

She eyed him skeptically. "Yeah, they're not bad," she nodded. She changed the subject bringing it back to their case. (Why were they talking about personal things anyway?) "Did you get any more leads?"

He seemed to have been expecting the question. "I've thought about it but I'm afraid I have nothing." He pouted. "I can't seem to figure it out." In other words, _We'll have to wait and see._ "And you?"

"Same, I guess," she sighed, resting one hand on the mattress, fingers curling in the sheet.

"Would you like to go out?" he asked out of the blue.

Raito blinked at him, utterly shocked. "Out?" she sputtered.

"It's no fun being stuck in your room when it's so beautiful outside," L shrugged, a sharp movement of his shoulders.

Now that had come unexpected. She didn't see _him_ out of his room for the last two days and now he was asking her...

Wait...what were his intentions?

He held up his hands in surrender, sensing her suspicions. "I have no ulterior motives, I promise," he said, his face perfectly innocent. "I just thought it would be more fun to hang out outside."

_Hang out? Her insides curled in disgust at the words but she agreed. He had a point, anyway. "Okay, then." She got up and he did, too._  
And when she looked up, she found his shoulder very close to her face, his scent, the protruding of his Adam's apple, and finally, his intense coal gaze on her.

Her mouth felt very dry all of a sudden. And her mind was blank.

"Uh," she started uneasily because she didn't know what else to say. His sudden closeness had made her lose her train of thought, made her remember...

Without a word, L shuffled away, face unreadable.

_Be professional, be professional, just forget that he's your husband._

As she locked her door and pocketed her key, they walked slowly through the hallway, L strangely quiet (all right, that was not strange since he was taciturn) in his usual hunched position, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He wore sneakers that squished on the floor, while her heels clicked elegantly.

As they walked down the stairs, he asked her, "What do you think of Wammy's House?"

She glanced at him. He was looking at her expectantly. "Am I impressed, you mean?" she asked back.

He smiled a bit then, to her surprise. "If you want to think of it that way."

She couldn't help smiling back. "I am impressed," she admitted. "Wammy's House is very well-maintained for an orphanage."

"And did you talk to any of the children here?" he questioned, genuinely interested in her opinion.

"I tried but...it didn't work out." She was sad. "I suppose I'm not very good with kids. And the older ones didn't seem very interested to get to know me."

"They're just shy," said L dismissively. "And self-absorbed."

She laughed. "Aren't they basically the same thing?" she said to him.

"Not really," he disagreed. "I would say that shyness means you want to talk to others but you lack the courage. Being self-absorbed in when you're not interested in others because you think you're better than them."

"Sounds like you're talking from experience," she observed.

L looked ahead. "I used to have trouble with people my own age when I was a kid," he confessed quietly to her. "They used to think I was too proud to talk to them but I just didn't know how."

Why was he telling her all this? Not that it wasn't interesting. "Watari told me that you're an orphan," she said carefully, waiting for his reaction, hoping that she hadn't touched a spot.

"Ah, yes," he nodded, but he said nothing more on the topic. She decided not to press it.

They'd already stepped outside, a breath of fresh air greeting her, ruffling her skirt slightly. She heard the laughter of the children, saw the huge smiles on their faces and suddenly, the world seemed like a less dreary place.

Even with a murder case and an impending divorce.

She decided that she rather liked being among them; it gave her a more positive feeling about life, that things weren't so bad and she was luckier than many people in the world. Whatever she'd suffered was from her own hands and she supposed that it was better than being affected by circumstances over which you had no control.

"It's cooler out there," she said to L.

"Well, yeah," he smiled lopsidedly. "It's boring to be stuck in a room with no air, nothing to do."

She rolled her eyes. "I find that hard to believe coming from a guy who has no windows in his study," she rejoined, not rudely. "And who doesn't come out of his room for two days."

"I had work," he said nonchalantly. "But I did come out."

"Oh?" she raised an eyebrow. "When?"

"Early in the morning," he shrugged again.

"To raid the fridge?" she guessed, cinnamon eyes filled with mirth.

"And get more cake," he replied with a straight face.

She found herself laughing at the mental image of him sneaking out like a child, at the crack of dawn, looking for sweet junk food in the kitchen.

_Be professional, be professional,_ said a mantra in her head.

"What do you suggest we do?" she asked him, looking around.

"We could take a walk," he suggested easily. "Or play tennis."

"Tennis?" she was amused. "You play tennis?" That was rather hard to believe, considering that he looked a starvation victim.

"I was the British Junior Tennis Champion," he explained, surprising her even more. "I'm quite good, you know."

She rose up the challenge. "Well," she told him with a taunting smile. "You should know that I was a champion, too."

"Then we're evenly matched." L approved of this. "Why don't we go to the tennis court then?"

"This place has a tennis court, too?" she asked him in awe as he led her away.

"And a basket ball court," he supplied monotonously. "And a swimming pool. Along with indoor sports."

She turned to her right, admiring the bushes and trees, the green beautiful to her eyes. "Impressive," she breathed. She hadn't known about these facilities.

"I'm glad you think so," he replied with some pride. "A lot of hard work was put into it to make this a top class establishment."

"I see." Should she mention to him that she knew about how he funded Wammy's House, or was that something too personal? She wasn't sure if she was supposed to know about it in the first place. "You're very attached to this place," she remarked instead.

"It's understandable since I did grow up here," he replied without looking over his shoulder. "Most of the times anyway."

Her ears perked at that. "Most of the times?" she pressed.

"Well...I had to leave for extended periods when I was solving a case. Like the time when I went to Japan and met you." He gave a small nod in her direction; she felt uncomfortable to be reminded of that. It was like reopening an old wound that she was desperately trying to heal.

"Actually, this is the first time I have a case in Winchester," L adjudged. "Most of the times, my work leads me away from here."

"And this is...home to you?" she ventured hesitantly.

He paused before answering. "Yes."

The tennis court was huge, needless to say. It was surrounded by bushes, little walls and white paint to draw boundaries, and a wide net in the middle. She hadn't played tennis ever since she graduated from junior high, but her stomach quivered with anticipation as she realized how much she'd missed the game.

"How long has it been since you played?" L asked, handing her a racquet.

"A couple of years, give and take," she answered. "I haven't played since I was fifteen."

He smirked. "So you're out of touch, then."

She made a face at him. "Don't get so cocky," she mock-scolded. "How about you?"

"I play now and then," he allowed. "It's hard to find a tennis partner since everyone here is either too much younger than me."

"Or too much older," she offered, referring to Roger and Watari.

He smiled at her. "Right."

"But then, I'm also younger than you," she pointed out with a hidden challenge.

"You are," he agreed. "But you're also my equal."

She didn't know why but that gave her a jolt in her heart. They'd always believed that about each other, it was why she'd agreed to get involved with him in the first place, but she hadn't expected him to bring it up now.

She went to her side of the court, preparing herself for the game, intently watching L bounce the ball on the other side. And it was then that she realized that she was not wearing the right shoes.

"Shoot!" she exclaimed, loud enough for him to hear.

"What's wrong?" he called to her, pausing, one hand holding the ball, the tennis racquet dangling from the other.

"I'm not wearing the right shoes," she answered, feeling very silly.

"Oh," he glanced at her feet. "You don't want to play then?"

She didn't see how she could play tennis in those smart black pumps that would make running quite difficult, but she was no quitter and she wouldn't let L have the upper hand just because of a pair of stupid shoes.

So she quickly went into the corner and plied off the pumps, feeling the gravelly texture of the ground against the soles of her bare feet. Well, it wasn't perfectly comfortable but at least, it would make running easier.

In triumph, she turned back to look at L, who started looking a little unsettled at first. She frowned. She'd only taken off her shoes, why should that make him feel uneasy?

And then, she recalled how...in the old days, he'd said to her that one of the things he most adored about her body was her feet because they were so..."delicate and graceful."

_Don't think about that._

She wasn't doing this to play dirty by distracting him. But if it worked in her favor...if it taught him a lesson, then sure, why not?

_A sweet revenge under the guise of professionalism._

"Ready?" she smiled challengingly at him.

He bounced the ball on the ground a few times, and struck hard.

It almost whizzed past her; she would've missed it if she hadn't been quick on her feet, her arm shooting out, her wrist making the swerve to hit the ball back in his direction.

The ball shot past Ryuuzaki's shoulder like a comet, bouncing against the wall. He stared at it, and then blinked a few times.

"That was amazing, Yagami-kun," he said appreciatively, bending down to pick up the ball.

"Thank you," Raito tried not to gloat.

The next time he swerved at her, she tried to hit the ball, but it had come too fast and she missed. She stared at him incredulously, surprised by the venom, but he shrugged innocently, as if to say, _All's fair in love and war._

Well, she gritted her teeth. It used to be love between them. Now it was war.

For the next forty-five minutes, they played like two souls possessed. Sometimes she would hit the ball so hard that it nearly smacked L in the face.

(And she would be sad that it hadn't.)

It was no longer a friendly game between two opponents or about professionalism. It was personal, a means of getting revenge, a way of expressing everything she couldn't with words – the anger, the frustration, the hurt.

She'd promised herself that she wouldn't let all those negative emotions get in the way; instead, she would try her best to focus on her primary goal, but the game made her forget. As did constantly having to keep her eyes on L, something she usually avoided doing. But watching L move with such determination, often a blur of white and blue, the loud hitting sounds, his black hair flying in the wind – how come it never got in his eyes? - was a huge distraction for her because that single-minded focus kept telling her that it was really him, he was really back; this was not a dream and she had agreed to cooperate with him so that he would give her what she wanted.

She wasn't even aware of what she was doing. She hadn't seen the spectators surround them on the boundaries of the tennis court, watching them in awe like two gladiators in an arena. Dimly, her mind registered the voice of a referee but she didn't care; all that mattered was that she had to beat L, make him pay for what he'd done to her, for the way he'd broken her heart.

_I never deserved that, you bastard_.

And she swerved as hard as she could, putting in all her focus and determination as if this final shot would decide her fate.

And in a way, it did.

Because L had missed it and the referee had just announced her as the winner.

She stopped then, trying to catch her breath, wiping the sweat off her forehead. Her feet was aching, slightly bruised, the adrenaline was rushing through her veins, making her feel elated. L stood on the door side of the court, his gaunt face pale, skin glistening with sweat and his chest was heaving, too.

As he approached, she swallowed, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"That was a good game, Yagami-kun," he said appreciatively, and then he reached out a hand to shake hers.

She didn't know why but the gesture and his reaction made her very angry. Did he have no feelings at all? Was she the only one who'd taken this game personally?

"Yeah," she nodded quietly, shaking his hand. It felt cool and clammy with sweat, but his skin was soft and smooth, just the way she remembered it.

He hadn't changed much.

She looked at the crowd around them and gave L a little smile. "Looks like we gathered quite an audience," she commented.

She was limping slightly as she left the tennis court, her soles hurting from running over the ground for so long. She'd have to bathe them in warm water as soon as she got back to her room.

"You all right?" L asked her in concern.

"Uh, yeah," she tried to hide her limp, trying to keep in stride with him. She really hated it when it looked like he was slowing down on purpose. "It's no big deal."

"You want to go back to your room?"

Not with you. Aloud, she shook her head and said, "In a bit. I could actually do with a drink. The game's made me very thirsty."

"Okay. We could go to the kitchen, then."

The kitchen was empty when they got there. She'd never been here before but she liked how neat and pristine it was, spic and span, not a single thing out of place.

And judging from how well L seemed to know the kitchen, she guessed that this was his favorite place in all of Wammy's House.

Raito slowly sat behind the kitchen counter, loving the feel of its cool surface against her palms. The game had made her very hot and thirsty indeed. She took off her shoes again and wriggled her toes to ebb down the discomfort.

L was raiding the fridge (just like she'd imagined!) and he came back with two tall glasses of orange juice with little ice cubes floating on top.

Well, he was quite the host.

"Thank you," she said as he handed her one glass. She took a sip, the drink satiating her parched throat. And then she saw him dropping a few extra sugar cubes into his juice. She couldn't help hiding a smile behind her glass. It was so like him, to add sugar to everything. He'd told her, when they first met, that sugar helped him increase his brain activity.

Sadly, sugar had not increased his emotional intelligence.

And it further surprised her that he was not crouching on the kitchen stool. He was actually sitting like a normal human being. Okay, granted that crouching on a stool was a task that not even L could achieve, but still...it was the first time she'd seen him sit like this. He'd even held the classes with more care than with other things.

She was about to say something when L's beeper sounded. He quickly fished it out of his back pocket and read it, his features growing tense.

"What is it?" she asked anxiously.

His eyes met hers. "There's been another murder," he said gravely.

A/N: Sorry I couldn't post this earlier. There was serious tornado raging through my country on Thursday night and on Friday, there was no electricity or water in my city.  
I wasn't sure if it was realistic for men and women to play tennis together since they do never to that in tournaments, but Serria said it'd be ok since L and Raito weren't playing in a tournament.  
Also, do forgive any typos that you find and please let me know. Feedback is highly appreciated.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

Nano word count: 4116  
Total word count: 32818

Relax don't do it  
When you want to to go to it  
Relax don't do it  
When you want to come  
Relax don't do it  
When you want to suck to it  
Relax don't do it  
When you want to come  
Come - oh oh oh

But shoot it in the right direction  
Make making it your intention - ooh yeah  
Live those dreams  
Scheme those schemes  
Got to hit me  
Hit me  
Hit me with those laser beams  
Frankie Goes to Hollywood, "Relax"

L had never shown his face in public before. He'd always lurked in the shadows like Batman and Watari was his Alfred, going to places where he couldn't have gone himself with a trusty iBook that served as the communication between L and the police.

In a small city like Winchester, where violent crimes were virtually unheard of, L still had a hard time believing that someone could do something like this. Especially if that someone was aiming to get to him somehow.

As soon as he got the message, he notified Watari. Raito was still sitting at the kitchen counter, shocked by the news, her beautiful face pale with shock. He'd noticed that she'd become more sensitive during the years that they were apart. Perhaps that was because she was in a strange land where she didn't know too many people and the customs were unfamiliar, and with a husband that she hated.

But then again, this was Raito and Raito could adjust to anything.

L had known that since he was aware she hadn't lost her mind after he'd left her, like another weaker woman would have.

Like he thought, this was Raito he was dealing with and she could undergo trials by fire and come out unscathed.

Watari came into the kitchen, wearing his hat and trench coat, carrying the iBook in one hand. L nodded his confirmation and the older man set out to go the police headquarters and get the details of the latest murders.

He turned to Raito, who had now visibly tensed, and a part of him – a very old part that still cared about her – wanted to reach out and touch her hand to reassure that everything would be okay. But a bigger part, the more logical, rational one that controlled most of his thoughts and actions, told him that he should not impose on her personal space. Instead, he should focus on the task at hand.

Interestingly, that part of his brain had been totally ignored when he'd decided to elope with her.

"Come, Raito-kun," he said, his voice deep and quiet. He led her upstairs to his study, where he turned on the computer and waited to connect with Watari.

She waited behind him and watched what he did. He needn't explain to her the details of how he worked and when he was done, they sat on the floor together and waited to hear from Alfred – Watari.

"How many victims do you think he got this time?" Raito asked anxiously.

L thought about it for a moment. "There's a fifty per cent chance he got one," he said, arms wrapped around his knees. "And a seventy-five per cent chance two."

Her beautiful brown eyebrows drew together in a knot; she did not look happy to hear that.

What L was tense about was what the killer's next message would be. He was already greatly disturbed by his name being on the victims' bodies and even after days of thinking, he still hadn't figured out how L being the number fifty could be used as a clue. He hated waiting helplessly as much as the next person but the only way he could comfort himself was that his patience and sacrifice would gradually pay off.

"How far is the police station from here?" she asked suddenly.

He stopped in the middle of chewing his forefinger. "It takes about forty-five minutes to get there." He looked at her.

She nodded. "Did you get any details?"

"None," he shook his head. "Watari's going to send them over as soon as possible."

"Okay." She was feeling uneasy being in a dark with him; he could tell by the way she tried to hide her squirm and how she kept looking around nervously as if he would pounce on her unsuspecting bones any minute.

He wanted to make a joke, say something light like "Don't be scared, I don't bite" to ease the tension in the air, but Raito would not be amused. After all, he'd already hurt her in the worst way possible and he didn't imagine that she'd ever forgive him for that.

Or if he would ever forgive himself.

"So do the Winchester Police Department know about you?" asked Raito suddenly.

The question took L by surprise as it had come out of the blue. He looked blankly at her, playing the innocent card that she was so familiar with. "Why would you think they didn't?" he asked, pretending to sound baffled.

Her lips quirked in a smile to let him know that she was already onto his game.

"I know you usually work with the big names like FBI or Interpol," she elaborated. "I wasn't sure if small town cops even knew what an L was."

_Touché_. Yes, she was as good as he remembered.

(And beautiful, too.)

He hid a smile of his own, facing the monitor, awaiting a notification from Watari. It took him a moment to answer. "Never could get anything past you," he said regretfully.

"Hmm?"

He glanced at her, somewhat playful. "You're right about them not knowing what an L was," he replied, quoting her, still smiling. "It's just a little ironic that I'm practically a celebrity all over the world, and just about unknown in my own city."

"Very ironic," she agreed with a nod, and he smiled again at how easy she found it to tease him.

Or insult him, more like it.

She glanced at the watch on her slim wrist. He caught the strong silver shine in the dim-bright light from the monitor, and wondered who'd given it to her.

A ninety-nine per cent chance that the watch was from her father, a present for getting into Todai University, he concluded to himself confidently. Raito had never been into expensive watches (or jewelry, for that matter) so the watch had to be a gift.

(Did she still have the ring?)

Her rosy complexion was blanched from the splash of white from the monitor and she was squinting slightly. Obviously, she wasn't too used to the dark. Hesitantly, L ventured, "Do you need a light?"

Raito was surprised by the suggestion. "You have a light in this room?" her eyes widened.

Getting to his feet, L went to the corner and quickly retrieved a battery-operated table lamp. "I need one sometimes," he placed it beside her, turning it on. Instantly, the harsh yellow light flooded her like a halo, lighting up her features like a lamp, making her blink a couple of times.

L realized, with a pang that he didn't want to admit, that she would look beautiful under any light.

"What's taking him so long?" Raito wondered aloud, impatiently as he sat down again. It had only been twenty-minutes since Watari left, he would need another twenty to get to the police station, and some more to get access to any useful information.

"Just be patient," he advised, and fixed his attention on the monitor.

She rolled her eyes, and perhaps finally relaxing, leaned back with her palm resting on the floor.

(Why couldn't he stop looking at her?)

"I hope we have more substantial clues this time," she told him.

"Why?" he asked.

"So that we can make sense of what he's trying to say," she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And I don't want to make any more sacrifices than necessary."

_Still passionate and idealistic,_ he mused. (Had she been with other men during his absence?)

He hated the idea but didn't think he could blame her if he had.

Asking Raito to help him had not been an easy decision. He'd boggled himself enough with the first two murders, wondering why his name had been on the corpses. At first, he'd thought that someone was taunting him, making fun of him, but the other meaning of his name, the Roman number fifty, agitated him because he still didn't understand what it could mean.

And not to mention, it'd been a great blow to his pride as the best detective in the world to need the help of a college girl, the same college girl he'd loved, married, and left two years earlier, never having contacted her to reach any sort of resolution about their falling out. He was fully aware that she never would have helped him if he didn't have such a great hold on her, being able to hit her worst vulnerability. He couldn't say that he was proud of it but he was willing to go to extremes with his idea of Justice and to get what he wanted. That was just the kind of man he was.

The remaining twenty minutes passed quietly between them. None of them bothered to say a word, perhaps because they had nothing much to say. At least, he heard the beeping signal and saw the calligraphic _W_ on the screen, smirking darkly to himself when Raito breathed a sigh of relief.

He clicked the mouse to activate the voice transmission. "What is it, Watari?" he spoke into the microphone.

"I've already arrived at the headquarters," Watari's voice sounded in the room. "I'm quickly moving into a small conference room where I can set up a video transmission as well."

"Okay," said L and waited.

Raito crossed her legs on the floor, intrigued. It was the first she was seeing him like this in action and fascination shone in her cinnamon eyes…and again, he felt that pang.

"He has headphones with him?" she guessed.

"Yes," L allowed, "he uses it to communicate private with me."

"I see." Raito looked closely at the monitor again and then over her shoulder at the corner where he kept all his things. "I should get the case files."

"They're right over there," he watched her move slowly across the room, her skirt hanging from her waist like colorful cascades, and then she came back, opening the files and then waiting for their next move like an eager student waiting to go to the next lesson.

He wished that it were from the excitement of getting new evidence. Unfortunately, it was only the idea of getting away from him that fueled her enthusiasm, and he hated to admit that it broke his heart.

_It's not like you treated her the best way,_ his conscience spiked him like sharp iron rods.

But she was _his_ and in spite of everything, he didn't want it any other way.

No matter what facade he put up for the world to see, a mask of indifference, it was still very difficult for L to work in close proximity with the woman who was determined to be his...ex-wife. It would bring back memories of their first time working together, surrounded by Yagami-san and some other officers in his hotel room, and sometimes, when they were alone, his hand would brush against hers and she would look into his eyes...

_Is that how it all began? Why does it seem like a lifetime away?_

Because it _had_ been a lifetime ago, he told himself, and he thought his feelings for her had changed, that the distance had done them both good, but evidently, he'd been wrong.

And then, he heard Watari's voice again, pulling him out of his reverie (how unlike him to drift off like that, but that was the effect she had on him) and bring him back to reality. He accepted the web cam invitation and soon, he found himself looking at a room full of police officers, with the Chief seated at the other end. Of course they couldn't see _him_ as it was just a one-way video transmission.

Fascinated, Raito leaned forward, listening intently as the police chief began to speak.

"L," said the Chief, clearing his throat. "There have been two murders."

L brought the microphone close to his mouth. "What are the details?"

"Same as ever," the Chief sounded tired. "Both the victims were found in their homes. No visible wounds but we found the bodies placed in a certain position."

Raito tensed again at this new piece of information. She and L exchanged a look. He spoke to the Chief:

"I'd like the photos of the crime scene, please."

The images were transferred to him in a minute. There were two or three photos of each victim, taken from a different angle, and in some, the bodies had already been removed with a white chalk outlining the position in which they had been found. As the police had stated, there were no visible wounds on the corpses.

"Estimated time of death?" he questioned.

"Eleven p.m." The Chief tiredly rubbed his years (did he remind Raito of her father?). "The autopsy reports are due in an hour but we're already theorizing that they were probably poisoned. Maybe induced internal bleeding."

"Hmm," L said gravely, moving aside as Raito leaned forward to take a better look at the images, brow furrowed in concentration.

"Is he sure there are no visible wounds?" she asked softly.

L asked the same question in the microphone. Dismally, the Chief shook his head.

"I'd strongly urge you not to release any details of these death to the media," L instructed. "Until we know what we're dealing with here, the public needn't be informed that there's a serial killer on the loose."

"Understood," the Police Chief agreed. "We'll contact you in an hour once the autopsy reports arrive."

"Very well," said L, signing off for now. He saw Raito looking at him in disbelief.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Why wouldn't you want the public to be warned?" she demanded, as though there was an outbreak of a deadly disease and L had said that he didn't want people to know how to treat themselves.

L remained patient. That had become hard as of late. "Think about it, Raito-kun," he reasoned, thinking that he could really do with a cup of sweetened tea at the moment. "We know nothing about the murderer or his methods of killing. Or his motives for killing."

"He seems to be very interested in you," Raito added darkly with a touch of maliciousness.

He paused. "I'm not sure how that knowledge will benefit the public," he stated. "Furthermore, he's picking up the victims almost randomly and we have no idea who he'll target next; we wouldn't want the send the public in mass panic."

Raito agreed grudgingly. "No, I guess not."

"And we're still waiting for him to slip up, remember?" L said as if he were talking to a child. His hand ached to curl about a warm cup of tea.

"Yes." And then she quoted the words he'd told her long ago: "We're dealing with a human killer, and sooner or later, he'll make a mistake."

His heart cramped with nostalgia. "Right," he agreed. "So there are no wounds to draw clues from. Therefore, we have to rely on other details." He pointed at the screen with one pale, long finger.

"The positions of the bodies," she immediately caught on. It would've been better if they'd had actual photos, but for now, these would do. Raito leaned forward, tilting her head from side to side to get the real picture while L watched her, wondering what conclusion she'd come with. He'd already realized something on his own but he waited to see what she'd come up with.

"The bodies," she spoke softly, touching the screen. She quickly brought out a pen and a piece of paper and wrote X. "Look at how they're positioned, almost mirroring each other."

"And on purpose," L concurred. "The killer's obviously giving us another message."

Raito looked down at the piece of paper on her lap, tapping it with the bottom of her pen. "X," she mumbled. So different from L. "Could it be another reference to Roman numerals?"

He pressed his finger to his chin. "The number ten," he muttered thoughtfully. "Fifty…"

"Could it be a whole number?" she suggested. "As in, five hundred?"

He thought about it, trying to figure out all the possibilities. "Or it could just be a…a phone number?"

She frowned at this. "Phone number?"

He didn't answer; he wasn't sure. What he was certain of was that he had never been so perplexed in his life and he was making a fool of himself in front of his wife.

_His wife…in future, ex-wife._

(He didn't think he could bear the thought.)

_Focus on the case. Professionalism, professionalism._

Raito spoke again. "I think that it's a direct challenge to you," she stated. "Not a phone number, just a message."

"Five hundred as a stand-alone message makes little sense," he pointed out a little forlornly.

"Maybe," she granted. "But if we ignore the Roman numerals just for your name, then the message reads 'L, ten'."

The suggestion caught him unaware. He blinked at her several times as the message – the incomplete message – sunk in.

L, ten.

Why did it sound so familiar?

He kept his expression blank. "That makes more sense," he admitted. "But still not enough to go on."

"But it makes more sense," she emphasized, "more than the number five hundred."

He looked at her. "I think we should keep both possibilities in mind for now," he said, not wanting to admit defeat. Nevertheless, he felt a sudden uneasiness germinating in him like a seed in the darkness of the soil.

L, ten.

Where had he heard it before? Why did it keep reminding him of something long ago, something he couldn't put his finger on?

"Ryuuzaki?" it was Raito's soft voice again. He met her gaze and saw her flinch. She must've grown unused to his unblinking stare.

"Is there a chance this guy's someone you knew before?" she wanted to know.

Once again, she'd been able to catch him with her sharp intellect, he noticed with an inward smirk. Never could get anything past you indeed.

"Not really," he lied; he wasn't yet comfortable telling her about his past and he wanted to avoid it unless it was absolutely necessary.

Raito narrowed her eyes. She didn't look like she believed him. How well they knew each other, despite the two-year gap, to know when they were lying.

Then why did it turn out like this?

The autopsy reports were on the Chief's desk in an hour, as promised. L quietly watched through the web cam, listening intently as the other man read them out while Raito took diligent notes beside him. She was using his case journal, her handwriting like a beautiful pictures beside his own shabby scribblings. He didn't know if he should be disturbed by how she'd made herself at home with writing in his journal.

His journal. His wife.

Stop it.

"That's very interesting information," he commented once the reading was done. Well, at least now they had something more to work on. He would hate to find that their research had come to a dead end. "It seems that our suspect used potassium cyanide to poison his victims."

"Yes," said the Chief. "Also, the tiny puncture wounds on the victims' wrists suggest that it must have been injected."

"But there were no signs of struggle," L pointed out. "Our killer must have somehow coerced the victims into take the shots. And you're still sure that the victims were not on any kind of drugs?"

"Positive," the Chief affirmed. "None of the autopsy reports have shown drug abuse of any kind."

The case was becoming more confusing by the minute.

"Maybe the killer was someone they knew and trusted," Raito murmured unobtrusively.

L considered this. "Chief," he spoke, "is any any evidence, any eye witness, of the victims recently associating with a new person? There's a chance that this could have been done by someone they were familiar with."

The Chief agreed with the theory. "It could be possible," he was nodding, "we'll check it out immediately." He looked at his staff, who were seated with their backs turned towards the monitor. L didn't know if that was because they were scared or because they hated him. "Are there any questions?"

"I have something," a young detective raised his hand and got to his feet to face the computer screen. "We noticed that the previous bodies had slashes that seemed to form a particular shape," he said. "And the most recent ones were deliberately placed in a certain way. What do you make of this?"

If possible, L would've turned paler than he already was. He hadn't doubted that they'd already noticed this but he hadn't been expecting them to ask him this question directly. To put it honestly, he'd been waiting for them to come up with their own theories instead of asking him.

"In my opinion," he replied, choosing to lie through his teeth, "it's nothing more that the culprit playing mind games with us. He wants us to think that he's leaving us encrypted messages with all these seemingly meaningful clues. They amount nothing." Was he trying to convince the detective or himself?

The detective didn't seem to be very convinced by L's answer; nevertheless, he simply said "okay" and sat down again.

"Thank you, gentlemen," L said formally. "That will be all for today." He signed off.

Raito was giving him a weird look when he turned to her. He raised a questioning eyebrow, preparing himself for a lecture about the ethics of lying.

"No, no, I'm not saying anything," she said in a show of surrender, already sensing what had been on his mind.. "I know why you didn't tell them about your theory."

L was afraid...anxious, rather, that if he told the police that the first two slashes spelled out his name, they wouldn't be very keen on helping him. After all, he was supposed to solve their problems, not be the cause of them.

"We can tell them when the time is right," he said somewhat uneasily. "For now, let's just keep it between us. We need more clues until we can decipher a coherent message."

"Right." Raito glanced at her notes again before putting them away and making to leave. He wished he could reach out and grab her hand to make her stay a little longer, stay with him for personal reasons, not professional ones.

But sadly, she didn't seem to share his sentiments because now that the transmission was over (for the time being), she looked very eager to go back out as there was no need for them to spend more time together than necessary.

Should he ask her if she was leaving? Well, it was quite apparent, wasn't it?

(And he hated to sound weak.)

He took his chance and decided to ask the obvious. "Are you leaving?" He saw the outlines of her thighs beneath her skirt and tried not to stare.

Raito got to her feet, stopping in surprise at his question. "Well, yes," she answered, shifting her weight uncomfortably. "I'll come back when there's more news."

"Okay." No, it was _not_ okay. And clumsily, he added, just to keep the conversation going and make her stay a little while longer, "You play great tennis." And she did. He'd never expected her to beat him.

She was surprised again. "Uh...thanks." _Why must she look so lovely?_

"I really enjoyed the game," he said to her sincerely.

"Okay." She thought about it. "Maybe we can play later," she suggested rather cautiously, as if she were unsure about it. She probably was.

"That would be nice." He found himself, just like in the old days – the early days – wanting to say more. He wanted to ask her to sit beside him a little longer. He wanted to ask himself why he'd deserted her like that. He wanted to tell her how he'd felt for two years being away from her, how he'd still kept their wedding photo and her desperate e-mails, and how he'd do just about anything to get her back.

Instead, he opted to watch her walk out that door.

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update, I've just been busy getting ahead of Nano, not to mention work. I realize that murder mysteries aren't my strongest point, so please don't take into account any discrepencies into account. I choose instead to focus on Raito and L's relationship. Hopefully I'll update more often from now on, as I'm done with my college graduation ceremony.  
Cheers and feedback is adored!


	9. Chapter 9

Nano word count: 4644  
Total word count: 37462

A/N: Actually done with Nano (but not the story), so hopefully will be posting every night :).

He's a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop  
He's a sweet talkin' sugar-coated candyman  
A sweet talkin' sugar-coated candyman  
Christina Aguilera, "Candyman"

_The carnival was alive and bustling with the noise of the crowd when Raito got there. She'd told her parents that she would be out studying late at the library, with the college entrance exams knocking on her door and while she_ had _studied for a few hours after she'd left home, common sense told her that all brilliant academics need some recreation._

And who better to recreate with than the man that she loved?

He was waiting for her a few meters away from the entrance, already with a stick of white cotton candy in one hand and tearing little bits from it with the other. There were little fuzzes of the candy stuck around his mouth, making him look like a grown man-child, and she found the sight to be unbelievably adorable.

He stopped when he saw her. She stopped, too, a glow rising in her heart and making her smile goofily.

And Raito was never goofy.

"Raito-kun," said L simply and the sound of her name sounded like the most precious thing pouring out of his lips. He took a few steps towards her, looking down at her with those wide, blue-black eyes that she'd grown to love over the months. Midnight eyes she liked to call them, but he would just stare at her blankly and ask her to stop making fun of him.

"Ryuuzaki," she breathed with a big smile.

"You made it," he stated and started having his cotton candy again.

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "You don't have to sound so surprised," she said. "I said I'd come. And judging from how attached you are," she gestured towards the white fuzziness, "I'd say you'd have a good time without me."

"Nonsense," he disagreed mildly, popping some more cotton candy into his mouth, eyes never leaving her. "I would never dishonor Raito-kun by comparing her to cotton candy."

"Oh?" she raised an eyebrow teasingly. Such things he said.

"Cotton candy melts easily in your mouth," he said innocently, oblivious to the sexual innuendo that made her blush slightly. "Raito-kun is solid and real like a...pebble."

"A pebble?" she exclaimed, surprised by his comparison. "Really, Ryuuzaki..."

"I never said I was a great poet," if he hadn't been so immersed in his candy, he would have shrugged. Then he held out the stand to her. "Would you like some?"

"You know I don't like sweets," she shook her head.

"That's too bad," he sounded upset, yet darkly happy that he had the candy all to himself now. He wasn't pretending like other people: he always showed his feelings like glee and disappointment and love.

But there were other feelings that she couldn't touch in him, fleeting emotions that he seemed to keep deliberately hidden and she didn't understand why.

"Raito-kun could do with a little bit of sugar," L said suggestively, his voice dark and rich. And just to spite him, she reached out to tear a piece from his stash and pop in her mouth, looking up at him defiantly. 

I dare you to move.

_L was startled. He stared at her for a moment, as if deciding what to do about her transgression and she was amused by how the white fuzziness about his lips looked like a beard, when Watari came walking towards them, carrying something in his hand._

Raito was pleasantly surprised. Even though by now, she should be used to him accompanying L wherever he went. "Watari-san," she greeted him with a smile.

"Yagami-kun," he smiled back. "I have the tickets," he said to L.

"Okay," L took them and turned to her. "Let's go."

It was more crowded inside the gates than she'd thought. Children were running around everywhere, accompanied by their parents and there were pop corn and cotton candy vendors almost all around. She looked at L, whose eyes shone with the bright lights from the ferris wheels and merry-go-rounds and there was this awed smile on his lips, as if he'd never seen anything like this. And she wondered, where did he come from? How did he grow up? Why did the simplest things affect him so much?

As they made their way past the crowds, some people gave them second looks, surprised, frowning at the odd couple. The shaggy, laid-back young man who looked like a lunatic and the prim-and-proper girl who shouldn't be hanging out with the likes of him in the first place. To spite them, perhaps, she reached out and took his arm possessively, staying close to L, who'd always been oblivious to what other people thought about him. His arm felt hard and firm under the cotton of his loose shirt and her bare palm. He always looked to frail, she often forgot how strong he was.

Glancing back at her, L seemed surprised by her gesture. She returned his gaze unflinchingly, refusing to let go of the arm she'd taken hostage. (She hoped he wouldn't call her an attention whore because that was not why she was doing this.)

And then he smiled at her.

"Okay," he said and they walked on. They passed various stalls, kissing booths, shooting booths, little restaurants.

"So what did you tell your parents?" he wanted to know, stopping to look at some colorful lights radiating from the merry-go-rounds, enjoying the music.

"That I was studying at the library," she replied, and then added, "which I did."

"You naughty girl," L reproached her playfully. "Playing hookie at cram school to hang out with your boyfriend. And just before your exams. You should be more careful."

Like a child, she was tempted to stick out her tongue at him. Instead she settled for a dignified "You don't need to worry about my exams. I'm sure they'll be fine."

"I don't doubt that," he answered, still smiling at her. He smiled a lot when she was around. She liked it. "I'm sure you'll make me very proud."

"I'm not studying hard to make you proud," she pointed out, fighting back a smile of her own. His glee was contagious.

He pouted then. "Raito-kun is a cruel woman not to let a man have his peace," he remarked, making her laugh. His sense of humor was unparalleled, really, with how he could say everything with a straight face, even the most ridiculous things.

He was, in short, unlike any other man she'd ever met and she had a strong feeling that she'd never bore of him.

But there was a whisper of guilt near her ears, making her wonder what her father would have to say if he learned that his eldest daughter was secretly seeing a man he'd never approve of.

Ryuuzaki isn't like other men.

_Would that argument be enough to convince her father? Would it be enough to say that she was head-over-heels in love with this stranger, this man who she virtually knew nothing about? Would it be enough to say that she couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life with anyone else?_

No, those thoughts were dangerous and far too serious but they still drifted about her head like a mist of perfume, the most genuine, romantic feeling she'd ever had.

Would her father understand? No, he's just be furious. He respected Ryuuzaki but he'd never approve of him as his daughter's boyfriend. Or a son-in-law.

They passed up a shooting ring. L stopped, attracted by the lights and noise like a moth to a flame. The lights reflected in his eyes like mirrors and together, they watched the other men shoot down the ducks moving on the wall and win teddy tears and other gifts for their girlfriends.

L was very fascinated by this. His face held a childlike glow as he eyed the moving ducks. They were all sorts of colors – blue, green, yellow.

"Do you want to try?" she suggested unobtrusively.

He was hesitant, which surprised her. "I've never been any good at shooting," he confessed.

"Come on," she urged him, gently tugging at his arm. "It's just a game. Not a competition or anything."

And that had the effect she desired because she knew how competitive he was; onyx eyes gleamed with determination as he paid for the game (it was too expensive but he didn't care) and he raised the gun, expertly pointing at the moving ducks, who he treated as his greatest nemeses.

L vs. ducks. _Raito pressed her fingers to her lips, hiding a smile._

The man at the stall stepped behind, having shown his current customer how to shoot. He was dressed in a colorful suit with a top hat, and seemed to be in his forties.

And L pulled the trigger. Raito held her breath.

He managed with expert accuracy to shoot five ducks in a row, making her mouth drop open with shock. And he'd said he wasn't good at shooting! Who the heck was he kidding?

L had a smug look on his face as he lowered the gun and then, he turned to Raito, waiting for her to praise him.

"Wow," was all she could say.

Still smug, L faced the stallkeeper, waiting for his reward. The latter gestured towards the wall on his right, "You can choose any one that you like from here."

L pressed his thumb against his upper teeth and looked closely at the array of prizes – cute, fluffy stuffed teddy bears, dogs and cats that greatly appealed to Raito. She didn't say it out loud but she was secretly hoping that he would choose one of the cats. She'd always wanted a cat of her own but her parents wouldn't allow her to have a pet. This wouldn't hurt.

Instead, L selected an almost worn-out teddy bear in the corner. The only thing that stood out about it was its startling brown fur, muddy in color. Even the stallkeeper was taken aback by his choice. Nevertheless, he handed it over and did not suggest anything else.

L took the teddy and handed it to Raito, who accepted it with some hesitation. "Uh, Ryuuzaki," she started, wondering what to say. (No, she would not say that she was disappointed by this gesture of love.)

"It reminds me of your eyes," he pointed at the brown fur, goofy all of a sudden.

She wanted to kiss him right then. She'd been such a fool to doubt his sincerity, to care about the appearance of his gift that carried so much personal meaning.

With a broad smile (her facial muscles were starting to hurt from smiling too much) and she took his arm again, once more ignoring the stares of other people. He'd won her a teddy bear and she'd taken his arm and that was a statement, a bold statement telling other young men, who were checking her out, that she was with him,_ L, the best detective in the world._

L was probably surprised again. And even if he was, he didn't show it. He was confused – rather, he looked confused. She supposed that he wasn't too used to physical contact and maybe she should stop holding his arm like that because she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. Men needed their personal space, as she'd heard from many sources and she would resent to become a clingy girlfriend and fawn over him like a...lesser woman.

They moved over to the other attractions that the children seemed to be having more fun with. Actually, most of the people here were kids, escorted by their parents, but sometimes, she spotted people of her own age. She fervently hoped that she wouldn't run into any of her classmates because Ryuuzaki would be hard to explain.

"Is this your first time in a carnival?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. Did he never have fun growing up?

"Do you like it?" she inquired, already guessing what his answer would be.

"Very much."

Among all the attractions they had seen, from taking you weight to a stand of honeyed pop corn (L just had to help himself to that), the ferris wheel was the most fascinating one. She was the one to suggest that they take a ride on it. There was something very irresistible about sitting several feet above the ground and looking at the stars in the sky with the love of your life.

L was game. He paid the operator and they took a seat in one of the booths, Raito keeping the teddy bear close to her, awaiting the ride with anticipation.

"You ever been on one of these before?" L asked with wide-eyed excitement.

"When I was a kid," she smiled. "I can't say I liked it very much."

He titled his head. "How come?"

"Guess I was just nervous," she shrugged, and wondered when the ride would start.

"Are you nervously now?" he asked, watching her intently.

Sometimes his gaze just pierced her, leaving her speechless for an instant. "No."

The ride began. As the wheel turned, rising higher in the air, she gripped the handle to keep her balance since the booth was shaking a bit. L wasn't daunted at all; he appeared to be absolutely comfortable, even in awe, of how everything worked.

"Amazing," he said under his breath.

The wheel turned slowly until they were right on the top, the night sky above their heads. Raito dared a look below and become anxious to see how far down the ground was. The other passengers were delighted, though, and so was L.

"Woah," he breathed.

Raito followed his gaze and raised his face to look at the sky. The stars were painted over it just like millions of tiny twinkling diamonds, taking her breath away.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she remarked, moved by the sight.

L took a moment to reply. "Yes," he agreed softly.

She thought at first that he was too immersed in looking at the stars, but when she glanced at him, she was amazed to find him looking into her eyes, quietly, intensely.

For a moment, the whole word went silent, as if someone had flicked a switch and it no longer existed. They were here, alone, together, under the beauty of the stars and they had no other worries.

Only each other.

She held her breath as she saw L's arm coming around her shoulders – such a common, cheesy move but it now meant the world to her, making her feel safe as the hardness of his bone touched her skin.

She sighed sweetly and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder, his lip pressing affectionately against her brown hair.

Together, they sat back and gazed at the stars, not speaking a word, letting the silence say everything they wanted to say to each other.

Beside Raito's hand, the teddy bear's black marble eyes gleamed.

* * *

The teddy bear was staring up at Raito unblinkingly from the piles of clothes in her suitcase.

She had no idea who'd put it there. Neither Mrs. Yagami nor Sayu knew about the stuffed toy since she'd kept it hidden away into the pitless depths of her closet at home. But now, it seemed to have magically traveled thousands of miles, finding its place among her belongings in a foreign land like it had always been there.

_Definitely Sayu_, she decided with a roll of her eyes.

Raito wasn't sure why she'd kept the teddy bear, the same way she wasn't sure why she'd kept the wedding ring. On the outside, she pretended to the whole world (not that the whole world knew anything) that she was over that bastard and she'd removed all traces of his existence from her. On the inside, it was a different story; she'd hidden him away like something precious, meant only for her eyes.

With a deep breath, she reached down and picked up the toy. It smelled old, more faded than it was when L had first given it to her. But its fur was still cinnamon and she had to agree that it matched the color of her eyes.

Well, no one had said that L had crappy powers of deduction.

It was his emotional intelligence that sucked.

Even the eyes were still firmly in place, black and shiny, yet not-seeing. Just like L.

The last couple of days had been cool between them; they'd barely spoken and she preferred to be on her own. In her spare time, she worried her lip over the case, read sent medium-length e-mails to Misa and phoned her family when she got the chance.

Mrs. Yagami was interested to hear about the beauty of Winchester, which she was glad enough to describe, taking care of leave out details about Wammy's House to protect its and her husband's (heh, husband) privacy. Sayu, as predicted, was more interested to hear about how things had been going between her and her husband. Oh, and did she get a chance to wear that dress?

Raito decided not to answer that question since she wasn't sure she liked the idea of L fawning over her body. And she didn't think he was capable of feelings like that. Anyway.

Surprisingly, Mr. Yagami was interesting to hear about the case.

"How's that going?" he asked. "Do you have any leads?"

Raito could picture her father's grip on the receiver, his eyes serious behind his glasses, lips grim beneath his mustache.

"It's going," she said carefully. "We have some leads but I don't think I'm at liberty to talk about them."

"I understand," said her father. After a moment's hesitation, he asked quietly, "Does Ryuuzaki talk to you?"

She hadn't seen that question coming. Her father had never asked anything about how she and L got along. What was he thinking of?

"Yeah," she answered. "He talks to me."

"What does he say?" her father surprised her even more.

"Well," she hesitated. "We talk mostly about the case."

"And at other times?"

"We don't...see much of each other at other times." Well, it was half-true since there was no point talking to L outside work.

Wait...her father wasn't entertaining hopes of them getting back together, was he?

Now that she was in her room, listening to the laughter outside in the playground, she wondered again how this had happened. Even when she'd been with L, she was always independent of him, always had her own mind, let him that she didn't need him for anything.

(Well, she had _needed_ him but she would never admit it.)

Now she was in his house on his terms and she felt trapped sometimes by a man who was legally her husband and yet, she knew next to nothing about him. Sometimes, she had nightmares of the case being solved, but L still wouldn't give her the divorce, demanding that she live here and solve cases with him for the rest of her life.

Wammy's House was an enchanted castle in a fairytale, she was the princess trapped inside it and L was the beast holding her prisoner.

All right, she wouldn't go as far to call him a beast since he did treat her decently, but he was no Prince Charming either. She would have to go to his study from time to time, sit with him on the floor and make case notes together as though they were study partners. It would make her feel very uncomfortable sometimes when he stared at her or their hands would brush together. It stabbed her like a knife through the heart because she would be reminded of how their hands would touch when they'd fallen in love, and how different these circumstances were.

What did L make of the matter?

She smirked: certainly nothing. L was fine as long as he had his work and his sweets (and his porn). Yes, he must be so into watching other people have sex that he couldn't muster up the desire for his own wife on their wedding night.

Hmm, maybe he was impotent.

Alone in her room, Raito burst out laughing.

* * *

She decided to take a walk downstairs. It was better than being crammed in her room and wondering that the next bad news would be. She'd seen a bench spotted on the far end of the playground, where she could get some privacy away from the noise. She'd sit in the corner with a cup of coffee and watch the world go by.

To her surprise, L was crouching on the bench, like a bird, intently watching the children play tag. He registered her presence without so much as blink or nod and for a moment, she considered finding another place to sit.

And then L said quietly, "Sit down."

Raito sat.

She tried to be comfortable being near him, her eyes lingering on his arms, shoulders and neck (oh, he'd always loved it whenever she'd kiss his neck) and though they sat side-by-side, she understood what a great distance had grown between them.

Before she could say anything, he spoke: "There's no news about the murderer."

She blinked at him. "That's not what I was going to say."

"Really?" L quirked an eyebrow.

She was silent. She didn't know why he was so antagonistic.

"How's it going with you?" he asked as if he were talking to a stranger.

"It's fine," she said, exhausted by the no-leads.

"Did you talk to your family?" he asked politely.

"Yeah." She was actually getting sick of this fake show of courtesy. Who did he think he was fooling by acting like he cared about his in-laws?

"I trust you didn't tell them about Wammy's House?"

She scoffed at the question. "Of course not, Ryuuzaki. I'm not a chatterbox." He should've known better than to her ask her something like that.

He looked a little embarrassed. "And how is your friend Misa?"

She felt a cut of jealousy right then. Such a dirty trick to use her best friend to get to her. Then again, nothing was below L when he wanted to get his own way.

She supposed that they weren't very different after all.

"She's fine," she tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice. "Busy with her features and photo shoots."

"Ah," L's ears perked at that. "Please inform her that I'm eagerly awaiting the next issue of Eighteen."

Raito gritted her teeth. "I'm sure she'll be very happy to know that," she said tightly. She wanted to wipe that smirk off of his stupid face.

"Does your father ever talk about me?" he inquired out of the blue.

She whipped her head to look at him in disbelief. What on earth was this guy getting at?

"Not really," she replied grudgingly. And as an afterthought she added, "Sometimes."

"Okay," said Ryuuzaki. "What does he say?"

She narrowed her eyes with contained rage. "The world doesn't revolve around you, Ryuuzaki," she answered bitingly.

His face fell like a dark cloud. "No," he concurred. "I guess not.

They didn't talk for a while. It wasn't like she wanted to be rude to him but some of the things that came out of his mouth just made her blood boil.

But Raito was a good, kind girl at heart who never wanted to hurt anyone, even if that someone was annoying as L.

"I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki," she said without looking at him. She chose to focus on the children. "But...some of the things you say really get under my nerves."

He was understanding. "I'm sorry, too, Raito-kun. I didn't mean to irritate you."

"Yeah." Raito was once again astonished because it wasn't like L to apologize. He was too arrogant to do that, the sore loser.

_Well, you're a sore loser, too,_ said a nagging voice in her head.

_Shut up._

What pricked her the most as of late was that these days, it looked like Ryuuzaki was trying to tell her something. She'd deliberately kept a distance from him because she was not going to let that bastard poison her mind in any manner.

If she'd been this firm in the beginning, clear about her aims and principles, she could have avoided this plight today.

Now she looked at Ryuuzaki, recalled their wedding and wondered, _What was I thinking?_

"I think," she found herself saying, "that I would like to go and see what Winchester is like."

It was L's turn to be surprised. He pushed a bony thumb against the corner of his mouth, eyeing her with intrigue. "You want to go sightseeing?"

"Why not?" she leaned back. "I've been here almost a week. I'd love to see what this beautiful city looks like. And there are some things that I need to get."

"Watari could get you whatever you needed if you just gave him a list," suggested L.

She shook her head. "I don't want Watari to do anything for me," she refused. "It's not fair to make him work like a servant."

It was directed but L but it simply flew right over his head. Hooray autism.

"Well, I can't let you go on your own," he informed her.

A rebellious streak awoke in her. "Why not?"

"It's too dangerous," he responded calmly.

Brown eyes flashed. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

"I don't doubt that you can, Raito-kun," he reasoned. "But I feel responsible for you and I don't want to be the one to give your father any bad news about you."

She couldn't suppress a childish snort. "If you felt so 'responsible' for me," she bit out, "you should have left me responsibly." She scowled. "And don't worry about telling my father anything: if it makes you feel so bad, you can just make Watari do it."

"I never make Watari do personal things for me," he pointed out somewhat icily.

"Well, that's too bad," she rejoined coldly. "If you did, then I'm sure he would've told me when you left."

Tension rose about them like a heavy fog. L was momentarily speechless by her retort and Raito was filled with self-satisfaction that she'd managed to get back at him for what he'd done to her.

At last, L conceded. "It is one thing to be an ex-husband," he uttered slowly. "And another thing to be a widower."

I didn't think you'd notice the difference," her lips curled in a little sneer.

He was shocked. "I'm not made of stone, Raito-kun." He sounded hurt but she knew better than to buy his I'm-hurt act.

"Could've fooled me," she mumbled.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to you." L shifted his weight uneasily even in his crouching position.

"I think you've done more to me than our killer ever would."

That shut him up for good. She folded her arms across her chest and crossed her legs, daring him to say something but he was silent.

A part of her desperately wanted him to make a come-back to defend himself and tell her why he'd deserted her, not bothering to contact her at all when she'd been desperately trying to reach him. But every time she brought it up, he'd just close up like an oyster.

What pearl of a secret was he hiding? Or was the oyster simply empty?

L quietly put down his feet and slipped on his sneakers. Pushing his hands into his pockets, he walked back into the building, head hanging, shoulder slouched, dejected.

A few moments later, Raito left, too.

A/N: Raito and L are still being snippy. If you ask me, they seriously need to make out ;).  
Now about L's POV in the last chapter, it was written to give this fic some variety...sometimes, it's helpful to shift perspectives to see where the story is going... And yes, L is confused about his own emotions for Raito...I suppose he just got scared or frustrated and decided to break contact with her out of spite, like a child would.  
As for my Nano, I finished it last night! 50489 words in 21 days! I'm so happy :D. The novel isn't over yet, though; you could say it's halfway through ;). I'm glad I could do Nano because I can write some other oneshots now so if you like genderswitch, keep an eye out for those ;).  
Feedback is lovely :).

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

SOS

Please someone help me  
It's not healthy to feel way  
Y.O.U. are making this hard  
You got me tossin' and turnin'  
I can't sleep at night  
Rhianna, "SOS" 

L was not a man to let his emotions get the best of him. He rarely become angry and when he did, he never raised his voice. He prided himself on his ability to keep his cool under the most trying circumstances and that was how, through logical thinking and patience, he had gained the title of the Best of the Best.

However, when he was with Raito, he became a different man. His passions got the better of him. He was prone to picking fights, losing his temper and letting his feelings run away with him. It wasn't like he _wanted_ to antagonize her but she set something aflame in him, something that he was afraid of, something that he didn't want to be controlled by.

It was just like back _then_, when he'd fallen madly in love with the police chief's daughter and actually _married_ her (L? Married? Those two words should never be said in the same sentence.). Even now, he had no idea what had possessed him to do that. He'd never been carried away by emotions, always keeping a clear focus on his goals. So what was it about Raito that made him like this?

Well, there was an answer to that but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. He didn't even think he was ready to deal with that _again_ because of the pain he'd kept bottled inside for years. He had always considered himself a fair man in his dealings with others, even though he was willing to go to extreme lengths for the sake of justice. Whenever someone said something to him, he always knew what to answer back just to make them shut up.

But in this case, it was vice versa. He knew he'd wronged Raito and whenever she brought it up, he had nothing to say to defend himself.

_Guess I'm not used to having someone to answer to_, he mused darkly. Hunched forward, he slowly walked across the hall, the sunlight pouring in through the full-length windows, illuminating his surroundings. Here was Wammy's House, the place where he'd grown up, the place that he called home. He'd decided to bring Raito to this 'sanctuary' as a truce because she used to needle him a lot about his background, ask him questions that he would skillfully avoid. And now, while she was impressed with the orphanage, she didn't ask him much about how he came to be here, about his life before her, never wanted to know the actual details.

Then again, he couldn't blame her for that. He'd blown her off two years ago in the most inhuman way capable and he'd be a fool for expecting her to act like nothing had happened.

But then, despite his reluctance to admit it, he'd always been a fool for Raito. Ever since the day he laid eyes on her in her school, delivering a passionate speech about the flaws in the Japanese judiciary system, L had been totally smitten with the young woman.

How unlike him. L, who had always been a loner, known among his trusted associates, i.e. Watari and Roger, had fallen deeply in love with a seventeen-year-old high school senior and married her in secret soon after she'd turned eighteen. Not exactly what he'd planned when he had gone to Japan to solve that case but he supposed that he'd been on a sugar rush that had nothing to do with actual sugar, only the sweet taste of Raito's lips, and he'd gotten carried away by such a new experience.

And L was never one to get carried away.

Perhaps that was why he resented her and she resented him, because they both blamed each other for something uncharacteristic they did.

It was so easy to blame other people for something you did on your own. L was more than familiar with criminals who placed the blame on outside sources for their own misdeeds but he'd never imagined that he would fall into that category.

Yet another reason to pick on Raito.

_I should stop doing that,_ he reprimanded himself. After all, he was the guilty one, not her. He was older of the two and therefore, he should have been more understanding. She was his wife, not a criminal, and he shouldn't have taken such harsh steps just to get back at her for their argument just before he left.

That was it. From now on, he would avoid all personal conversation with Raito. God, he shouldn't even talk to her unless he had something to say about their case, the most important thing, because he didn't think he could keep standing it if she kept throwing that (and with all good reason) at his face each time she got a chance.

Now, now, he couldn't make her the scrape goat because he'd done a fair share of egging her on. Raito was a wonderful woman, he'd never change his mind about that. She would never be mean to someone unnecessarily. In fact, he didn't even think that she had it in her to be mean but what he had done to her...he deserved her meanness and so much more.

Absently, he saw one of the maids pass by, busily cleaning up the sprawled toys on the floor. It must have been Near. He'd told that boy many times that he should keep his Lego and puzzles in his room, but Near would get distracted and bring them outside and create a mess for everyone. Once, L had sprained his ankle on a runaway truck on the floor, and stayed in bed for a week.

Well, at least, he noticed, there were no toy trucks or cars on the loose this time.

The maid saw him and nodded and greeting, keeping her head down in respect. He nodded back. Funny what the staff thought of him – some kind of rich weirdo who didn't get out in the light often.

And what got to him the most was that Raito appeared to think he was some kind of monster, that he didn't give a damn about her, and while she had an excellent reason to think that, it hurt him because he really did care and he didn't want any harm to befall her.

He had started to climb up the stairs when he heard the door fling open behind him and the sound of hurried footsteps, the clicking of familiar heels, quickly catch up with him.

He didn't need to look over his shoulder to know that it was Raito.

"Hey," she said, following him. "Ryuuzaki. Don't you dare walk away from me."

"Is there something you wanted to say to me?" he inquired with a drawl, not bothering to stop and look at her until he reached the top of the stairs. She followed him all the way with determination.

"Don't you dare pretend that everything's okay," her eyes flashed with rage. "I hate you playing some kind of martyr every time I bring _that_ up. I think it's time you gave me some answers."

L gave her a bored look. "Answers?" he echoed in disbelief as he turned around to catch her eyes. "When you agreed to come here and work with me, I did not arrange to give you any 'answers'. If you're so curious, I suggest you ask Watari since you seem to give more value to his word than mine."

She opened her mouth to protest but he got there first. "I never claimed that things were all right," he went on. "This may come as quite a shock to Raito-kun but between the two of us, I am too old for games of pretend."

Brown eyes widened with incredulity. "Pretend?" she exclaimed. "Who's playing pretend? You're the one who goes around under thirty-thousand aliases and you think that I'm playing pretend?"

"Yet I'm more than honest with myself, and the things that I want," L chided, forgetting what he'd been musing of earlier. "I conduct my behavior accordingly, and I don't delude myself about it."

"Delude yourself?" she was getting more furious every minute. "So you think that you owe honesty only to yourself and hence, you can do anything you like to others? And you think that _I'm_ deluded?" She scoffed at this.

"Delusion suits you better, doesn't it? " L said it thoughtfully, as though he were analyzing criminal behavior as part of an intricate puzzle. "As for me, I am very clear with myself in what I want, and as for others, I only say what needs to be said. I do not complicate things unnecessarily."

"Oh, is that so?" she retorted, momentarily taking a step back to regard him fully. "So you think that you didn't need to say anything to me when you walked out on me? You were always so...full of _crap_," she spat the word out, "saying that you'd always be there for me, and that you cared and that was how you showed it?" She took a deep breath. "And you bastard, for all your honesty, I know you don't give the damn about Misa so there's no need to talk about her and ask for her autograph or about the next issue of the God damn magazine because that is so _mature_, Ryuuzaki." She narrowed those beautiful almond-shaped eyes, peering at him.

"Is Raito-kun again trying to indirectly imply something?" L asked. "Yes, I do think she should try blunt honesty instead, she was so good at it a few minutes ago."

"I bet you were with other women," she continued venomously, taking his advice. "With all your goofiness, I wouldn't find it hard to belief if you'd managed to seduce someone else and then leave her without a word."

L stared at her blankly, his mouth slightly agape. His wide eyes blinked and he had nothing to say; yet the look on his face was perhaps stricken disbelief.

The idea of any other woman after he had been with Raito was ludicrous. Completely absurd. L stared at Raito, her eyes so fiery and fierce, her face with the commanding presence of a warrior, fueled all by her own passion and determination in everything she said and did. To think that there would ever be anyone like Raito, anyone that could ever radiate with such intensity as she... L found himself in a rare circumstance where not even he could find words to reply.

Raito glared at him, her hands clenched in fists. "Don't play dumb with me, you bastard," she threatened in a low voice. "You took off without a word. Just like that. Only because we had one stupid fight. The only rational conclusion one can draw that you had another woman on mind and that's why you never wanted me."

L was quiet, and not for the first time, that night replayed in his head. The night he had rejected her - he couldn't go through with it then. The look on her face that night, the confusion and hurt was something that she had been quick to hide. As intelligent as she was, she drew all the wrong conclusions, and L was overcome with the familiar and lonely feeling that he was the only one in the world who knew the truth. "Words are a tool of communication," he finally said. "But actions are also a tool of communication."

Raito's widened in astonishment and anger when she heard those words. He already knew that she was getting the wrong idea because he hadn't meant it _that_ way but she was thinking that he was referring to their separation.

_Why are you so dense?_

The hand came flying through the air, toward his face - all of Raito's frustrations gathered at her palm, and in her eyes there was obviously one thing one her mind: deliverance of justice. But there was no justice in ignorance, and L was a meticulous detective. As the hand was only a short distance away from connecting with his cheek, he reacted with lightning reflex. His arm shot up and his fingers grabbed hold of her wrist. He redirected the inertia by pulling her forward by the arm, and there was only a brief second where he saw the look of surprise and anger on her face when like gravity, his lips collided against her own.

L registered her muffled _omph_, the sudden tightening of her body at the unexpected proximity, growing rigid like a bow. His hands moved around her on their own accord, pulling her close to him, arms moving around her slender back, holding her strongly. Her mouth had been open from the surprise and he took full advantage to plunder it, his tongue slipping past her soft lips to taste that warm sweetness – oh, it had been so long since he'd had this!

He felt Raito's hands tighten against his chest and he held her and kissed her, drowning her scent, her softness. Everything that was her intoxicated him like a drug and he wasn't sure that he wanted to go to rehab.

She didn't struggle against him. Just stood there in mute stupor as his palms pressed against her back, urging her even closer, deepening the kiss, willing them both to forget everything else.

But reality came knocking on the door soon and while L considered himself to be very realistic, he wasn't sure that he wanted to be pulled away from this sweetness, where he could pretend that things were all right and their fight had been over something very trivial.

Raito was the first one to pull back from the kiss and turn her from him, trying to push L away. It took a moment for him to snap out of that dazed stupor, the silliness of wondering where her lips had gone, why they weren't touching his because it had felt so perfect.

_Cursed reality._

"W-what are you doing?" she stuttered, still shocked from the kiss, breaking away from his embrace, filling him with sudden emptiness.

L looked down at her with what he hoped was calmness. "I was kissing you: that much is in your intellectual capabilities to deduce."

Raito stared at him dumbly as if her brain was too muddled up to say something logical, and L suddenly felt very much on the spotlight. He wanted to scratch his head and slink back into the shadows but his feet were glued on the floor and his hands would rather touch her than touch himself.

He watched her as her fingers came up to press against her mouth, which was still swollen from his kiss, red and glistening like a ripe plum, and he felt the heat rising to his face. Which was disturbing because he never blushed.

She swallowed. He watched the movement of her slender throat with fascination. He'd always loved her neck, it was long and graceful like a swan's, every bit her –

"Ah, Ryuuzaki," Roger's voice sounded down the corridor. They both turned to find him approaching them with a pleased smile on his face. He was dressed in his usual tweed suit, not feeling the heat.

"I'm glad I found you," he said to L after he'd nodded a little greeting to Raito. "There's something very important that I need to discuss with you. If we could have a word in private..."

"Of course," L conceded, allowing himself to be led away by the older man. When he looked over his shoulder, Raito's back was already turned as she headed towards her room, her steps hurried as if she couldn't wait to get away from him.

* * *

How had this happened? 

Raito's brain was still muddled up when she reached her room, softly closing the door behind her. The past few moments still felt like a dream.

And a very disturbing one at that.

Shaking, she sat beside the bed, her face contorted in an expression of disbelief, eyes pained, forehead wrinkled, hands slightly shaking.

L had kissed her.

_L had kissed her._

Numbly, she reached out and took a pillow, pressing it against her breast as a means of support but she found no comfort therein, and wished that she had someone to talk to.

No. No, it was better this way; it was better that she was alone because she didn't trust her mouth not to say the wrong things.

Oh, she'd always thought she could get control of a situation with her logical thinking, analyzing various pieces of information pertaining to the circumstances, and come out victorious, but what had taken place just minutes ago went over her head – she could not believe it had happened.

L had kissed her. With tongue.

She moistened her lips, her mouth still feeling like it had a foreign object but one that she wasn't sure she wanted to get rid of.

_No, that's forbidden territory, don't go there_.

She had no idea how it had happened. No, wait, she did.

They'd been fighting and he was being a real bastard and she'd raised her hand to slap him, like he deserved to be, and then he'd pulled her into his arms and kissed her like he was some kind of hero from a cheap romance novel.

(Well, she didn't have much to say to defend herself since she was acting pretty irrationally, too.)

Her mind replayed the kiss over and over, outlining the details even when she kept telling herself to stop it but her mind had yet another mind of its own. Still shaking, she moved to lie back against her pillows and stare up at the blank ceiling emptily, her mouth still tasting of…L.

When was the last time he'd kissed her?

Years ago, when they'd had their first (and last) serious argument shortly after their runaway wedding. She told him that she had been waiting for_this_ all her life, saving herself so that she could enjoy such pleasures with the man she wanted to grow old with. (Oh, how young and foolish she'd been.) She remembered embracing him, kissing him, urging sweetly to take what she felt was rightfully his, she'd been so _willing_.

And he'd refused her right to her face.

Raito had never had a man refuse her so directly.

True, she had never been with too many men, and never intimately, but she could name at least fifteen male classmates who would give anything just to be with her.'

But L had blown her off in the coldest way imaginable, and also, with lamest excuse – that everything was going too fast, she was too young and they should wait for the right time.

Now Raito was a reasonable young woman, more reasonable most of her peers. But even she, being a genius, had not been able to fathom what time could be more perfect than their wedding night.

Certainly, it hadn't been _immediately_ after her wedding, just a few days later, but why had he refused her? What made him want to wait longer? They'd already been seeing each other for months, wasn't it time to let out those feelings? In a marriage bed?

But Raito had soon found out that there was no 'marriage bed' (she sneered at those words) and the only reason why L had wedded her in the first place was so that she could help him in his detective work, making that her _raison d'être_.

Everything had come crashing down like glass walls around her the day she'd learned he'd gone back to England without letting her know. Ryuuzaki was a liar, he was selfish and she should never have given her heart to him so trustingly. She actually used to think that she was a good judge of character but L had changed all that.

And now, he'd kissed her.

Her treacherous heart had already begun to betray her as she felt the resurfacing of old feelings. She shut her eyes and shook her head to clear it. If only she could shake her heart like that.

No, she would not – could not allow Ryuuzaki to make a fool out of her again with his innocent looks and passionate (she hated to use that adjective) kisses, and she would most certainly not allow him to keep her with him through emotional manipulation and lies.

(But she'd missed his kisses.)

_Absolutely not!_

(She'd missed the familiarity of his slender hands touching her like he'd touched her so many times before; his soft, flat fingertips pressing against her back like cat-paws, his mouth hot and moist to her own, his arms strong and crushing…)

Oh, dear, she was thinking like a romance heroine, wasn't she?

No. This had to stop. She could not let this go further from a kiss, a kiss that shouldn't have happened in the first place. She had to end it right now before things got any worse, before they reached a point where she wouldn't be able to handle them…or be sure if she did want to handle them. Like an honorable person, she would live up to her end of the deal and demand that he live up to his, and that was all she could ask for. And soon after, they would part and go their separate ways.

L had kissed her in front of the stairs passionately.

And no matter how hard Raito tried, it was one image, one feeling that refused to leave her for the rest of the day.

At least for the next fifteen minutes when she received some distressing news.

* * *

L had always been someone who could concentrate on something with all his mind but right now, his thoughts were wandering in the direction of a fiery brunette just a few rooms away. He crouched before Roger at his desk, half-listening to the expense charts and budget control and something about the new instructors that they needed. At another time, L would have been more than happy to give Roger his full attention but right now, he was more interested in Raito and what had happened between them. 

He didn't know what had possessed him to grab her like that and kiss her. He was normally not a forceful person and he certainly didn't go around showering people with kisses, especially if those people were Raito. But when she was around...she brought something out of him, an animal waiting to break free.

(And mate.)

(And no, he was not going in there.)

The taste of her still lingered about him. He could still smell her perfume, something so subtle and sweet, dreamlike and sharp, contradicting each other, making sense and not making sense.

He was itching to leave the room and take a walk in the topmost floor, away from all these business matters and distractions, be left alone with time to think, about his actions about Raito.

"Are you listening, L?" Roger asked, perhaps feeling stupid that while he was talking away, L wasn't really listening to anything that he said.

"Yes," said L, and then he felt a little guilty. _Concentrate on Wammy's House, forget Raito. She doesn't matter to you anyway._

Yes, that was right. He had a future in Wammy's House. He had a responsibility in the upbringing of the orphanage so that he could choose the worthiest among them to succeed his title.

"You seem to be awfully distracted about something." Roger frowned and pressed his fingertips together.

L blinked. "Something?" he echoed.

"I saw you with Ms. Yagami," Roger confessed, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

L suddenly felt like a child before a concerned principal. "No," he drew his knees closer to himself and looked away at the carpet.

Roger sighed. L knew that sigh. It was something he was used to hearing from the older man when he had been troublesome as a child.

"I don't know much about your history with Ms. Yagami," Roger leaned back, not taking his eyes off of L. "All I know is what you told me when you came back from Japan."

"There's nothing much to tell, Roger-san," L replied. "Yagami-kun and I don't have much of a history."

"Then what point was there in talking to her now?" Roger pressed. It wasn't like him to question L but L guessed that this whole situation with Raito was bothering him, too. "You could have ended things two years ago. Why did you leave it hanging for so long?"

The question disturbed L. It would be a lie to say that he'd never given it much thought over the past two years. The thought had crossed his mind several times when he would see his inbox flooded with her e-mails but he still didn't know what had made him keep her hanging like that. He could say that it was a punishment to teach her a lesson but that was far too cruel, especially when he had to admit that she had done nothing to deserve such a fate.

L would never confide this in anyone but the guilt still plagued him like a swarm of locusts, the pain she must have felt, all the tears she must have cried.

And his conscience demanded, _How could you have done this to her?_

So, he hid his guilt under a mask of indifference and cool insults just to show her that he didn't care, that the guilt didn't hurt him.

But what did it mean in the end of the day? What was he going to get out of it?

He wondered what she was thinking in her room. Was she as confused as he was? Was she raking through her brain, searching for endless explanations on why he'd kissed, each more undesirable than the last? What was the conclusion that she would finally reach?

Ah, yes. Naturally, she would think that he kissed her only to manipulate her, show her who was boss, and that wasn't true. But L didn't know what was true because he himself wasn't sure why he'd kissed her.

So unlikely of him to do things without thinking them over. (Usually, he'd spend a considerable amount of time planning something.) What had gotten into him?

(_Raito_.)

(_No way_.)

"Have you tried talking to her?" Roger asked gently.

L blinked again, confused by the question. "About what?" And why was Roger acting like the responsible guardian all of a sudden?

"About _this_," Roger made a gesture to encompass everything between L and Raito.

The younger man felt depressed. "There's nothing much to talk about. We have an agreement to work on the case, solve it, and then dissolve our marriage."

"You don't think there's hope of any salvage?"

Now that astonished L. He stared questioningly at Roger. "It was over two years ago," he pointed out.

"Yet you seem to be more self-conscious when she's around," Roger reasoned, his blue eyes piercing. L didn't like feeling so exposed. "And you never care about what other people think of you."

Well, that was true. But L didn't want to talk about it. He pouted and averted his gaze. "I have no wish to continue this conversation."

Roger sighed again and rubbed his eyes as though dealing with L was a very tiring experience. "As you wish, Ryuuzaki," he conceded with a nod. "But – "

Before he could finish the sentence, there was a loud rapping on the door, and before either of them could ask the person to come in, Raito opened the door, her brown eyes wide and frantic.

"We can't find one of the children," she cried.

A/N: Woo hoo! They finally kissed! I hope things aren't going too fast but I don't want the fic to become stagnant so I'm moving some things along :). I'm sorry if there are typos - I do try my best to edit my work but I still miss things :(.

Thanks to Serria for roleplaying with me on this chapter:). And as for uke!Raito...well, to be honest, I myself have always preferred a dominant Raito and this is the first time I'm writing him as a girl.

sigh I've been busy with work, and then my paid account is expiring tomorrow, so I'm back to 6 icons again :(:(. Anyhow, thanks for the comments!


	11. Chapter 11

L had never been so tense in his life.

He was standing in the playground, looking around him frantically, searching for clues of any kind. His heart had almost literally leapt into his mouth when Raito rushed in to say that one of the children couldn't be found, and even now, he found it hard to accept.

Roger had already ordered the guards to search the premises for the missing child, find a way that he or she could have run off but so far, there were no results.

L saw Raito standing a few feet away from him with some of the other caretakers, gathering the panicked children and leading them into the building.

"Take them inside," he'd ordered.

Wammy's House had always been a sanctuary. Only authorized people were allowed to enter so as not to hamper the children's upbringing anyway. The only way a child could go missing was that if he was playing hide-and-seek.

Or wandered off on his own.

He considered that but no, that wasn't possible, either. Wammy's House was closely guarded and the premises were constantly under surveillance, both by cameras and security guards.

And there was a third possibility but he prayed fervently that it was not so, that the child was just playing hide-n-seek.

Roger was standing beside him, features tense with worry. In all the years that they had been in Wammy's House, neither had encountered a situation like this.

"This is unimaginable," Roger said.

L was inclined to agree. He spotted the security guards approaching them, having returned from their search of the premises and Roger stepped forward to talk to them. L, on the other hand, felt his heart sink when he noticed that they had returned empty-handed.

"What news?" Roger wanted to know.

The security guard who answered mirrored his anxiety. "We found nothing."

"Nothing?" Roger paled, sounding confused.

"Yes, Sir," the guard affirmed. "We searched the whole place and there's no sign of a forceful entry or a breakout."

L spoke up then. "Bring me all the surveillance tapes," he ordered. "And the records of every employee entering and leaving in the last one hour."

"Yes, Sir," the security guard nodded and left with his colleagues to do what he'd been told..

L started to chew on his hangnail, a habit he'd retained over the years as an outlet for his worry.

Watari came to him right, forehead wrinkled, looking older than he usually did.

L shook his head in dismay. "None," he answered. "I'm going to take a look at the security tapes." He saw the sun setting in the horizon, announcing the end of the day in red blue and purple, and he wondered what had happened to the child.

"Do you think it's a kidnapping, Ryuuzaki?" asked the older man. Was he wringing his hands?

"Logically, that would be impossible," L said, considering the thought. "But we can't rule out any possibility. The only way anyone could get in was if they were allowed to." He looked over his shoulder to find Raito ushering the last of the children inside, looking very worried. As soon as they were in, she stopped and meet his eyes.

"Are you guys coming?" she wanted to know.

It was the first time they'd spoken since their kiss and while L would have liked to dwell on that, he now had more important things on his plate.

"In a moment," he answered. He had to ask the other children some questions. So far, the only thing he knew was that the missing child was a boy named Jake and he was nine-years-old. He preferred not to get emotionally involved in his cases but this was one situation that left him with no choice. While on the outside, he seemed laid-back, he really did feel responsible for the children's well-being, and he didn't know how he would handle it if something had happened to Jake.

His heart clenched at the thought of what that happened to the child by now.

"Okay," Raito nodded, closing the door.

It was then that Watari, in the presence of Roger, who knew about everything, dared to ask the question that L did not.

"Do you think it's him?"

It was L's turn to become pale and feel his heart stop. He didn't want to admit it, but sometimes he did think…that it was…

_Memories from long ago, a raven-haired, competitive boy, avowing to become the best…_

L looked at Roger and Watari. "I hope not," he replied truthfully. He tilted up his head and saw the sudden gathering of dark clouds blanketing the sky, shielding the beautiful colors of the sunset. And he was left with a really bad feeling about this.

Raito leaned against the glass wall and looked at the pouring rain outside. It was harsh and relentless, so sudden when the weather had been sunny and pleasant just minutes ago. She rubbed her arms for warmth, her fingers brushing back the hair that had stood up in the cold. Behind her, the children were huddled on the floor fretfully, wondering what had happened to their playmate. It broke her heard to see some of them crying. She felt so sorry for them because they'd already faced one trauma by losing their parents, and she didn't want them to go through more hardship.

"It's okay," she knelt beside the children, addressing them in a kind voice, patting them on the back and stroking their hair. "Don't cry. Everything was going to be all right."

But they were just empty words that came automatically, and she herself didn't even know if things were indeed going to be all right.

Where on earth was L?

She felt frustrated being in the dark and knowing nothing when L was the one holding all the cards and she desperately needed answers if she was going to do something to help the situation.

There was a sudden knock at the door. Startled, Raito spun around to find L standing at the doorway in his usual casual posture, his face expressionless.

"I need to ask the children some questions," he explained, stepping inside.

"Of course," she nodded, feeling slightly annoyed that he was treating her like she was in charge of things. Then again, she was grateful for the chance to get some information that would quickly help them solve the puzzle.

The children, who had been whispering to one another, immediately fell silent as L entered the room and approached them. The ones who had been crying quickly wiped their eyes.

L stood before them, looking at their faces as if wondering how to deal with them. She knew that many of these children were not acquainted with them, but judging from the expressions on their little faces, they had already deduced that he was someone important and he had come here to help them.

Why did that make her feel warm all of a sudden?

And then, L crouched on the ground, in perfect imitation of the children, and his thumb found its way to the corner of his mouth, face adopting a thoughtful outlook.

Ah, Raito thought with some amusement. _Getting down to their level. Interesting._

Not that L had ever acted "grown-up" in its conventional sense.

"Who were with Jake when he disappeared?" he asked.

After some hesitation, three children raised their hand and exchanged fearful looks, wondering if they were in trouble.

"Where did you last see him?" L questioned.

"Well," said one of the kids when they'd put down their hands. "We were playing hide-n-seek like we always do. Jake was supposed to come find us but we waited for a long time. He never showed up."

"All right," said L. "When Jake was hiding, was there a special place he liked to go?"

"He always liked to hide behind the rose bushes on the east," said a little blonde girl. "Just beside the swimming pool."

L appeared to be disturbed by this information. Had the child drowned?

_I hope not,_ thought Raito, and bit her lip.

And before she could stop herself and before L could speak, the question escaped her mouth:

"Did any of you see any odd guys around?"

L turned his eye to look at her. She wondered if she'd asked something ridiculous but something told her that he also thought it could be a kidnapping.

The children were confused by the question. They looked around at each other and slowly shook their heads. "No. We only see the cleaning people."

The cleaning people?

Onyx eyes hardened at this. L got to his feet as though he'd finally found his answer and he turned to leave. Raito went after him, just like she had in the morning.

"Ryuuzaki!" she called. "What's going on?"

He faced her, eyes apprehensive in a way she had never seen before.

"Listen to me, Raito-kun," he took a step towards her, the gesture akin to grabbing her by the arms. "Until further notice, I don't want you or the children to leave the building."  
Raito stared at him, astonished. "Why me?" she asked. The children she could understand but why her?

"It's too dangerous," he told her vaguely. "I fear that we have the murderer closer to us than we think."

Raito's heart skipped at beat when she heard that. "You mean, he's found you?" she breathed in disbelief, cinnamon eyes growing large

The detective seemed affronted by this, as if he had said more than he should have. He turned away, his raven hair falling over his eyes. "I will explain to you later," he said quietly. "I would like you to come to my room when dinner is over. I've asked the security guards to hand over the recent surveillance tapes and we'll watch them together."

Raito was half-torn between her anxiety over the posed threat and that of being close and alone with L. "Okay," she agreed. "I'll come."

Of course she wouldn't. She would never allow such a heartless perpetrator to go unpunished.

L looked at her for a moment, face unreadable as usual, and she wondered if he had anything more to say to her. He seemed to be struggling with so much, and her heart skipped a beat again, in the most inconvenient time, when she remembered their kiss and the sensations it had aroused in her, not to mention the confusion and the conflict.

And then, L turned around and walked up the stairs. She went back to the room to quiet the children, who had started to cry again, and she felt a surge of maternal feelings rise within her. She spent the rest of the evening before dinner time holding the children and comforting them, telling them that they should not be scared because nothing was going to hurt them. Some of the teenagers came in the room, strangely curious and cooperative, and they helped her calm the youngsters down, asking quietly when they got the chance about how the situation looked, what she made of it, and how long it would last.

(She wouldn't tell L this but there was one boy Near, who made her very uneasy. Mostly because she reminded him of a younger version of her husband. But this boy near was more withdrawn and self-centered, caring only for his puzzles and toy cars and she had to say that she had never seen someone so apathetic.

Except towards this other boy called Mello, who was blond and had quite a temper. She'd watched them interact and while Mello seemed unable to incite a reaction from Near, the white blond was always successful at making Mello angry. It was interesting and entertaining but sometimes, she couldn't help feeling that their rivalry had been set up on purpose.

And at the moment, none of them were on sight.)

It surprised her how objective and calculating these children were, scrutinizing their surroundings before deciding on anything; in a way, they actually reminded her of herself as she rarely got emotional.

L was the same way.

Logic and determination was the clear way to win this battle, not to mention a strong sense of justice. And Raito felt that she was equipped with all three to succeed.

Raito did not have an appetite that night. She could tell the children didn't either from the way they were absently stirring their soup and staring blankly at their water glasses. She sifted through the green leaves and tomatoes in her salad bowl, poking a ring of onion and chili with her fork before pushing away the bowl and leaning back in her chair with an inaudible sigh.

She eyed the children warily. "You should eat," she suggested encouragingly to them but they had been turned off from the way she had rejected her dinner. Some of the children were tiredly rubbing their eyes and it was near their bedtime anyhow, so she gave in

She tucked them into their bed like a Mother Goose. A few kids fell asleep as soon as their heads touched the pillows. Others clutched at their blankets fearfully and she had to wait until they were overcome with weariness.

She had never seen the orphans' quarters before but now, she got a chance to check them out. There were two long rooms, assigned according to gender, with beds on either side and pin drop silence. It reminded her of a hospital ward, but less bleak and with more color. There were windows on the far end of the room and she stepped forward quickly to shut the door to stop the cold air from coming in.

And to prevent an intruder.

She would've thought that the security in this fairy tale orphanage was impenetrable. However, today's experience had caused a crack of doubt in her. A part of her felt reluctant to leave them alone but she had other responsibilities. L would already be upstairs waiting for her so that he could show her the tapes and they could work something out.

As Raito stepped out of the girls' room and went up, the entire house so quiet that she could hear her footsteps echo throughout, she found her thoughts wandering to what could have been with L if things had turned out different. She would have been the…'mistress' of this place, if one saw L as the master of Wammy's House.

Well, she guessed that she was still the mistress since she was still legally married to the raven-haired detective and the thought made her smile with cynical humor. She felt like Elizabeth from _Pride and Prejudice_, wondering what it would have been like to be the mistress of Pemberley. While L was not a handsome gentleman like Mr. Darcy, he was certainly as rich as him. Probably richer.

_I can't believe I'm comparing this situation with a Jane Austen novel._ She immediately made up her mind to throw out her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ next morning.

As expected, L was waiting in his third-floor dungeon with a cup of steaming tea and a tray of assorted sweets that Watari had no doubt procured for him.

"Ah, Raito-kun," he acknowledged her presence as she shut the door behind her, digging hungrily into a generous slice of strawberry shortcake with an elegant silver fork.

How did he have the appetite to eat during a time like this?

"Did you have dinner?" he asked genially as she lowered herself on the floor beside him, facing the computer.

She shook her head. "I wasn't really hungry."

"What took you so long?" he asked through a mouthful of whipped cream, pieces of cake flying out in tiny bits. She raised an eyebrow inwardly. Was he one of those people who ate when they were really nervous?

"I was putting them to sleep," she told him.

Something in those obsidian eyes softened as they always did when she mentioned the orphans. She hoped that he wouldn't say something cheesy like "You'd make a good mother."

Though she couldn't deny that she did feel very maternal towards them.

She noticed the shape of his torso despite the loose shirt he wore, noticed how skinny he was and that nothing much had changed about his appearance. It was amaze her that he was really strong despite his appearance, which showed that looks were deceiving.

Especially in L's case.

To tell the truth, Raito didn't feel very comfortable being alone with him after what had happened today but she pushed those irrelevant, distracting thoughts aside, instead choosing to focus on the matter at hand. She had already promised herself at the beginning that she would not let her emotions get in the way and she had to be professional with him.

_Why did you kiss me?_

She was _not_ going to think of that!

"Do you have the security tapes?" she asked, getting right down to business.

"Yes," he said and to her surprise, he stood.

She felt alarmed. "Where are you going?"

"To my room," he replied, having been done with his tea and cake. "The tapes are there. As you can see, we don't have a TV or VCR here."

If she'd been a lesser woman, Raito would have swallowed. The feeling of unease in the pit of her stomach deepened but she tried to ignore it. There were more important things to worry about.

"Okay," she said and stood up, too.

She had never been to his room before. Although she knew he had one, she'd always assumed that he ate and slept in his dark study because that was where she'd seen him mostly. And outside sometimes but that was during her lucky days, she thought wryly.

L's room was on of the far end of the third floor, a place that she'd never been to. But unlike his study, this door did not have any fancy carvings on it: it looked very ordinary but she reminded herself that looks could be deceiving. She waited as L fished a key out of the pocket of his baggy jeans, its hems worn out from being dragged against the ground so much, and inserted it into the lock. When the door opened, he stepped aside to let her enter first. She did so suspiciously, not sure what she would find here.

For the first time, Raito was actually surprised that his room was actually _ordinary_, just like the door. There was a double bed in the center, as there was in hers, a bookshelf on the right, a table on the left with his iBook, and a TV and VCR just opposite to the bed. She was reminded of a hotel suite, much like the ones he would stay at.

(Had he rented a hotel room when he had gone to Japan this time?)

"Make yourself at home," he said eerily as he closed the door. She fought ridiculous urge to run out screaming. No, L did not bite, even when you wanted him to.

She took a few steps further into the room, watching the rain fall outside. It had lessened and she could see the water droplets glistening on the glass.

"It's nice," she commented. He smiled a bit at her right then but he said nothing.

He walked past her and inserted the tape into the VCR, and lifted his legs up on the bed. He turned his eyes expectantly on her, implying that she should join him. She did so reluctantly. Being in his study with him was one thing but being alone with him in his bedroom was another.

"The guards gave them to me an hour ago," L offered to her, a subtle effort to make her more comfortable (or at least, that was how she saw it).

"Did you get a look at them?" she wanted to know.

"Not yet. I have the employee records here, though," he said, handing over a long, thin book with printed sheets of the employees' names, time of arrival and time of departure. She quickly scanned through them.

"Anything suspicious?" she glanced at him.

"See for yourself," he said mysteriously.

What Raito saw left her in dismay. There were no questionable records, i.e. no one had left Wammy's House in the last hour before Jake went missing.

"This is so frustrating," she said under the breath. "But you can hardly imagine that whoever did this would sign his name before he left."

"I'm half-tempted to actually tell the police about the missing child," L admitted to her darkly as the tape started playing. "But it would be unwise to draw attention to me or Wammy's House. We already have more on our hands with this stalker."

She had to agree with that.

They watched the tape carefully, not missing out on any details, for the next one hour. All Raito noticed were the legitimate vans going in and out to deliver supplies, the gardener doing his job, and the guards patrolling the border. Seeing this suddenly made it seem as though Wammy's House was a high security prison as opposed to an orphanage for the gifted, but of course, L would take all measures to ensure the safety of this unique establishment.

But then, something on the screen suddenly caught L's eye and he pointed at it with doused excitement. "Look at that!" he quickly paused the tape and pressed some other buttons on the remote control to zoom in on the image. Raito narrowed her eyes and leaned forward to get a better look.

There was a van driving out at five P.M. Naturally, she couldn't see the driver from this angle but what she did catch was the colorful logo on the back of the vehicle.

"B's Bakery," she read out aloud and felt a small thrill to finally get a clue. "Maybe that's our hint." But when she turned to look at L, his gaunt face had fallen slack as he stared wordlessly at the TV, eyes fixed on the logo.

"What is it?" she asked, worriedly, looking from the screen back at him again. She had thought that he would be a bit more excited but his reaction had really taken her aback.

He didn't answer her. He just stared at the TV, his hand frozen on the remote control, as if in shock. Tentatively, she reached out to touch him, surprised to find that his blood had almost run cold.

"Ryuuzaki?" she was starting to get worried. Why was he reacting like this? What could it be about this logo that impacted him so much? "What's wrong?"

When he still did not reply, she decided to look for her next clue in the image. She peered at the logo, remembered all the other letter-clues and then, it dawned on her.

"_B_," she breathed. Yes, it was the letter B. L, X and B. But what did it mean? What was the murderer trying to tell them?

"This makes no sense," she muttered to herself. "B doesn't have any significance in Roman numerals either."

Still not saying anything, L leapt up from the room paced for a minute, and then stared out the window, almost _fearfully_. It was starting to creep her out, too as she had never seen him like this.

"Ryuuzaki," she tried again. "What's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" She was so eager to listen to what he had to say but she felt so frustrated now that he had locked up his mouth and thrown the key away. She saw his face reflected on the window glass, the sleek black strands falling over his forehead and saw the look in his deep midnight eyes.

Recognition.

"L," she addressed him in a more business-like manner, straightening up. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Still nothing. He kept staring mutely out of the window as if something totally out of the blue had fallen upon him and his worst nightmare had come true.

L made a sound then by clearing his throat, as if nothing had happened. "It's late," he said somewhat awkwardly and her eyes became slits with suspicion. "You should go to sleep."

Sleep? That was the most ridiculous thing she'd heard. How could she sleep when a mass murderer was on the loose and for all they knew, had found them in their very home?

"You're hiding something from me, aren't you?" she pressed in a soft voice that sounded almost threatening.

This time, L was more confident. "I'd appreciate it if we didn't discuss this at the moment," he said to her, baritone voice cold with reservation (_ah ha, hiding a secret!_). "Raito-kun needs her rest."

This annoyed her. "I'm not going until you tell me what's going on," she shot back stubbornly. "Do you know this guy, L? Does the letter _B_ mean anything to you?"

Once again, for a long moment, he was silent, undergoing an internal struggle to decide if he should open up to her or not. Raito would say that she didn't give a damn about his stupid personal life (or lack, thereof) but if it involved their case...

Finally, he turned around and met her gaze, undaunted.

"All right," he spoke. "I'll tell you."

A/N: What secrets could L be hiding, I wonder ;)? Well, I warn you that in the next chapter there will be some spoilers from L's history and the background of Wammy's House.

Yes, their fight was about the fact that L didn't want to consummate their marriage - he felt like they were going too fast and Raito got offended and insecure, thinking that he didn't really want her, or he had another woman on his mind. She's a little more mature, yeah, and about L's baser desires...well, let's see where things go ;).

Hope you liked this chapter! Feedback is much-loved! And anonymous reviewers, do leave your e-mail address if you'd like me to get back to you :D.


	12. Chapter 12

Nano word count: 4630  
Total word count: 50979

Raito waited patiently for L to continue. She rested her palm on the mattress, looking up at him defiantly even though a chill ran down her spine with the anticipation of what L was going to tell her.

He stared blankly at her, the usual dopey expression gone, replaced by a look of grim resignment, as though he hadn't wanted to tell her but at the moment, was left with no choice.

Raito was fine with it either way.

She heard him scratch one foot with the other like a monkey, jaw strangely tense to show that he was deep in thought of how he was going to say this to her. She supposed that was unusual since L was usually blunt, but maybe this was confidential information that he was going to disclose to her.

"Have you ever wondered about the origins of Wammy's House?" he suddenly asked it. "Who sponsored and built it, how it came to be?"

Her lips parted. So like L to draw the attention away from him to her when it suited him. But true, she had wondered several times about the history of this orphanage and she wasn't going to pass the chance to learn the truth.

"I've thought about it," she admitted to him. "All I know that it's an orphanage for the gifted and Watari-san built it. But what does that have to do anything with this?"

"Everything," replied L vaguely, annoying her. He took a few steps away from the window towards the TV and turned it off. She knew that he hated any form of distraction when he was talking.

(And people thought she was the one with an ego.)

"Watari-san built it," he affirmed, perching on a chair beside the TV so that they were facing each other like mirror images. "But that's isn't his real name."

Raito quirked an eyebrow at this revelation. "Oh?" she said.

L sighed again. "His real name is Quillsh Wammy. I don't suppose you've ever heard of him."

Well, that made sense as to why this orphanage was called Wammy's House. But no, she hadn't heard of him.

"Watari was a famous inventor years ago," L informed her and she listened closely in the dead of the late with the rain outside like a child listening to a ghost story. "He invented many things and with the money that he got, he set up orphanages around England. Wammy's House is just one of them."

Raito's eyes widened with curiosity. She inferred, "And this is an orphanage for the gifted."

"That it is," he acknowledged with a little nod. "But the gifted are brought here for a purpose."

She paused for a moment before she asked, "What purpose?", bracing herself for the answer.

"Before I answer that," said L, "I want to ask you if you've ever thought of why I'm the best investigator in the world."

In annoyance, she rolled her eyes. "Now is not the time to fish for compliments, Ryuuzaki," she reproached him, very much like a woman scolding her husband.

"It has everything to do with what I'm about to tell you," he said to her patiently. "Did you ever wonder about it?"

Did she? "Of course I have," Raito admitted somewhat reluctantly, not sure where this was going. "I merely assumed you were someone who loved to fight crime and that's how you rose to your position."

L's lips quirked at that. "Raito-kun sees everyone in a heroic light," he remarked with a smile.

She couldn't stop herself from flushing. She hadn't meant it like that! "Oh, grow up, Ryuuzaki," she muttered grumpily, hoping that her hair hid her blush.

L said nothing for a moment. She waited for him to go on with his story, eager to know what the whole truth was. And then he spoke:

"I am the first L."

Raito blinked. "The first L?" she narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?" And why the hell did he sound like some mysterious character from a horror movie?

"You've already construed that I'm an orphan," said L dolefully, wriggling his toes. "Watari found me in another orphanage when I was eight and already working on complex problems. At that time, this place was just an ordinary orphanage but after coming upon me, he and Roger came up with the idea of 'L'."

"'L'?" she echoed, frowning. "I don't understand."

"Their plan was to train an exceptionally intelligent child from a very young age in matters of inference and deduction, sharpening his analytical skills so much that he would be easily able to solve any puzzle in the world. In other world, this child could become the greatest detective ever known."

_Oh…_

"I was the first," L went on, watching her quietly. "I was to have successors in case of my demise, so there were other people trained alongside with me." His eyes became glazed then, as if he were reliving some distant memories. "There was one boy A, who I knew as a teen. But he could not handle the pressure of having to live up to my reputation and he shortly committed suicide." He looked mildly sad at this point. "Hence, with A gone, Roger and Watari discovered – "

"B," she breathed before he could finish his sentence. He eyed her carefully, waiting to hear what she had to say. Perhaps he had expected her to put all the pieces together based on what he had told her, despite the fact that he did seem surprised.

"They came up with B," she said like she was making it clear to herself.

"Precisely," L drawled. "B came to the orphanage a few years after me – I have no idea about his whereabouts before that. We had classes together even though he was younger than me by two years. You could say that we were friends of some sort," he stated carefully. "I was already solving cases by that time, also very successful, but…I was far better than he was and I suppose that jealousy finally broke apart whatever affinity we shared."

"So what happened then?" Raito asked inquisitively, leaning forward with great interest.

"B threw a tantrum and left Wammy's House. Before he left, he swore that if he could not be the best detective in the world then he would be – "

"The best criminal," Raito finished from him, and this earned her a raised black eyebrow.

"Raito-kun's powers of deduction are remarkably sharp despite the hour," he remarked dryly.

She ignored his jab. "How long ago did this happen?"

"Ten years back," he answered. "I hadn't heard from him…until now."

Raito pondered silently about everything she'd heard from his lips about the history of this establishment, about how the persona of L came to be, glad that she finally had a real clue about who the murderer was.

But there was still one thing that peaked her concern. "There's one more thing I'd like to know," she confessed somewhat hesitantly, unsure if he would answer her upcoming question.

He eyed her passively. "Go ahead," he encouraged, his tone emotionless.

"If there was an A and a B," she started, "then why are you called L?"

This time, L was truly surprised. The question had come so direct and in the past, she had never pestered him about his real identity, even though she'd been fully aware that Ryuuzaki was not his real name, only a legal alias.

Oh, the things she'd put up with for the sake of love.

Finally, Ryuuzaki/L answered her question.

"L is my first real name," he said.

She was quiet for a minute. "Oh." L was his first real name. It was the closest that she would ever come to finding out who he really was.

Somehow it made her very sad to think that she had gotten married – and would get divorced – without ever knowing her husband's name.

Her husband.

Her _husband_.

Why did it hit her like that all of a sudden?

They said nothing for the next few moments, unsure of what to do with the new information he'd revealed. And then she dared her next question:

"And what is your last name?" she wondered aloud, wincing inwardly, somehow knowing that he would not answer this one.

L gazed at her thoughtfully. "That is an answer that will have to wait for another time," he responded, very still.

She nodded understandingly. Thought so.

_But what if there isn't a next time?_

What did she care? She was determined to go her own way after this so what business was it of hers to know his real name? It wouldn't come of any use to her anyway.

"I understand," she said softly, averting her gaze momentarily to look at the light pastel green of the coverlet. This was L's room, this was his bed and yet, she'd never slept in it as his wife.

Where the hell did that thought come from?

_You're losing it, Yagami._

She should not have been entertaining such ridiculous notions.

"So you think it's B who's come back to haunt you?" she asked to change the subject.

"It couldn't be anyone else." L shook his head, dismally, momentarily distracting her with his thick locks. "There's no one else who knows me or about Wammy's House. And there's no one else who could be so despicable as to kidnap a child." His eyes hardened and his hand became a fist on the arm of the chair.

She tried not to think of what had happened to little Jake by now. She shut her eyes, afraid that maybe, tomorrow morning, the police would notify them about the body of a child found in the dumpsters, and the investigation would lead outsiders here, a very undesirable possibility.

And then something dawned on her.

"I don't think this is the only victim he's taken for now," she said to him, her owns words making her blood run cold. "He always chooses a victim from both genders." She shuddered. "What if there's a little girl gone missing from her house?" She got to her feet and started pacing the room in the space before L, who watched for a couple minutes before heaving a sigh and coming to stand behind her.

"I know this upsets you," he said awkwardly, raising his hands as if to place them on her shoulders. And then, on second thoughts, he drew them back. "I don't want children harmed anymore than you do."

"I don't want _anybody_ to get hurt," Raito said forcefully, cinnamon eyes flashing, trying to ignore her heart quivering with L so near. Would he mind taking a step back? She suddenly felt constricted as his shadow fell on her as though it would swallow her whole, the scent of him, so familiar and so painful.

"Look on the bright side," he urged her. "He completes his message and we know where to find him."

But it sounded too optimistic and simple to be true, especially for one who was already bent on proving himself better than L. She clenched her teeth and wondered how a monster like B could've have made it into Wammy's House, and then muster the audacity to kidnap – and possibly murder – a young boy just to prove a stupid point to L.

"I wish it was over already," she said softly, her voice defeated, her eyes turned away from the raven-haired detective. "I hate feeling so worthless and standing aside to watch people die."

L had an understanding look in his eyes. "I suggest that the best thing to do now is to get some sleep," he sounded pretty pessimistic. "I'm sure we will get some news in the morning."

She turned around to face him. "And what are you going to do?"

"Stay up, as usual." He gave a small shrug. "Wait and see if the police call."

"Maybe you should sleep, too," she offered. They were like two parents fretting over their missing son.

He gave her a sardonic smile then. "Care to join me?"

Her earlier thoughts about sleeping in his bed as his wife came flooding back but she quickly built a dam in her mind to prevent them. "You wish," she rejoined irritably. She couldn't believe L could joke in a time like this.

"Raito-kun should get some rest," he insisted again. "If she is afraid, I will be most glad to walk her to her room."

That was pretty insulting, she thought, but she had been a little fidgety since the incident so it wouldn't hurt to let him tag along. "I'm not inviting you in for coffee," she warned him half-playfully to lighten the somber mood as they left his room.

"Raito-kun is breaking my heart," L pouted like a petulant child. "I've told her so much about my life and she refuses to give a thirsty man some coffee."

Raito rolled her eyes again and shook her head, thinking that he would never change. Or rather, his mood changed like the temperature of running water.

Explained why he'd loved her once and then abandoned her so effortlessly.

As they reached her door, they stood there, looking at each other, suddenly awkward. She didn't know about him, but she was thinking of what had happened in the morning, and briefly, she held her breath, wondering if he would kiss her again.

She wanted him to. And she wanted him not to.

"Uh, well," L awkwardly shifted on his feet, face dopey. It was an expression she had found cute on numerous occasions. "Good night."

"Good night, Ryuuzaki," she said as she watched him walk back to his room.

* * *

The following morning, Raito was still exhausted. The fitful few hours of sleep hadn't help at all, and she'd opened her eyes to the first thought of the child and what had happened to him and what she was about to hear. As breakfast, she'd been able to stomach only coffee (black, no sugar). She stayed downstairs to watch over the children in the indoor playroom, the older ones already in their classes, everyone pale with tension before she headed upstairs to L's room. 

She wasn't surprised to find him in the study but what did surprise her was that Watari and Roger were there, too.

"Oh, good morning," she greeted them, startled. "I didn't expect to see you here."

At another time, the sight of finding all three men sitting on the floor would have amused her, but now it served only to make her even more apprehensive. And she'd also thought that no one else was allowed in L's private study.

_So you're not so special after all_, an inner voice poked her. She drove that trivial thought from her mind. She had never felt special to be let into this room from where her husband conducted his investigation, she just hadn't viewed it as a kind of conference room.

Three dark pairs of eyes lifted towards her and she found herself holding her breath, wondering if she was about to hear the worst news possible.

"Sit down," L scooted over to make space for her. Tentatively, she knelt beside in the manner of a perfect Japanese wife with her hands resting on her knees, heels tucked beneath her. All the others seemed comfortable enough, if it weren't for the expressions they wore.

It was evident that Roger and Watari already knew that she knew and she felt a little guilty for some reason, wondering if they were miffed with L for telling her all the secrets.

_Well, there's still his name to discover…_

"We were talking about the case," L filled her in. "Roger and Watari both know B. I've shown them the video tapes. And there's no such place called B's Bakery either. Obviously a direct challenge to me."

Raito eyed him warily. "Is there any news about Jake?" she asked, already afraid of the answer.

From Watari's sad sigh, she knew that she was about to hear something really terrible. Even Roger, who was always so cheerful, seemed down.

"You were right," he said somberly. "There were two kidnappings yesterday. The other one was a girl two miles away from here." He paused. "Both their bodies were found this morning."

Raito couldn't describe what she was feeling right then. She hadn't thought of it before but now, she was envisioning Jake in front of her eyes, a boy she hadn't known very well but he was too young to die…and like this. Her eyes were brimming with tears over these children that she never knew, but she blinked them back stubbornly. She couldn't break down in tears in front of these men, especially L. All she could do now was put in all her effort into catching B, paving the path of justice to be served.

"Are there – " she began, but her voice was shaking and L was looking at her intently as if trying to figure out what he should do with her. She swallowed and cleared her voice. "Are there pictures?"

L nodded. She figured that the police must have contacted him in the wee hours of the morning and Watari must have gone down to the station to get these things.

But why hadn't L woken her up?

She looked down at the pictures and found herself with the overwhelming urge to cry again as she touched the images on the little bodies lying on the floor, lifeless. These were someone's son and daughter, and they had once been vivacious and active with huge smiles on their faces, but what she saw now was just an imitation of who these children used to be.

"The girl has been identified as Agatha Samuels," said L. "Her parents have already claimed the body, refusing to allow an autopsy."

_And with all good reason_, Raito thought before putting the photos away. She couldn't bear to keep looking at them and wondering how scared they must have been, wondering what their last thoughts were before B so mercilessly took their lives like it was some kind of game to him.

It was simply unforgivable.

"And Jake?" she turned to look at the detective. "I take it that you didn't go to claim him?" She couldn't help feeling that they'd betrayed him somehow, first by failing them as caretakers, now by turning their backs on him after they let him die.

Roger, who had not spoken all this time, answered for L. "It's true that no one was able to identify him," he said. "But…out of respect, I did go to the police station, claiming to be a distant relative." He paused for an instant. "His funeral will be held here in the afternoon, after lunch."

She swallowed again and nodded. "All right."

"Going back to the case," L said, turning back his professional game again, "we found another symbol on both of the bodies."

So far, he discussed with her, the message read "L ten" without the latest murders. They figured that B was addressing L and referring to what had happened ten years ago. And now, in the light of new evidence, B appeared to be giving him a date.

Because he'd inscribed a number on the inner arms of both the victims. Six-seven.

Raito looked up at this in perplexity. "Six-seven?" she frowned. "As in, the sixth of July?"

"It could also be the seventh of June," said L, "depending on which you follow. But my guess is that he means the sixth of July."

Watari and Roger had already left by now to make arrangements for the funeral, leaving them alone.

"But that's not far off, is it?" Raito pressed. "It's two Tuesdays away."

L agreed. "My guess is that he wants to meet me somewhere." He worried his thumb under his teeth. "But where?"

"Are there any places that the two of you ever went to?" Raito suggested.

"Children from Wammy's House aren't allowed to go anywhere on their own before seventeen," L disagreed. "And I never hung out with B in my free time."

"But there could be a place that he might have mentioned to you…a place that he wanted to visit, but couldn't because of the restriction."

"He did say that he always wanted to go to London," he said thoughtfully. "But if he wanted to meet me, then where in London?"

This time, Raito was the one to come to the conclusion that they always had to settle on. "Maybe we should wait and find out." She glanced back at the photos lying on the floor and looked away again."

L turned his stare on her. "You seem to have no problem with that now," he observed.

She would've been annoyed by that at another time but the fight seemed to have gone out of her like a snuffed candle. "There's nothing much to do now, is there?" she retorted without malice. And then, she said in a hardened tone, "I don't think I'd like to see anything more than B getting what he deserves."

"Raito-kun shouldn't let herself be driven by revenge," L said, surprising her.

"It's not revenge," she objected, "it's a strong sense of justice."

"That might be so," he conceded quietly, "but justice fueled by revenge can be flawed. You see, when you are driven by a thirst for vengeance, you eventually lose focus and are soon bound to slip up."

Raito lifted a suspicious eyebrow. "Your point being?"

"B wants revenge against me, doesn't he?" L said as-a-matter-of-factly. "That's his driving force, the reason why he's going through amazing lengths and committing these crimes to get my attention. We already know that he wants to prove his superiority over me. Or rather," he added as a careful afterthought, "B wishes to prove that he is the best criminal and a worthy foe."

She considered this. "So what you're saying is, sooner or later, he's bound to make a mistake," she inferred.

This time, L smiled eerily. "Precisely, Raito-kun. When one is led on by baseless desires, one will, in due course, make a mistake."

Somehow, that made Raito feel better, more optimistic. "Let's just hope he makes that mistake soon," she said, joking weakly. "I don't think I could stand it anymore if victims kept showing up left and right and we weren't getting anywhere with this case."

"Yes," L concurred, "I feel the same way."

* * *

The funeral took place in the playground after lunch, as Raito had been told. She didn't have any black clothes with her so she wore what she'd thrown on in the morning. No one else was wearing black anyway. 

It was a quiet, somber affair, over in fifteen minutes because little Jake's friends were too young to give a eulogy. All that happened was Watari and Roger telling everyone how sorry they were that just a tragedy had befallen them all, and so unexpectedly because Wammy's House had always felt so secluded away from the turmoils of the outside world. The children was as pale as snow, doing their best not to cry. Almost everyone appeared sympathetic, except for that boy Near, she observed with sharp disapproval, who looked like he'd be forced to come here.

L was standing beside her, laid-back and silent, face blank. Only his eyes showed emotion and it was only one emotion.

Failure.

Failure that he'd been unable to protect these orphans from such horrors, especially a horror from his own past, something that no one else deserved to suffer for. She couldn't imagine what he must be going through right now and she wanted to lay a comforting hand on his arm, and both could hope that things would go their way.

But there was nothing much they could do right, except wait patiently and hope that justice was served to B.

It started to rain again, a fine, light drizzle that left dark footprints on their clothes. Raito hadn't even had the heart to look into the little casket for fear of what she might see. Had L taken a look? What had he thought?

She never imagined that things would turn out to be so depressing. L hadn't either. Together, they watched as the casket was lowered into the ground and an old man in overalls started shoveling dirt on it. The gathering dispersed slowly like a flock of birds, all heading back the house, security tight. As L started to leave, Raito found herself and reaching out to grab his sleeve. He turned to look at her in surprise.

She herself was surprised by what she'd done and as she gaped at him for a moment, trying to organize her thoughts, she felt a question resurface in her, something that had been bugging since this morning.

"Why didn't you call me?" she demanded. Why hadn't she been notified as soon as they'd received word from the police? Why had they waited until she went to them?

L blinked at her with his goldfish eyes. "Raito-kun, this isn't the time to discuss this," he objected in a mumble, clearly not in the mood but she wouldn't have it.

"I had every right to know," she persisted, cinnamon eyes ablaze with stifled fury, struggling to stop herself from raising her voice. "You got the news but you didn't wake me up."

L regarded her coldly. "I don't see how that should bother you," he pointed out.

"Of course it bothers me, Ryuuzaki," she cried in disbelief. "I came here to solve a case that you wanted me to. Were you planning to put the blame on me later on, saying that I did no work?"

"Raito-kun should not assume such unfavorable things about me," L's usually wide eyes narrowed slightly to show his distaste. "I know her true motives behind her diligent perseverance and I fully intend to keep my word when she has kept hers."

"You bastard," she hissed under the breath, swiftly losing her temper. "Don't make me sound like the inhuman one. You're the one who used me the first time just to get what you wanted."

"Oh, yes," L's voice was as cool as ice; there was something in it that she didn't like at all. "Since Raito-kun is so accustomed to thinking that the world revolves around her, she requires a reality check that people around her have _other_ priorities that do not involve putting her on a pedestal."

That had come like a slap in the face. She stared at him wordlessly, stunned by what he'd said. It was the cruelest thing she'd ever heard escape his thin lips and even though L had said a lot of thing to anger her, this one certainly took the cake (no pun intended).

Never before had he ridiculed her worth like that, said that she wasn't important enough for others to care about her, to treat her as they pleased just to show her that the word did not revolve about her.

Her throat constricted; she wouldn't cry – that would be a blow to her pride, but sometimes, now that she was in a foreign land with only a handful of people she knew, and in a dangerous situation, it was nice to know that people gave her some importance.

Especially the man who she was wont to call her husband.

But 'husband' was just an empty, meaningless word that carried no value for either of them, as she could see in L's fathomless midnight eyes, and unable to look at him anymore, she turned her back and walked away.

A/N: And there you have it, the end of the Nano - my 50,000+ words all in November :):). Well, the Nano's finished but the story isn't, so stay tuned. Thanks everyone for reading and I've already started the next chapter. If you ask me, Raito needs to loosen up and so does L ;). And yes, it's B from the novel. We'll just see what he does here ;).

About Raito's clothes, well, I imagine her wearing trousers and shirts but also skirts, too :). Because skirts are pretty and L is a foot-man, so he'd like seeing her legs ;).

I hope you guys liked this chapter - I took some liberties with canon because that way, it's more fun to write fanfiction ;). Feedback is loved!


	13. Chapter 13

Nano word count: 6131  
Total word count: 57095_  
_

_Raito didn't think much about the events of the day as she set out from home with her book bag and headed towards school. She pushed back her hair away from her eyes, a confident smile on her face as she thought of the podium, totally comfortable about what she was going to do today._

_There was no one in sight as she walked up the street after getting off the subway station, but there had been this weirdo inside the train, staring her unnervingly the entire time. She was used to people staring her but this guy simply gave her the creeps._

_She didn't give him a proper look but from the few glances that she had cast his way, he seemed like a drug addict._

_Well, did she look like a dealer? She rolled her eyes and turned away, feeling his gaze burn holes into the back of her neck._

_Thankfully the train arrived in her school district soon enough and she quickly got out in hopes to lose that guy; this time, when she looked back, he was gone. Maybe she'd lost him. He probably hadn't wanted anything from her in the first place._

_Just as she was rushing up the stairs (class was about to start in ten minutes), she saw the guy standing on top in broad daylight with his posture crooked and his hair rumpled like he just got out of bed. His baggy clothes were wrinkled, too, and there were dark circles around his eyes that made him look like a raccoon._

_"Hello," he said huskily to her, black eyes wide open and face blank, so blank that it sent shivers down her spine._

_Holding her breath, heart skipping a beat in panic, Raito quickly looked away and hurried past him, acting like she didn't know him. Being checked out by guys was nothing new to her but there was something about the way this man stared at her that made her extremely uncomfortable, afraid, even. And she was normally a brave young woman._

_She told herself to stop being stupid. A future NPA officer couldn't afford to be unnerved every time a stranger stared at them. It was undesirable._

_Instead, she chose to concentrate on her speech today._

_Speech-giving class was a total joke for her. Okay, it wasn't a joke but it was something really easy. She was a born orator, she thought, never getting nervous; and the topic she had chosen was something she felt specially passionate about – the flaws in the Japanese legal system and how to improve them._

_She felt light as she got up on the podium, her little notecards tucked safely into her palm. Her memory was close to perfect and she'd already mastered the art of glancing at her notes without anyone else noticing. She didn't feel shy or nervous at all as her audience looked at her expectantly with a smile on their faces, making her feel even more confident that yes, there was something she had to offer society._

_She took a deep breath and spoke._

_The audience listened with rapt attention as she delivered her opinions on the growing rate of violent crimes in Japan – not to mention all over the world – and how criminals still got away by giving bribes and threats, and that there needed to be more measures to ensure the safety of ordinary citizens. She saw her speech teacher nodding in approval as she used all the techniques he'd taught in classes, even improving them according to her needs to get her point across. Her classmates were all sitting in the front rows in their neat uniforms (not at all like the guy from the subway) and they, too, were smiling with admiration._

_There were some others sitting in the back, faces that she neither noticed nor recognized, assuming that they must belong to other teachers or outside visitors, and she carried on like a graceful swan swimming in a lagoon._

_As soon as she was done, concluding her speech with suggestions how to the legal system could be ameliorated, the audience broke into a deafening clap, cheering her. She smiled graciously at them like a queen to her subjects._

_Yes. She really did have something to offer the world._

_Just as she was stepping down the podium, making way for the next student, her eye caught a familiar face in the back of the audience, almost making her stumble._

_It was the man from the subway._

_Raito's blood ran cold. Had he followed her all the way to school?_

_His pale face shone like a ghostly apparition in the dark, his heavy gaze still on her like like a piercing vice that made her frown._

_But no. She wouldn't be scared by him. She would just ignore him and carry on with her day as though he didn't exit._

_She sat with her classmates, tempted many times to look back and see if he was still there but she refused to give him the satisfaction. So she kept her head straight and listened to the following speeches, her mind elsewhere._

_When the speeches were over, everyone got up to go back to their regular classes. She felt apprehensive as she clutched her book bag to herself, hoping that the weirdo was gone by now. And when she looked around, he really was._

_She breathed a sigh of relief. And hoped that she wouldn't run into him again._

_The rest of her day was fairly uneventful, with the instructors focusing on the upcoming national exams that would decide their academic future. These lectures bored her because she was already sure that she'd come out top anyway and one of her teachers even said that the whole school was counting on her to make them look good._

_It hardly surprised her._

_After she was done with class and getting ready to go home, her cell phone rang. She was surprised to see that it was her father calling._

_"Raito," he said, sounding more serious than usual. "Are you done with class?"_

_"Yeah, dad, I was just about to head home." She slung her back over her shoulder, walking down the hallway towards the exit, sticking with the crowd. "What's up?"_

_"I need you to come down and see me."_

_She raised an eyebrow. "Is anything wrong, Dad?"_

_It didn't sound like that, for sure, though. "No," he answered. "Just come to the Tato Hotel as soon as you can. I'm in Suite 514."_

_She lowered her voice, her interest already peaked. "Is it about a case?" she asked, smelling a mystery in the air like a hound dog smelling blood._

_Her father's slight hesitation already gave her the answer she was looking for. "Just come over," he said, "and I'll fill you in on everything."_

_"Sure thing, dad," she ended the call. Right now, she'd forgotten about the mystery man and in her elation, she even grabbed a cab, ignoring how expensive the fare was, and promptly reached the Tato Hotel in twenty minutes. Her stomach was rambling and judging from how posh the hotel looked, she inferred that she would have to get home until she could get something to eat. For now, she could concentrate on the case that her dad was going to tell her about. Food could wait._

_She was tingling with excitement as she pressed the button on the elevator, a few other people there with her. She didn't like the way they were eyeing her with disapproval. On the outside she was a simple schoolgirl with a book bag, wearing her uniform. Why did they have to look at her that way?_

_And then...the realization dawned on her, making her eyes grow large._

Oh...

_Perverts!_

_She was glad enough to get off on the fifth floor away from those judging eyes (what the heck were they judging anyway? She really was a student, not an expensive prostitute!) and find the suite she was looking for. The whole corridor was eerily silent, except for the maids pushing a cart laden with towels and toilet paper. Thankfully, she did not give Raito any odd looks._

_Finally, she found the door she had been looking for and she knocked with the right amount of interest and professionalism._

_It was opened a few minutes later by Matsuda, who greeted her cheerfully as though she'd arrived at a party; and there were Aizawa and Mogi, who said hello to her in a more sober fashion. Now, they were_ real_cops, not like Matsuda, who'd gotten into the police force just because he had good connections. That was one other thing that needed to be improved in the justice system – incompetent people should not be hired._

_"Raito," her father was standing beside a couch that had its back turned towards them. "Glad you could make it."_

_He looked tired and unshaven as though he hadn't slept or showered in days. And she guessed that he hadn't, because he hadn't come home in days._

_She felt a little sorry for him. "What's going on, dad?" she put aside her back and observed all the rich furnishings in the room. What were they all doing in such a fancy place?_

_"As you know," said the Chief, rubbing his weary eyes. "We're working on the serial murder case in Shinjuku."_

_She nodded and he went on. "The case is more difficult than we expected and we have L here to help us."_

_L? She'd heard of him once, somewhere in the news: _L solves another case._ She hadn't thought much about it back then but it seemed pretty important now._

_"L has expressed an...interest in meeting you," Mr. Yagami said guardedly, glancing at the couch like he didn't trust it._

_Raito frowned. Why wouldn't her father trust a couch?_

_And who was sitting there anyway?_

_Her question was answered before she could say anything. There was someone sitting on the couch. That someone got up, making no sound; she squinted in the dark. Yes, this person was oddly familiar...his posture, his hair..._

_And the person turned around to face her with his wide eyes. "Hello, Raito-kun," he said._

_Raito suppressed a gasp. It was the same man from the subway!_

* * *

She wasn't really hungry in the days to come. She just downed some tea in the morning, toast for lunch and some noodles for dinner, which was the highlight meal of the day. Normally, she'd be so careful about her food habits, eating the right amount of everything that she needed. 

L noticed with his stupid usually-blank gaze doing a good imitation of concern. But he said nothing. And she didn't give a damn. Because she could starve herself all she wanted and L wouldn't care because he had priorities other than "putting her up on a pedestal."  
Yes, the words had stung but that didn't mean that they couldn't have a professional relationship. She just didn't have to speak with him. It was more amiable that way because he didn't get to piss her off and she didn't get to _be_ pissed off. A most desirable arrangement.

But that was the way things went the first couple of days until L looked at her somewhat sharply and pronounced, "You should eat more."

They were sitting in his room, on the bed, to be precise, and she was sitting at the foot while he was at the head. She eyed him critically as he said that, noticing how he methodically shoveled apple cake from his cake and placed it in his mouth; she idly watched as the food traveled down his throat and wished that she could snap it.

"I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki," she uttered with forced politeness, "but not everyone has a voracious appetite as you do."

L ignored that and downed the last bit of his coffee. The bags under his eyes had gotten heavier lately since he probably slept only half-an-hour every day (how the heck could he function like that?) and despite the insane amounts of caffeine that he consumed, he still seemed very tired.

Apparently, sugar wasn't enough to keep you going through trying times.

"Roger tells me that you haven't been eating much," he said quietly to her. "He thinks that you might be homesick."

Raito gritted her teeth, her back turned to him as she looked at the police reports of the latest killings. "I would really appreciate it if you didn't spy on my food habits," she almost hissed.

"Now is not the time to be anorexic," L chided her mildly. "You can do that on your own time."

Her eyes widened at the rebuke. The nerve of that man! "Forgive me," she retorted sarcastically, "I hadn't realized that what I ate would inconvenience you."

"It's not what you eat," he pointed out. "It's what you don't eat."

"I'm not very hungry, thanks for your concern."

He paused for an instant and then titled his head. "Perhaps it's that time of the month for Raito-kun," he said, outwardly innocent but inwardly sly. "I remember that she didn't have much of an appetite and was rather cranky then."

She felt the heat flush and spread out her cheeks at his words, glad that he couldn't see her face. Then again, why should she feel surprised or embarrassed? She knew that he had no shame and he was blunt with just about everything that he said.

"That's none of your business," she murmured, going back to focus on the reports and trying to figure out the latest code left on the victims' bodies.

"Well, I know of some interesting ways of helping Raito-kun to get rid of her cramps," his voice dropped suggestively, sending a shiver down her spine of horror and distaste.

She smirked then, her back still turned to him. "Who told you that I had cramps?" No, she wasn't having her period, so no question of cramps.

"Well, you appear to be uncomfortable," he reasoned. "You wince at two-minute intervals and your breathing is shallow, almost as if you're in pain. Not to mention that you're more irritable than usual. It can be nothing other can period pains." He started gnawing on his thumbnail.

She was shocked for a moment. Where on earth had he gotten that?

No, he'd definitely pulled that out of thin air. She knew what he was doing, oh yes, she did. As a matter of fact, he used to do this all the time when they were lovers – he'd goad her and bait her if she was ticked off just to make her lose her temper and snap at him, because he thought that she was beautiful when she was angry.

Well, she would most certainly not give him that satisfaction now.

Her lips curled in another smirk. "I'm so flattered that Ryuuzaki-san spends so much time observing my discomfort than working on the case," she drawled a taunt at him, "but has it occurred to him that I'm uncomfortable because I have to work in close quarters with a slimy, overgrown brat?"

L was shocked at the insult but he recovered in a split-second (damn, he was good).

"Now isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" he drawled back.

"Well, I'm not slimy!" she snapped at him, still not looking at him. "At least I take more showers than you do."

"Raito-kun notices if I take showers or not?" he pretended to be stunned. "Why, that must mean that I still have a chance with her and she wishes to remain my wife."

She tried not to twitch at that. "In your dreams, Ryuuzaki," she shook her head. What was the point in them fighting like children?

_Well, he started it!_ said the childishness in her.

"But then again," she went on, her voice biting, "you don't sleep much, do you?

L dropped the act. "Can't really sleep with there's so much to be done," he sounded resigned.

It was her turn to be paused. Amazing that they could go from being snippy to more pleasant grounds in a matter of mere milliseconds. Was it that easy? L was hard to read through all those layers of pretense or disguise. It was difficult to tell if he was being playful or serious but she was certain that he wouldn't joke about the case.

And about the new issue…she sighed. There had been two new murders, again a man and a woman. It was disturbing how B always chose his victims like that. Made Raito wonder if he knew about her and L.

What she wondered more about was the meaning of the symbols on the new bodies – I and J, which made no sense.

"Either B is totally messing with us," L had remarked dryly, "or he's trying to teach us the Roman alphabet."

Raito had laughed and thought that they would soon figure it out. Now, she wasn't too sure. It felt like they'd reached a dead end and B was killing for the fun of it. And laughing at them.

"This makes no sense," she finally put the photos away and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I think B's playing with us."

Looking grave, L said nothing and poured himself some tea. It never ceased to amaze her how Neanderthal his movements. What the hell had she been thinking when she married him?

_Oh, that's right. I_ wasn't _thinking_.

"You should be more optimistic, Yagami-kun," said L. "A good detective never gives up hope." And that was him being cheesy again.

"I think it'd be more helpful if I could take a look at the bodies myself," said Raito.

He stopped, staring at her as if she'd grown two heads. "You want to go to the morgue, you mean?" he asked to clear things up.

She shrugged. "Sure. Why not? It'd be a good way to get practical experience for me, don't you think?" Not that she needed his approval, of course…

"I reiterate myself from before," he deadpanned, "no one else is allowed to leave the premises without my permission."

"Well," she said with strained patience. "Will you let me then? I could go with Watari."

"Absolutely not."

His answer took her aback and her eyes narrowed. "Why not?" she demanded to know. "I wouldn't go alone, I'd go with Watari."

"Yes, and what would you tell the police, hmm?" L sipped his tea like a British nanny, the slurping sound getting under her nerves. "That you're L's wife?"

She smirked. "Well, that would earn a few raised eyebrows, wouldn't it?" she quipped.

"No doubt," he agreed wryly. "Nonetheless, I really wouldn't like you to use my name to get publicity for yourself."

Raito visibly twitched at that. And then she scowled. "I wouldn't use your stupid name to get attention," she said bitingly at him, feeling triumphant as he winced for a jiffy. "If you recall, people were always surprised to see that _you_ were with _me_."

"That was probably because they thought I was too smart for you," he rejoined, making her scowl again.

This time, she was seething. "Well, at least I looked better than you." That was a stupid come-back but she was angry and when anger clouded her mind, she couldn't see well and had to resort to petty insults.

(She could be petty when she was ticked off but she preferred to think of herself as noble and high-minded.)

"Raito-kun is forgetting that beauty is only skin deep," L pointed out as he raised the tea cup to his lips again. She glared at him. Was he hiding a smirk?

Her hand curled on the mattress. Damn, she'd love to punch him right now… "At least my skin's in a better state than yours," she rejoined childishly. "You never look like you take care of yourself."

"Would Raito-kun like to do it for me?" he invited cheekily. "I always knew she was secretly attracted to my ragged, manly appearance."

Something about that comment hurt Raito as it reminded her of that night when she'd been looking forward to making love with him, only to have him say no to her face, like she didn't have any effect on him.

So, in bitterness, she resorted to the only insult that would hit a man, any man (if L were indeed a man) below the belt. "Looks are deceiving, Ryuuzaki, because in spite of your 'manly appearance,' you don't seem to have any manly appetites."

That shut him up.

Trying to bite back her laughter, she lowered her eyes on her lap, feeling his glare on her.

* * *

_"…in spite of your 'manly appearance', you don't seem to have any manly appetites."_

Raito's words still rung in L's ears like church bells as he sat on the chair and stared at the bed, a pensive pout on his lips.

Manly appetites. Manly appetites.

She'd gone to lunch about an hour ago and Watari had brought in a new cart of assorted sweets that he didn't care for at the moment because he was too immersed in thinking about his manly appetites.

He was actually afraid to close his eyes because if he did, then he would envision the night when she'd been so eager to consummate the marriage, holding him, kissing him, pressing her soft body in his arms, her shy voice encouraging him to do what married couples were supposed to do on their wedding nights.

If she'd only known the amount of self-control it had taken him to keep from ravishing her like a starved man…

L had never been with anyone else before. He supposed that one would find it unusual for a man of his age but that was the truth. His line of work and the way he'd been raised hadn't given him much scope to test the waters like ordinary people, so when he'd met Raito, he'd dived right in. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

She wouldn't believe him but he really had loved her… Looking back, he supposed it was puppy love (at the age of twenty-five?) but puppy love wasn't supposed to hurt after two years; it wasn't supposed to hurt every time you looked at the one you truly cared about and it wasn't supposed to hurt when that person insulted you.

He eyed a delicious-looking piece of strawberry shortcake and wondered if he should have it or not. But there was something about the cake that reminded him of Raito – probably the color of the strawberry matched the shade of lipstick she wore.

_If you only knew the extent of my 'manly appetites'…_

No, he was not going to think of her like that!

_But why not? She's your wife._

Only on a piece of paper.

But he'd ruined any chance of having her as the true mistress of Wammy's House when he'd run off (oh, he despised those words) two years ago and it was no use listening to the treacherous voices in his heart that tried to influence him to tell her the truth, that he was afraid, that he had no excuse for what he'd done, but he was sorry.

She wouldn't believe him. She'd already gone through too much for his sake, betraying her family's trust and then sacrificing her summer vacation just to come to England with him – she would never buy the truth from him; she'd only think that it was another one of his lies to make her stay and let her be used as an intellectual asset.

No, he had loved her, he really had, but what had he done to show it?

It was the thought that weighed on L's mind like an anvil, that he, who considered himself to be the personification of justice, could be unjust to a young woman that he'd married and abandoned.

He really had no excuse for what he'd done.

So what use was there feeling sorry for himself because even if he offered himself only a silver platter, Raito would never take him back…and he didn't like how that realization shot him in the heart.

* * *

L was not going to control her life. 

She'd figured that much out when she'd slipped out into the night, opening the gates and letting the night air hit her in the face full force. She'd half-expected the gates to be electrocuted but hacking into the security system of the orphanage had been more than easy, and here she was out, out of the building at midnight, adrenaline pumping her like…fuel.

Raito opened the umbrella over her head as it looked like it would rain pretty soon and she set out. She'd already noted down the address of the police station from all the case files when L wasn't looking (she was starting to think that she was smarter than him) and she found a cab soon.

How did Watari manage to get inside the police station, she wondered as she pulled up her jacket around her to hide her face as much as possible. She'd taken her cell phone with her, putting it on silent mode. It was something L had given her a few weeks ago, in case she needed it. She reckoned that the camera might come in pretty handy.

It had started to rain when the taxi arrived at the station. It didn't look very big from the outside; to be honest, she'd been expecting a huge, multi-story building like the NPA, but maybe Winchester didn't need just a huge police department.

There weren't many people in the station at this hour of the night when she entered the lobby, careful not to make eye contact with anyone since she obviously didn't want to be noticed. Cops pushing drug addicts and prostitutes walked past her and she made a little face of disapproval. There were the low-lying scum of society and from seemingly petty crimes rose more serious, unforgivable ones; and in her opinion, in order to prevent the serious crimes, the smaller ones had to be dealt with first.

No one paid any attention to her; they did not come up and ask her "Can I help you?" like she had expected them to but she supposed that made her job more convenient, more feasible.

The morgue was on an underground floor. It was colder than it was above and she rubbed her arms for warmth, wishing she'd worn a better jacket. She eyed the steel compartments warily, her distorted reflection staring back at her as though it were mocking her, and she wondered why no one had noticed that a stranger had slipped into such an important place unnoticed.

Another flaw in the justice system – the PDs had to be guarded more firmly.

The latest victims were thankfully not children, but elderly people, senior citizens. Not that it made much difference but Raito was relieved. Two other letters had been carved on them but these did not make any sense. And Raito tried looking at the photos from various angles, as did L, but neither of them had had any luck.

Maybe seeing the bodies in person would prove more fruitful.

Raito looked around cautiously to ensure that she was truly alone in the place (well, except for the dead bodies) and no one would be coming here any time soon. Then she found the compartment she was looking for and she opened it and pulled out the slide, revealing the corpse.

A wince was her first reaction as she eyed the lifeless form of the old man covered by a thin sheet, lying at her waist. It angered her to see how B was killing people of all age groups like it was fun, but they didn't get what point he wanted to make.

(She would never admit this but she was starting to think that B really must be smarter than L.)

Lowering her head, Raito looked carefully at the carving on the body – the letter Y, dark, red and dry in the bright light of the morgue. Quickly, she snapped a few photos in her cell phone to show to L later on – if she did decide to share with him whatever she found here.

Done with this, she quickly moved onto the next one, the body of the woman, which had the letter Z carved on it, a few compartments away, labeled neatly. But when she looked closely, what she saw made her eyes widen in surprise.

* * *

It was two in the morning when Raito got back (what was wrong with the security system of this place? Maybe that's how B had gotten in) and she had gotten slightly wet in the rain. She tiptoed quietly down the hall so as not to make any noise and hoped fervently that no one, especially L, had noticed that she was gone, and that she could quietly sit in her room and do some work on her own. She wasn't tired any longer, the little adventure giving her all the energy and enthusiasm that she needed to pull an all-nighter. 

And if L hadn't noticed anything, that would be added bonus, she thought optimistically.

She opened the door to her room. It was still dark inside, the only light coming from the gleam of the falling rain outside. And as far as she could see, it was empty.

_Ah, perfect._ She quickly shut the door and rushed to the bedside to gather a change of clothes. She'd turn on the light later when she'd settled in and was ready to get down to business.

As Raito took off her damn jacket, about to pull her shirt over her head, she heard a dry, monotonous voice say coldly behind her, "Welcome back, Nancy Drew."

With a startled gasp, she spun around to find L sitting with his knees up in the dark, face stern and unreadable, eyes dark with fury.

_Oh, crap…_

She took a deep breath and tried to remain calm even though she felt like a teen caught red-handed coming back from a midnight rendezvous with her boyfriend.

(She resented comparing her stupid, owlish husband with her noble father…who had pushed her into this disposition.)

(Come to think of it, there wasn't much difference between them.)

"Ryuuzaki," she steeled herself and met his soulless eyes boldly. "What are you doing here?"

"The question should be," he said, "what were you doing there?"

She remained silent, her mind trying to find a good excuse to throw him off her back, but she knew that he knew trouble when he smelled it and he had the sense of smell like a dog.

Perhaps…it would be a good idea to come clean.

"I went to the police station." She held her chin high, challenging him.

"Why?"

"Lack of evidence to make anything out of the case," she replied, undaunted.

"Why would you think that we didn't have enough evidence when the police department are in full co-operation with us?" L's voice was deadly calm.

"I needed to see things from a different angle." She could feel her temper rising at his provocation and she wanted to taunt him back; a perverse desire in her wanted to see if he would rise to the challenge.

"You blatantly disobeyed my wishes when I said I did not want anyone to go out!" Obsidian eyes flared with bright silver and Raito found herself momentarily distracted, wondering if it was the effect of moonlight or not. "Do you know that you could've gotten yourself killed out there? Who knows if B is lurking in the shadows outside!"

This time, she eyed him coldly. "The only one who's lurking in the shadows is you, Ryuuzaki," she shot back at him. "Then again, I guess I shouldn't be surprised since this isn't the first time you've shunned your responsibilities."

And there she'd gone again, hitting him in his most sensitive place, and she did not mean below his belt.

L's jaw visibly tightened and his eyes were ablaze with an emotion deep and threatening but she refused to be frightened away like a rabbit or some other cute woodland creature. It was her duty, she thought, to ensure that justice was delivered and this man should be no exception.

He quickly got to his feet and walked over to her, rising to his full height, looking down at her, making her realize how tall he was.

Did he really think he could scare her like that?

"Don't you dare bring that up all the time!" he hissed.

"Why not?" she retorted, her own eyes bright with rage. "Do you honestly think that I'd let that go just because you mope around and flirt when it suits you?" Her gaze became slits. "You don't want to go and find B – it's much easier to sit on your butt and wait here while he takes off people one by one. I don't even know what you're waiting for!"

L opened his mouth to say something but she got there first, cutting off anything that he had to say.

"I suppose you'd rather stay here and watch your dirty videos and read your dirty magazines." The words were flowing from her lips like running water and a part of her didn't even know where they'd come from but they surfaced from her deep resentment of him and she wanted to hurt him – maliciously. "I know you've never risked your life for anything and so reason to start now, is there? You can have your fun with your other women – "

His lips came crashing down on hers; she hadn't even seen them coming and for a moment, her breath knocked out as she felt his arms around her waist, entrapping her with a warmth and security that she knew only to be a lie. Something akin to anger and competition awoke inside her and she kissed him back, more fiercely, refusing to be passive like the other day.

They struggled for dominance, kissed like they were fighting and she found herself pushing him roughly against the wall, numbly surprised at her strength, or rather, how easily he gave into her.

But then, all that was real to her were his arms and his lips, achingly familiar and behind closed eyelids, she felt herself suddenly tear up that they'd never really kissed after they got married, never really been together as man and wife.

She was the first one to wrench away from him, in an attempt to catch her breath and get a hold of herself (how had she lost control like that?) but she remained in his arms, her hands on his shoulders, feeling the strong muscles that he had.

She felt L's breath flutter on her skin as he gasped for breath and her eyes closed when his lips pressed gently against her throat in subtle desire.

"Don't be foolish," his voice was nothing more than an urgent whisper. "Other girls mean nothing to me compared to you."

She swallowed at that, her heart skipping a beat, in sorrow and in excitement. Deep down inside, she wanted to believe him, she really did but she was sure he was lying, only to get his own way…

Raito sighed in defeat. "It doesn't matter," she murmured in the dark, slightly dazed at how their strong argument had lead to this fierce embrace. She cleared her throat and steeled herself again, though making to move to withdraw from him. "And pulling lines like a hero from a bodice ripper romance doesn't fit you, Ryuuzaki." She gave him a little smirk.

He stared at her with a straight face. "Well," he deadpanned, "the only bodice I'd like to rip is yours."

She flushed to her hairline.

Really…sometimes he could be so…_blunt_.

They let go of each other awkwardly, avoiding each other's eyes and shuffling away as if they hadn't kissed passionately just moments before. Raito stepped away from him, nearing the bed, only to realize that she didn't really want to be close to the bed because it made her think of all the things they could do on the bed…

"You really shouldn't have gone all by yourself," L said softly, changing the subject, hands in his pockets, posture uncomfortable. "I was very worried, Raito-kun."

She was pleased that he sounded less angry and more reasonable now and some of her anger ebbed down, too. "I'm sorry," she replied, "but I did find something you might be interested in."

L quirked a questioning eyebrow at her, eager for her to continue.

A/N: Sorry I took so long for the update...been busy and lazy with work :(. So the mystery thickens and things are heating between our favorite detectives ;)! If you find any typos, please don't hesitate to point them out. I made this chapter a little longer, too. I'd like to finish this fic soon so I can start another murder mystery starring Raito/girl!L :D. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	14. Chapter 14

Raito quickly turned on her computer and looked over her shoulder to find that L was standing behind her, expectant, waiting to see what she had in store for him.

Should she ask him to sit, she wondered. Well, it was his house but it was _her_ room...she supposed that it wouldn't hurt to be courteous.

"You should sit down," she suggested, gesturing at the bed with her eyes.

To her surprise, he did what he was told.

She quickly connected her cell phone to the computer and waited for the images to load. L waited patiently and leaned forward when she finally had the picture she wanted to show to him.

"Oh," he breathed, looking closely at the picture, obsidian eyes astonished.

She smiled to herself smugly. "Yeah," she agreed. "Pretty amazing what a close-up look can tell you, huh?"

L ignored her taunt and focused on the image. "Two thousand-and-one," he murmured.

The numbers had been neatly carved on the collarbone of the female victim, tiny and black. She wasn't surprised that they hadn't seen it in the pictures. You had to see something like this in person, to take in all the details.

"Is it a year?" she asked him. "Did something happen between the two of you then?"

L shook his head. "No, I don't think so," he said. "B was already gone by then so there wasn't much contact between us then."

Raito frowned. "Then why would he write that?" she wondered aloud. "It doesn't make sense. Why would he keep writing nonsensical words and gibberish if he wants to give you a real message and take revenge? I don't think it's his motive to play games with us if he had no ends to achieve."

"Raito-kun has a point," said L. "I think...he might be giving us a location. Maybe he wants to meet me somewhere."

"And challenge you to a duel?" she was darkly amused.

"Perhaps," his mouth quirked cynically.

"It could be a childhood place that he liked to visit," she suggested, "he might have mentioned it to you."

L got up and pensively walked around the room. It was clear that he didn't remember much about B but he was raking through his mind, searching for a clue, a hint that the other man might have left him years ago.

"Now that you mentioned it," he said slowly. "There was one place that he once mentioned to me when we were in an empty classroom..."

Raito's ears perked up like a cat's and she straightened in her chair to hear him out.

"Two thousand-and-one," he muttered thoughtfully to himself, stopping and looking out the window, taking a hand out of his pocket so that he could press his finger against his teeth. "B liked spicy food a lot," he offered suddenly.

_Just like you adore sweets_, she thought secretly.

"There was one place he would keep slipping out to for that." L's face had this glazed, distant look as he recalled this particular part of his past. "I know this because one of the children told me that he would smell like spicy chicken." He looked at her. "B might want to meet me there."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Now the question is when."

They were quiet for a moment.

"So the clues hadn't been the letters this time," she said. "They were the numbers."

L nodded. "And it was very clever of him, too. He knew what we would be looking for and that's how he decided to give us a different hint this time." He eyed her cautiously. "Are you sure that no one followed you?"

"Positive," she answered confidently. "I kept checking."

"How did you go there?" he wanted to know.

"Uh, I got a taxi," she ran her fingers through her hair sheepishly.

"A taxi?" he tilted his head critically.

"Yeah, it was just there outside." She felt alarmed all of a sudden. "Why?"

"Did you get a look at the cab driver's face?" his voice was urgent now.

"I...I didn't really notice." For the first time that night, she was starting to feel guilty.

There was an unreadable look in his eyes. "Raito-kun," he uttered slowly. "From now on, pleased do not go anywhere without my permission. If you like, either Watari or I will accompany you."

"O-okay," she blinked at him, "but what's wrong?"

He was silent for a moment. "It could've been B in the cab," he said. "I don't wish for Raito-kun to take any risks. We have little idea how B moves and it isn't unlikely that he could be lurking outside, waiting for a chance to hurt us." He took a step towards her. "I'm glad you're all right."

"Yeah," she felt shaken. "Me, too." She eyed him warily. "Do you really think that B might've been...?"

"There's no telling. But I don't want to take any risks."

"Well, I don't think it was B. I mean, I'm still here, aren't I?"

He didn't say anything. Just looked at her for a long moment and then said, "I think you should move to a room closer to mine."

She rolled her eyes at that. "Come on, Ryuuzaki. It's not a big deal. I can take care of myself."

"Nevertheless," he said, dismissing her. "It would make me feel better."

"I'm not a kid, Ryuuzaki," she protested, though not vehemently. A part of her felt strangely warm that he was being so protective over her when he'd said something so mean just the other day... "And I thought you said that the world didn't revolve around me."

L looked into her eyes. "Let's pretend for now that it does."

Her heart skipped a beat when he said that and she hoped that she wasn't blushing. She turned her gaze away as he shuffled his feet and then she asked, "I can't move now, can I? With everyone asleep – there might not be a room ready for me."

"You could stay in my room," he suggested innocently.

She narrowed her eyes. "Now is not the time to flirt shamelessly, Ryuuzaki," she huffed but there was no change in his expression.

"I'm serious," he said.

"Look, it was just a cab drive, okay? I won't do it again." Scowling, she folded her arms and crossed her legs like a petulant child. "You should be more worried about the orphans. They're the ones he seems to be after."

* * *

Her period started in the morning.

She realized that when she opened her eyes and felt a stickiness between her legs and saw a splash of red on the white sheets.

Her cheeks colored. _Oh, crap_.

So Ryuuzaki had had a point yesterday when he said that she must be having her period.

A stab in the pit of her stomach further confirmed his guess and she rushed to the bathroom, ignoring the ache in her waist and her lower back.

Raito had come back to sleep in her room last night as she didn't trust herself to be in closed spaces with her estranged (and strange) husband and she had been feeling pretty tired after her excursion.

And now _this_.

She groaned. What was she going to do? She'd already changed to the proper..._attire_ but she was still very uncomfortable about anyone else knowing about her biological cycle.

And L made it his business to know everything that didn't concern him.

Her stomach was growling with hunger now and she really could do with a pill to ease her cramps but first things first.

Raito opened her door a crack and poked her head out, looking left and right like a cat burglar. The passage was empty, the floor clean and shining, except for a maid pushing a cart of supplies, her flat heels clicking on the ground.

Raito would never cease to be amazed at how this place sometimes resembled a hotel.

"Um, excuse me," she said in English, her voice low but loud enough to be heard. The maid stopped and turned towards her, eyes startled.

"I need a change of sheets," said Raito awkwardly. She half-expected the maid to ask why, but instead, the other woman nodded and pulled out a white bedsheet from one of the shelves of the cart. Raito stepped aside to let the maid enter. As the other woman drew up the stained sheets, Raito was pleased and relieved to find that the maid's features did not change. She was obviously used to seeing these things.

Raito sighed, watching the other woman put on the fresh sheets and crumple the stained one in a huge ball.

"Thank you," she smiled gratefully.

"You're welcome, miss," said the maid politely and was about to move past her when Ryuuzaki appeared at the door.

He looked a little groggy, which let her know that he'd just woke up. It surprised her because she would think to herself that he never slept.

"What's going on?" he asked in English; his voice was slightly huskier than usual, and he eyed them as if he had just caught them red handed.

"Nothing, Ryuuzaki," Raito answered quickly. "Everything's fine."

But L was still suspicious and when he looked at what was in the maid's arms more closely (why the hell wasn't she leaving?), he saw the ruby stains against the ivory.

Black eyes bulged.

"Oh," he said.

Raito turned red to her roots. She wished that the floor would magically turn into a living beast and swallow her up to save her from the embarrassment of a lifetime.

And _now_, the maid scattered past them and pushed the cart away, hurrying as if she couldn't wait to get away from the crime scene.

An awkward moment passed between them. And then L faced her smugly and said, "So I was right – this is why Raito-kun was crankier than usual."

Raito glared at him. "Oh, shut up."

* * *

No more new leads.

Sometimes Raito wasn't sure what she was doing here. During her stay in the last three weeks, it didn't feel like they'd made any new progress. Only letters, letters, letters – ones that made sense and did not make sense.

And L's convenient amnesia didn't make things any easier for her. Why did she have the feeling that he was hiding things deliberately from her?

In their dark room (clearly, that was what she had come to call it), L flapped his feet and consumed one snow pie after another like some sort of super eating machine while she drudged through the files, trying to make a connection. So far, these were the things they'd established:  
1.B and L knew each other.  
2.B was trying to get back at L by striving to become the best criminal in the world.  
3.The letters referred to events, and due to recent findings, an address.  
4.B liked seafood.

She put away the files and rubbed her eyes, staring up at the ceiling.

"You know," she addressed him, "I think you should just make a public announcement. Tell B that you're tired of playing all these guessing games and you just want to know what he wants from you."

L lifted a thin eyebrow quizzically at her. "That would be like announcing to the world that I am giving up on the case." His eyes hardened slightly. "I have no wish to admit defeat like that."

She rolled her eyes as though she were dealing with an unreasonable boy. "There's no need to be such a sore loser, Ryuuzaki," she told him pointedly. "You're too old for that."

L smirked. "Isn't the pot calling the kettle black, Raito-kun?" he glanced at her from his monitor. "I recall distinctly that you once threw a hissy fit because you lost backgammon to me thrice in a row."

A muscle twitched on her face. "That was different!" she hissed, glowering at him.

"My, my," said L dryly, "Raito-kun is quicker than usual to fly to a temper. Perhaps her time of the month is influencing her emotions more than she'd care to admit?"

Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish's. "Stop poking your nose in places where it doesn't belong," she chided him angrily. "And you should try using that sharp humor on B some time; I'd really like to see how he takes it."

This time, L was the one to pout unhappily. "You really know how to hit in the places that feel the worst," he murmured, discontent.

She smiled at him, pleased with herself. "You deserved it," she answered, undaunted. "You should be actively trying to catch B instead of picking on me."

He assented, "Raito-kun has made a good point."

"Damn right I have." She leaned back, supporting her weight on her palms, trying not to wince. Thank God the ache in her stomach had dulled due to the pill she'd taken at breakfast, but she was feeling tired now, wishing that she could just lie down and ease the pressure on her back...

"Are you okay?" L's eyes were on her now, concerned.

She straightened up, trying to put on an energetic facade. "Yeah, yeah. Just fine."

He didn't seem convinced. "Women tend to get tired easily during their monthly cycles," he stated in a professional tone, making Raito wince with its practicality. "They have cramps, lose their temper easily, suffer from backaches..."

"Yes, yes, I know from practical experience," she brushed him off, embarrassed. "You don't have to talk about it so..."

"Openly?" he filled in for her, earning another glare. He took no notice. "I would be most glad to give Raito-kun a back massage."

She eyed him quizzically. "A massage?" she echoed, dubious.

He held up pale hands, face totally innocent. "I solemnly swear that I have no intentions of monkey business. And besides, I'm pretty good at giving massages, too."

The offer was tempting, she admitted with a frown but, "Thanks, but I don't think..."

"It'll be no problem, Raito-kun," said the detective, crawling towards her in his crouched position. "Just lie on your stomach and relax."

Raito was confused for a few moments but watching him approach her like that someone swayed her reluctance, and she finally obeyed him but not without discomfort and nervousness.

"Just no funny business, okay?" she hated how pathetic she sounded as she rested on her stomach, arms folded beneath her chin.

"Absolutely," his voice sounded from above.

She took a deep breath and shut her eyes, waiting for the first encounter with his touch.

She gasped as the slender hands met with the center of her back, kneading the flesh softly, easing out the pressure points by gently pressing in his fingertips. Her eyes drifted shut on their own accord and pretty soon, she felt like she was floating on air without any worries, a weightless journey through a shimmer of cotton clouds...

"Quite soothing, isn't it?" said L softly, continuing with his massage.

"Mm hmm," she nodded, her guard going down. An alarm sounded mildly in the back of her back but she quickly shut the door on it. The massage felt good and that was what she could care about it at the moment.

"Raito-kun is more agreeable to interact with when she's in a state of comfort," he observed with amusement. "Perhaps she should get massages more often."

Her mouth curled in an almost-flirtatious smile that she knew he couldn't see. She had to admit that he had a point because she was in better spirits than before. But he was doing a perfect job with his massage and the only thing that could complete this experience would be a better surface to lie on. Because the floor was hard.

"Are you offering?"she said lazily; she didn't have to look back to see that he was smiling as well.

"If Raito-kun wishes," came his reply. "Even after we are divorced, I wouldn't mind coming to Japan to ease the tension in her muscles if she required it."

Ignoring the suggestive tone, she smirked a bit. "I'll be sure to let you know," she responded dryly. Her eyes opened. "Where did you learn to give such good massages?"

L took a moment to reply. "I used to work as a masseur before I became a private investigator," he said with a straight face.

Despite herself, Raito burst into laughter. She twisted her head so that she could look at him, and she was surprised to find a small smile on his lips, too.

He looked rather nice when he smiled.

"Come on," she said, laughter dying down, body becoming still again. "Tell me the truth."

His eyes were wide with mock-innocence. "But it _is_ the truth," he objected, and then glancing away, "I am hurt to find that Yagami-kun thinks me a liar."

She rolled her eyes, reluctantly smiling. "Well, you once admitted to me that you lie all the time," she pointed out to him, a shadow of bad memories briefly touching her heart as she recalled their former passions.

(Yes, he'd definitely lied about loving her.)

"Raito-kun is exploiting what I said to her in a moment of weakness," L deadpanned, but there was a deeper meaning to his words than what anyone could see on the surface. "I lie only when it is necessary.

_You mean, when it suits you_, thought Raito and she rolled her eyes once again. There were so many things she could've said to that but she made a choice to keep the peace between them. "Come on, L, tell me where you learned to give massages."

"My mother taught me," he replied, startling her. "She used to get joint aches all the time so she taught me to do this."

She said nothing for a moment; she was still surprised at how this was the first time L had actually said anything about his parents – okay, just his mother, but it was a good start! - and curiosity bloomed inside her like a secret flower, making her want to know more.

"And..." she wondered how she could put this tactfully. "Your father? Did you know him?"

L's facial expression did not change. "Never met him," he answered. "My mother told me he'd died before I was born. But she still wore her wedding ring."

Raito thought of how she'd kept hers even when she'd thought that she would never hear from L again. The parallel was mildly disconcerting.

"What happened to her?" she couldn't help asking, resting her head on her palm, elbow on the floor.

"She was killed in an accident when I was seven," he glanced at her then, expression unreadable. "I lived in an orphanage in London for about a year before Watari found me and brought me here."

"I see." Raito's pulse with racing with excitement from getting all this information that L was voluntarily offering – not that she was complaining, of course.

"Yes." His hand had stopped now and he held her gaze intensely, and she was at a loss for words so all she could tell him was a quiet, "I'm sorry."

To her astonishment, he smiled. "There's no need to be, Raito-kun. You weren't the person driving the car that killed her."

A/N: Gah, sorry this chapter is so short. I've been so busy with...fasting and being lazy, not to mention writer's block smiles sheepishly. Starting working on a Raitoxgirl!L oneshot, about 2500 words done, I think and I posted something called _Vignette Collection_, if you're interested :).

Yes, L is a gentleman in spite of the perverted jokes he makes and I suppose he has qualms about seeing his wife naked o.o And he might reading dirty magazine, I really wouldn't be surprised... Regarding girl!L, well, I admit I prefer L as the submissive one but one must keep in mind that there is no fixed top/bottom in this pairing ;). There are also ways to dominate by being submissive...not that I know, of course lol.

And I need more ideas for this fic so suggestions are appreciated. Feedback is love!


	15. Chapter 15

It was quiet.

And raining.

Raito rested her hand on the window pane and pressed her face against the glass, thoughtfully watching the falling sheets trickle down, the view hazed in rain. She'd heard that the weather in London was pretty bad as it rained frequently but this was the first time that she was witnessing just a rainstorm in Winchester.

She'd talked to Misa a few hours ago, the blonde's high-pitched voice still ringing in her ears as she recalled what they were talking about.

"So how's Teru doing?" Raito had asked out of plain curiosity as she twiddled a loose thread on her skirt absently, her thoughts wandering to greener pastures.

"Busy with exams," replied Misa, and she could hear the older woman clank pots and pans in the kitchen. No doubt the model was up to whipping up a delicious caramel pudding for her fiancé. "I trying to come up with something really sugary to help him with the finals and that dreadful interview he has the day after tomorrow."

Inside, Raito's heart darkened when she thought of how much L would have liked Misa's pudding. _She_ could make pudding. She'd made him that fruit salad, hadn't she?

"What interview?" she asked, mildly interested.

"Oh, you know." Now there was the sound of an electric beater whipping through eggs and milk, no doubt. "Yotsuba wants him as a lawyer in their firm. He still isn't done with his course yet but they insist that he join as soon as finals are over."

"Ah," the brown-haired woman smiled, a mischievous glint in her chestnut eyes. "So he has a job at last?"

"Apparently, yeah."

"Any plans to take it to the next level?"

"Raito!" Misa scolded, and the sound of the incessant beating stopped for a moment as her voice dropped, almost shy. "You know, he was here the other night," she confided secretly, "and he was hinting that he might like a September wedding."

"September?" exclaimed Raito, her beautiful face breaking into a grin. "That's great."

"You're coming, right?"

"Well, yeah," the younger woman frowned. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know," a playful tone, "was just wondering if things had heated up between your tall, dark husband and you, that's all."

Raito's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Ryuuzaki and she took a minute to compose herself. "What about him?" she asked carefully, playing the innocent card.

"Has anything happened between you?" Misa asked more directly.

"No. What would happen?" Raito forced out a dry laugh and leaned back in her chair. "We're going to divorce as soon as this case is solved. What could happen?"

"Hmm, you sound like you're trying to hide something."

"I'm not trying to hide anything because there is nothing to hide."

"That reminds me," said Misa, changing the subject. "Sayu called me and asked me to ask you if you had worn the red dress." A pause as she probably poured out the mixture on a baking tray, and a slam as the oven door shut. "I didn't know you'd taken a red dress."

Raito thought of lying, but lying would only imply that she was guilty and she didn't believe she was. She sighed. "Sayu gave me this red sleeveless dress when I came here." And grudgingly, "She told me I should wear it to make Ryuuzaki regret leaving me."

"And did it work?" Misa asked curiously, her blue eyes wide.

"No, because I didn't wear it," said Raito decidedly.

"And are you going to wear it?"

"No, because I don't want him to regret anything. I just regret ever marrying him."

"You're being too forceful, Raito," Misa suddenly sounded wise and perceptive. "You're obviously in denial."

Raito almost snarled. "_I am not in denial_."

Misa sighed as though she were dealing with a stubborn child. "Yeah, of course." She paused. "I gotta jet now, Raito, just give me a call tomorrow if you can."

Looking back on the conversation, Raito swallowed, realizing that...Misa was right, because she really was in denial about how she felt about her "tall, dark" husband. They hadn't talked much lately, for B had fallen silent again and the whole town was sleeping and she wanted to go outside and feel the rain on her skin, but L would be mad because he hated it when she didn't listen to him.

Without doubt, the detective was a possessive man and he'd hurt her, yet keep her only to feel that she was his; but Raito was no toy and so, she refused to be treated like one.

Nevertheless, her treacherous heart was on the verge of betraying her and the walls that she'd built around herself in the last two years were slowly crumbling, brick by brick, soon to lie in a heap of rubble. And even when she tried to deny it, tried to still her fluttering heart (Shakespeare must be really growing on her), she still felt uneasy when she saw Ryuuzaki in the dining hall or in the corridor, or once, in the library.

He'd been there yesterday morning. Tucked right behind the shelves at the back, perched on a wooden chair, reading a worn-out copy of _War and Peace_. Raito had never read _War and Peace_ and right now, epic philosophical novels didn't appeal to her when she had so much on her plate. But it was too late; L had already spotted her and he quietly patted the seat beside him. She was about to shake her head in refusal but his onyx eyes bore into hers, and he gently held out a plate to her.

"Would you like some of my cake?" he asked innocently.

It was then that she decided that he truly was a manipulative bastard. Not that it was anything new.

So she'd sat beside him and taken some of his cake – just one fork – and chewed it slowly. She'd come here looking for a newspaper because there were none to be found downstairs, and now, she saw that there was a fresh copy of The Times lying on the table. Quickly, she grabbed it, but L spoiled her.

"No new murders," he turned over a page of his novel, "maybe B's taken a vacation."

That was unbelievable. But he said it with such a straight face that she couldn't understand if he was kidding or not.

"I was joking, Raito-kun,"he said with the same innocent look, getting under her nerves.

"Of course," she replied somewhat grumpily and then turned the pages quickly, scanning for more news.

Raito didn't remember much of what happened after that, except that she had to sit beside him for two hours while he droned on something about _War and Peace_ being one of the greatest pieces of literature and she really should let him read to her some time. And all she could think about was being pushed up against the shelves with his lips on her neck, losing herself in –

No, no, perverted thoughts, she was not going along those lines, it was just those stupid hormones, but she was twenty years old, and she wasn't supposed to feel like a goofy, agitated teenage girl every time L looked her way. And she hated him for it.

Twin footsteps startled her out of her thoughts and she looked behind to find Mello and Near standing at the door of the living room where she had been seated all along. And the way their eyes were watching her made her almost squirm. Mello's eyes accusing and Near's eyes just...observant, like he didn't really care about what was going on. She thought that he reminded her of L sometimes, except that L was more human. As was the boy Mello.

"Uh, hello," she greeted them in English. She was becoming more and more comfortable using English and she didn't think the day was far when she would be able to speak it like a native. And as for L, he still addressed her in Japanese. She didn't mind: it was nice to have someone to talk with in your mother tongue.

"What's up?" she tried again, not liking the way they were still looking at her, and she wished that she could do something to lighten the mood. Or get rid of them, for that matter. She got along with all of the orphans, it was just these two that unnerved her.

They didn't say anything. Just kept watching her. And then the boy named Mello asked, "Can we come in?" His voice was rough, but he had forced himself to polite. She deduced that he wasn't very good at being polite with other people, especially not his elders. She made herself smile and she said, "Of course."

Mello stepped in, black leather hugging every inch of him, long blond hair framing his face. She frowned inwardly, thinking that he looked like a girl and his outfits were ridiculous, reminding her of Misa. Near was just like in his baggy white shirt, blue jeans and bare feet. Were they related? She did not think so.

The two teenagers sat beside her, at the end of the couch, facing her where she sat near the window. They stared at her and she started back, with a bad feeling that they knew something she didn't want them to.

(God, would they stop looking at her like that?)

It was Near who spoke first, as though he'd been waiting all along to strike, like a deadly snake.

"You're not just L's associate, are you?" he asked, the question piercing the air like a dagger.

Raito's smile froze on her face but she quickly recovered. "Of course I am," she replied, "what makes you think I'm not?"

In Mello's blue eyes was a predatory gleam. "We saw you kissing in front of the stairs," he responded, resting his elbows on his thighs, appearing totally relaxed. "So are you his girlfriend or something?"

"That's a rather personal question to ask, wouldn't you say, Mello?"

It was L, standing calmly behind the sofa. Raito hadn't noticed him come in but she was grateful for his presence, even more when she saw him standing straight, as if to look threatening to the teenagers.

It worked, for they were visibly unnerved now and they made as if to slink away in the shadows.

"We were just curious," Mello mumbled resentfully, not meeting the dark pair of eyes looking down at him. Near didn't seem particularly concerned about anything around him and he had given to twirling a lock of white blond hair about his index finger. Raito felt a ridiculous urge to ask him why his hair was like that.

L looked slightly amused by Mello's reply. "Yes," he said with a tilt of the head, "but curiosity killed the cat."

Mello didn't know what to say to that, other than mutter a half-hearted apology and he quickly left the room with Near. Outside, they both heard Mello hissing to the other boy, "Well, some help you were!"

L gave a small smile at that but Raito wasn't amused at all. He noticed.

"You all right?" he asked quietly, perching beside her on the couch, one hand on his feet.

She swallowed and looked down at the floor. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I apologize for their behavior," said L courteously. "Sometimes they forget their manners and how they should talk with a stranger."

She nodded non-committally.

"What were you doing here by yourself?" he wondered, looking very interested.

"Just watching the rain, Ryuuzaki," she replied. "Enjoying some time alone."

"Oh," he said slowly, as though he were making a goofy realization. "Would Raito-kun like me to leave, then?" he started to get up.

The sensible thing to do was to let him go because she really did want some solitude. She got to her feet, following him. "No, I'll just go to my room." She turned to leave but a simple tug on her sleeve and a warm hand pressing to her arm stopped her. Surprised, she titled her head back to find his intense gaze bearing into hers.

"Are you sure you're okay?" L prodded gently. "You look a little off."

"It's no big deal," she shook her head; she wasn't about to tell him that he was the cause of her anxiety.

"Are you homesick?" he asked. "Have you talked to your family?"

"Yeah, I have," she was about to go again when the next thing he said made her stop in her tracks like a deer in the headlights.

"I'm worried about you, Raito-kun."

It wasn't anything new; she'd heard him say that a dozen times before, when she was eating or sleeping properly, but something about the way he said it now caught her attention. Because it sounded more gentle, more caring...

Logic told her that she ought to leave. That this was just another one of his tricks to tie her to him and she shouldn't allow it. But his eyes were soft when she looked into them and she forgot why she wanted to leave in the first place – and soon, she felt his spindly hands rest on her waist and pull her closer, lips meeting hers, and then moving to kiss her neck.

Her hands were on his arms, neither pulling or pushing at him. She felt like a mannequin, just standing there, numb – only until she felt the nip of his teeth on her skin.

"Ryuuzaki," her features scrunched up in discomfort, but it didn't gentle when he turned gentle again. "L, stop."

Almost immediately, he pulled back, Raito still in his arms. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice deeper than usual.

Raito pushed him away. "I'm not a blow-up doll, Ryuuzaki," she hissed at him.

Onyx eyes hardened. "No," he replied. "You're too volatile to be one."

Glaring at him, she decided to let that remark pass. "I wish you'd stop," she hated how weak and angry she sounded. Like she was some woman having a midlife crisis because she couldn't make up her mind. One minute she was letting him pull her closer and kiss her, the next she was yelling at him and pushing him away, confusing herself, not even knowing what she was saying.

"Stop?" he asked. Like he had no damn idea.

"I wish you'd stop playing with me," the words just flew out of her mouth like hail. She waited for him to say something, something irritating like _Why would you think I was playing?_ but he instead met her with silence, waiting for her to go on.

"You can't keep..._doing_ that when you please," she spat, her face heating like a furnace. "It's not fair. Or right."

"But you seem to enjoy it every time," he pointed out coolly. "And we're married, aren't we?"

"Don't you dare pull that married crap on me!" she cried angrily, making her hands into fists. "There was no 'marriage' when you walked out on me, and don't pretend after all these years that you actually give a damn!"

Wow, that had been sudden. She'd no idea where that had come from, but it was true and she refused to look away from him, daring him to make a good come-back. A part of her desperately wanted him to offer a reason, an excuse for his behavior two years ago, something that she could use to justify herself. But he just kept staring at her, like she were a lab rat, something to be observed with interest.

Her heart sank.

Was there...nothing that he would say to her?

L just stared.

And that was it.

Finally, with a defeated sigh, she turned around and left.

* * *

She smiled when she saw the bright lights peeking from under her door, a yellow, mysterious puddle that made her want to step on it. She turned back to her mirror and fixed the strap of her red dress, tilting her head and admiring her reflection. 

It had been Roger's idea. The children were so depressed after little Jake's demise that the older man thought they might need some cheering up. So Watari and L had made arrangements with the cook for a variety of tasty dishes, whose aromas she could smell even from her bedroom, and the maids to do interior decorations. And L had asked _her_ to oversee this.

"Since Raito-kun is not occupied with anything useful," he said to her as she sulked in the corridor, playing absently with a toy car escaped from Near's room (what was wrong with her?). "I suggest she go downstairs and look over what they're doing."

"Why don't you do that?" she'd shot back at him petulantly, brows pursed in a scowl.

He appeared to think about this for a moment. "That is a valid question," he allowed, "which I'm not going to answer." And from the tone of his voice, he sounded decided about what he wanted her to do.

It was odd, to standing behind the scenes and oversee everything that was going on as though she was the mistress of huge piece of property like a heroine in a classical romance; telling the maids that no, the confetti goes here, the balloons go there, the cook he should make more desserts for dinner because most of the children appeared to have a sweet tooth, and everything should be ready and in place by the time they were going downstairs for dinner.

Raito felt silly now, dressing up like she was going to some fancy party when it was just a cheerful get-together, and as she fingered the red strap, her thoughts drifted back to what her sister had said before she came here.

_As soon as he sees how hot you look, he'll realize what an idiot he's been, and come crawling back to you._

She sighed. What wishful thinking, that such a manipulative bastard could regret anything he'd done to anyone; for him, it was all about him own advantages, business transactions. Their marriage had been one such transaction and he'd discarded her as soon as she became an inconvenience; and as soon as he needed her, he was back in her life, trying to weasel his way in like a...weasel.

Perhaps she shouldn't have worn this dress. Maybe she should've chosen something more conservative because this one showed off her shoulders too much...

God, why did she have to listen to Sayu's advice

There was a gentle rapping on the door right then. It was L, wearing his same old jeans and T-shirt and clearly, she was a fool to even think that he would consider brushing his hair, which was as messy as ever. She took a deep breath and stepped out, closing the door, wondering what he wanted, because if he thought that she was going to let him escort her like a date or something...then he was obviously more deluded than she thought.

She was about to say something sharp to L since the very sight of him irritated her but the way he was gaping at her took her aback.

"What?" she said with narrowed eyes.

"Raito-kun looks very beautiful," L said, his eyes large with awe.

She almost blushed. Almost.

"Well, thank you." She couldn't possibly be snippy with him now. Though maybe she could be a little more...insulting.

"Sayu told me to take this dress," she offered boldly.

"Did she?" he quirked a thin eyebrow.

"She said that once you see me in this dress, you'll regret taking off on me." Raito smiled mildly, challengingly, the only way to be rude to him without being...rude.

"Well, then Sayu is right," he answered, surprising her, "because I regret it very much."

The reply shocked her and she blanched for a split second because he seemed so calm and composed, but he was looking at her so intensely that her throat felt parched.

She shifted uneasily. "Let's go down."

He walked slowly behind her like a pet dog, his gaze raising the hairs on the back of her neck, which was barer than she wanted. She refused to shiver, and instead, kept her composure like an ice princess. Strangely she felt like this was a scene from _Beauty and the Beast_, where she was Belle and L was the Beast, and any moment now, the children and the others at Wammy's House would break into a song about true love or something stupid like that. It was stupid because Raito knew that there was no such thing as true love, at least, not with L.

It was her turn to be wide-eyed when she entered the living-room. There was soft music playing in the background and the confetti and decorations looked more colorful in the night than in the day.

"Wow," she breathed, and then she saw the children gathered on the couch and on the floor, the blaring of the TV suddenly drowning out the sound of the music, the only disruption. Nonetheless, she found herself smiling at the sight, finally happy to see something less depressing. A child ran past her to the dinner table and she quickly patted him on the head.

"Ah, Miss Yagami," Roger stepped forward with a charming smile, Watari following suit. "It's lovely to see you here. You did such a wonderful job."

"Thank you," Raito found herself flushing. "Though I didn't do much."

The older men laughed at her answer. And then they turned to the detective and Watari said, "There are enough desserts on the table, thanks to Raito." His blue eyes twinkled. "Help yourself."

When they were gone, L turned to Raito quizzically. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut up."

"I'm so honored," he said, annoying her even more.

Raito, despite L's interested looks at her (damn, why did she have to wear this dress?), decided to stay away from him for the rest of the occasion. She sat at the table with her plate of food on her lap, her long legs crossed as she ate slowly. Mello and Near were on the couch, along with this redhead boy whose name she did not know, and L was perched beside them, having a piece of strawberry cheesecake and eyes glued to the TV.

Really, he was such a kid.

"How are things going with you?"

She looked up to find Watari smiling gently at her and she smiled back. "Everything's all right," she replied gracefully.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" asked the older man.

She shook her head. "Not at all. It would be nice to have some company." It would be nice to have the company of someone who _wasn't_ L.

"Thank you," the scientist – _former_ scientist – pulled out a chair and sat beside her. She noticed then that he was having a simple bowl of soup.

"Why don't you try some of the main courses, Watari-san?" she suggested cordially.

"Ah, that's all right," he smiled at her again. "At this age, one does not need to eat much, Yagami-kun. A bowl of hot, nutritious soup is enough."

She nodded. They ate quietly, exchanging small talk every now and then, and then she asked curiously, "If you don't mind me asking, don't you have a family of your own?"

"Yes. I have my wife and three children back in London."

"You don't go to see them?"

He chuckled. "Of course I do. Actually I stay with them most of the time when we come to England."

"Do they know about this place."

"Only the bare necessities. We need to protect the inhabitants of Wammy's House as much as possible."

Raito stared at him. "So your family has never been here?"

He smiled. "Just once, when this place was being built. They have their own lives to think of now." He didn't sound bitter about that at all. "My sons have this joint business. One of them is engaged. My daughter is already married. So the last thing on their mind is Wammy's House."

And then a professional voice sounded from the TV, catching everyone's attention.

"We interrupt this program for a special bulletin."

All eyes turned to fix on the wide LCD screen of the television.

"_Police has just found the body of an Asian woman in the dumpsters this afternoon._" The bulletin showed the mangled corpse of a lady, face bruised, eyes closed with the lids purple. "_This mark was found on her body_." The camera closed in and Raito's eyes grew large when she saw -

- the kanji of her name carved on the chest of the woman.

"_The symbol appears to be Japanese, though police have yet to figure out what it means. A translator has been called and_ – " The news broadcast was cut off as Roger quickly turned off the TV.

* * *

Silenced reigned. The children's faces were pale with shock and fear. Perhaps they had guessed that the same killer who got Jake had got this woman, too. 

Trying to keep his cool, L turned back to look where Raito was sitting, only to find that her chair was empty.

She was in her room, pacing furiously, like he'd never seen her before and she merely glanced his way when he went inside and closed the door behind him.

"Raito-kun," he began slowly, his own emotions and fears threatening to spill over at the realization of the danger they were in.

"I want an investigation," she demanded, pausing to look him straight in the eyes, agitated. "I want to know who the hell this guy is, where he's hiding and how he knows my name – "

"Raito-kun," he said in an attempt to calm her down, "you're tired. I understand that you're very stressed but you need rest. I'll send Watari immediately to tend to you..."

"No!" she shouted at him suddenly, startling him. She glared at him. "I don't want you treating me like I'm some of fragile houseguest you have to take care of." This time she was trembling with rage. "I told you that I would solve the case no matter what. Don't think I'm going to back off now that my own life is in danger!"

L was about to point out that he had said nothing about her backing off from the case but he decided against it. Raito was afraid and she wasn't thinking straight and it was up to him to look after her best interests.

He sighed. "Come to my study," he said quietly. "We'll see what we can do."

* * *

It had begun to rain again. There was lightning on the sky like camera flashes. 

L was on the phone, talking to Watari at the station. The older man had gone soon after watching the news and he informed the detective that they would get the information in the morning, as soon as the official formalities were done.

Raito was staring out of the window pensively, watching the falling rain.

"Okay," said L into his cell phone. "All right then." He hung up and looked at her. "We have to wait until morning."

"All right," she said, her voice sounding faraway, less passionate than it had half-an-hour ago. Her arms were folded on her chest, frame leaning against the window.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

It took her a moment to reply. He wondered if she'd heard him at first.

"There's a madman out there," she said in that thoughtful distant tone again. "Watching us...watching me..."

He stared at her. The words were chilling indeed but he knew that he couldn't afford to be daunted. Because whatever he was, he was most certainly not a coward.

Feet padding lightly across the wooden floor, he went to stand behind and gently, his arms encircled her waist, warm face pressing against her shoulder. Her skin was cool, he felt, perhaps with fear, and he wished that he would warm her up.

"I'll protect you," he said softly. "I won't let anything happen to you."

She drew a deep, shuddering breath and said nothing for a moment. Just kept looking at the rain. He stood behind her, holding her, taking comfort in her closeness. He didn't want to leave her side even for a second, pressing his nose to her sweet perfume.

Suddenly, she turned around and fell against him, resting her forehead to his shoulder, trembling like a leaf. His arms tightened around her protectively.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Raito," he said again, lips brushing against her hair. She turned drew back to look up at him, a light in her beautiful eyes, as though she were comforted by his promise.

* * *

Raito wasn't sure how it happened but she was moving on her own accord, drawing him down so that her lips could meet his, her arms wrapping about his neck. He was surprised at first but he responded to the kiss ardently. 

It wasn't long before the red dress and the white T-shirt and jeans were puddled in a corner of the room. Her back was pressed against the floor, sandwiched between its hardness and the softness of L. Her heart was knocking on her chest with nervousness, the whole newness of what was happening.

The pain was brief but sharp, though the good thing was that it passed over quickly enough. The only light in the room was coming from the computer monitor and she noted in the back of her mind how ethereal he looked as he moved above her, his dark eyes piercing hers. And the only sounds in the room were the gentle hum of the computer, and their heavy breathing.

Together they were spiraling to greater heights in their impassioned dance, and Raito felt afraid of this impending loss of control, but L's grip on her skin gave her courage and certainly, and so she followed him.

She heard him choke a cry against her neck and she gasped when they finally reached that peak, melding together as one being, the world perfect and blissful. His weight collapsed on top of her as they both tried to catch their breaths, basking in the sunlight of the aftermath.

And she wasn't sure when she drifted off to sleep but she was awoken in the depth of the night when L's warmth left her. She looked behind herself drowsily to find that he was back at her side, pulling a blanket over them both, wrapping an arm around her waist as they both went back to sleep.

A/N: Woo hoo! They finally consummated their marriage! (Hence the M rating ;))  
I'm sorry I took so long to update, been lazy and working on Death Note oneshots that have yet to be completed and posted :(. Many thanks to thenightwanderer and Serria for helping out. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and it was worth the wait ;). Please don't hesitate to tell me what you think!


	16. Chapter 16

Sunlight was dull the next morning when Raito opened her eyes to find the glass illuminated; she groaned softly, sleepily and then stretched to ease in the tension in her muscles – only to find herself pressing against another, warm (and very bare) body just behind her.

Her eyes flew wide open like saucers.

Holding her breath, she dared a glance over her shoulder, wincing when she saw that familiar skin stretched against her, its owner in peaceful slumber. Trying not to gasp loudly, she turned away with shock and moved to bury her face on the pillow, only to find that she had been using L's arm as one all along.

_Oh, no…_

She groaned again as memories of last night came resurfacing like a fish pulled by a hook in the water. She squeezed her eyes shut. They'd…they'd…

Well, the first word that she could think of _consummation _and on legal terms, that's what they'd done last night – for the first time. She preferred to think of it that way actually. It was less complicated, more distant and professional-sounding than an expression like…_making love._

_Last night, they had made love for the first time._

She shook her head. No, this had not been supposed to happen. She'd been supposed to keep her feelings out of this, her head cool, and solve this stupid, soul-destroying case, not give herself to him at the time when she was most vulnerable.

She remembered it clearly, everything she'd felt, everything they'd done. And perhaps, what was worse is that she couldn't blame it on drunkenness or something – she'd been totally sober last night. Sure, she'd been upset about B knowing her name…but how upset would she have to be to sleep with her husband?

_Her husband…_

Who was now stirring awake, and once again, she held her breath, trying to move away from him and go back to her own room while there was still time…

"Raito-kun."

_Oh, crap._

She felt his hot breath on the back of her hair, raising the little hairs, making her heart skip a beat. She didn't have to look behind to know that L was staring at her calmly, hair all messed up, trying to make sense of it all.

Her breath felt like it was caught in her throat and it wasn't sure how to pass out from her nose. She heard his husky tone, felt his arms around her but there was no logical course of thought on her mind about how she should deal with this.

L had said her name. Should she say something back?

So she decided to utter the first thing she could think of.

"Yes?"

She expected him to laugh, like men did in the movies. She expected him to draw her closer and kiss her nape or something and make a joke like _Last night was one of the best nights of my life._ But L, being L, simply kept quiet, as though _he_ were waiting for _her_ to make the first move and decide if they were going to call it quits or get back together.

And Raito wasn't the type of girl to change her mind just for the sake of sex. No man could buy her love with cheap physicalities, especially not L, for he always had an ulterior motive in everything he did and she would hardly be surprised if he did what he had done last night solely for the purpose of keeping her with him.

_Now isn't it unfair to put the blame for everything on him? After all, you weren't exactly _reluctant_, were you?_

Damn her conscience.

"Ryuuzaki," she uttered with a simple nod, gazing straight ahead. The computer was still on, though the light from the monitor still not bright as it had been last night and she could see a message flashing on the docking bar, the little yellow envelope turning dim and bright at regular intervals.

But she didn't have time to dwell on this or tell him to check his messages because he was gently pressing his mouth to her hair, sending shock waves down her spine. It thrilled her but she couldn't give in.

"Ryuuzaki," she said again, lashes lowered, quietly pushing him back with her elbow. He allowed her to, waiting to see what she would do. He followed her when she sat up, the sheets urgently clutched to her chest, Her brown hair fell on her eyes as she raked through her consciousness for anything that she would offer as an excuse.

"Look," he spoke first, as though he were searching for the right words (Ryuuzaki searching for the right words? Hah!). "About last night…"

"It won't happen again," Raito found herself blurting out. At the ensuing silence, she felt like biting off her own tongue; it wasn't like her to say whatever came to her mind, she had more tact than that. But L always had the worst effect on her. That much was obvious.

This time, the young woman risked a glance over her shoulder. Her husband was eyeing her in the most curious, irritable way, his black orbs slightly hardened and that was when she realized that she had offended him.

That, and she'd been staring at his pale, bare chest.

"It won't happen again?" he echoed. He wasn't in his usual crouching position; from the corner of her eye, she perceived that his long legs stretched out beside hers under the covers in a parody of intimacy.

"We were," she began carefully as though she were trying to explain the situation to herself, "_intimate_ last night."

L gazed at her but said nothing.

"And I don't want you to get any ideas," she said, voice steeling, "because it's not going to happen again."

"Not going to happen again?" he tilted his head inquisitively at her and she felt like a suspect being cross-examined under a harsh bulb light.

"It was just a one-time thing," she said. She was starting to get annoyed with him. And with herself.

"I see," he replied meditatively. "So it was a one-time thing."

"Yes," she nodded and her words felt like poison in her throat.

"Hmm." The raven-haired detective drew his knees to his chest and started chewing on his hangnail. The next thing that he said sounded specially provocative and resentful.

"I know now that even Raito-kun can lower herself to meaningless trysts for all her talk of virtue and responsibility."

She whipped her head to look him in the eyes, utterly surprised. "What did you say?" she demanded in a low, threatening voice.

"Raito-kun is always telling me about how she is determined to end our marriage when we have solved this case," he said icily, his attitude surprising her even more because she had never known him to be rancorous. He always acted aloof, like nothing could get to him. And now…he was acting in the total opposite way.

"And now, not only has she slept with me," he continued pitilessly. "She is telling me that it was just a 'one-time thing'."

She gaped at him. "Then what do you expect me to say?" she asked exasperatedly. "Surely you didn't expect me to come back running to your arms because Ryuuzaki, you were the one who turned his back on our marriage!"

"Perhaps it would have been better if you hadn't seduced me in the first place," he retorted coldly.

"Seduced you?" she cried in disbelief. "I did no such thing!"

"Kindly inform your sister that the red dress does indeed work wonders," he commented snidely.

This was the last time she was gaping at him like a fish. With a completely wounded pride, as though she'd been 'dumped', she hurried to the corner, dragging the covers as far as they would let her. At one point, L stopped her when she'd reached the end and she scowled at him.

"Turn around," she snapped at him.

He did so but not without saying that there was nothing new to see.

Raito narrowed her eyes at that but she decided to let the insult slide as she quickly threw on her clothes. (Oh, that stupid red dress, why had she made the mistake of wearing it last night?)

When she was done, she got to her feet and looked down at him balefully like an avenging angel and he looked back at her unflinchingly.

"I hate you," she hissed angrily, really feeling the words.

His expression did not change at all. "The feeling is mutual, Raito-kun," he assured her.

The words pierced her right in the heart. She hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind her as loudly as she could; later, she would come to see it as something so juvenile, unbefitting of her.

It was only until she was in the safety and privacy of her own room that she leaned against the door and burst into tears.

* * *

"Watari," said L as he sipped his coffee. "Would you please call Ms. Yagami so that she can take a look at these photos?"

Watari gave him a discreet look as he picked up the silver tray, making no comment. "As you wish, Ryuuzaki," he agreed, and then left the study.

L watched the door close behind the retired scientist before grimly turning back to the monitor. Damn, he should have put in more sugar cubes. He took a deep breath and scrolled down to get a fix on the kanji on the woman's chest.

_So you've lost your virginity._

Well, that wasn't as sentimental to him as it was to her...

But in his mind's eye, he saw her beautiful face, brown eyes gazing up at him with undisguised adulation, her slim arms around entwined around his neck, lips curling in a pleased smile...

Oh, heck, who was he kidding? It was amazing for him, to share that one night of honesty with his wife whilst at other times, they hid behind a mask of indifference and bitterness but he now knew in his heart that he was still in love with her. He had been for a while.

(A while? He'd fallen for her the moment he laid eyes on her the very first time when they'd met that day...)

It wasn't a secret that he was very dismayed that B had found out his greatest secret of all. His heart had almost stopped beating when he'd seen the news flash last night, her unmistakable name on the body of a woman neither of them had seen before.

But how had B found out this information? L had married Raito in secret and they hadn't gone anywhere together in England, and he hardly thought that B had been there in Japan when they'd met. Of course, perhaps B had seen Raito going to the police station and he'd somehow discovered her name. Or maybe he knew how and when L moved around so he could've been in London when they'd arrived.

But it was all so impossible! L had always kept information about himself confidential and there were hardly any pictures of him and Raito.

(What a wedding that had been, waiting for her to sneak out of her house in the dead of the night so that they could go to a notary office in his limo. He had done many impulsive things in his life but this one took the cake.)

He was still miffed about this morning, naturally. When they'd been apart, he would often imagine waking up beside her like they were an old married couple. They'd have tea and talk and spend the day just being...together.

_So much time we've wasted._

However, her harsh words and latent insecurity had ruined their would-have-been perfect morning (well, perfect if not for the murder) and now they were both hurting. Or maybe it was just him because Raito always kept talking about how she wanted to divorce him and move on with her life.

He frowned and put his tea away – he didn't want to think of divorce. Not right now. Not ever.

A knock on the door.

His wife came in sullenly, wearing a brown sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, as though in protest of what she'd worn last night. And after that.

He could see her dark hair even darker from a shower, which reminded him that he hadn't showered yet. Trust Raito to never compromise points of hygiene.

"Good morning," he said with pretend-cheerfulness like nothing happened and she just cast him a brusque glance before promptly deciding to ignore him.

Hmm, well he couldn't say that he hadn't seen _that_ coming.

She sat down on the floor deliberately a few feet away from him, just near the place where they'd done the deed only hours ago (ten, to be exact) and now she was looking at the screen, pretending that there was something very interesting there.

Well, besides the photo of the dead body.

"Watari has put some tea and biscuits for you there," he said conversationally as he took a bite from his strawberry croissant. Suddenly, at the sight of Raito, the croissant did not taste as sweet as before.

"That's very nice of him," muttered Raito but she made no move to fetch her breakfast.

Inwardly, L rolled his eyes. Just what was her problem? Was she still ticked off about their heated exchange this morning? She was the one who had started it. She was the one who kept telling him that she would have nothing to do with him once this case was over, and then she let him make love to her, only to coldly inform him that it was just a _one-time thing_ (hah! As if L would want it to happen again) and that she hated him.

As far as he was concerned, she had no reason to be angry with him about that because she had said it first.

But there was still a pang in his heart because he totally knew how he'd hurt her by leaving without a word and if she really did hate his guts, then he understood she was justified.

If only…if only he could hold her, take her soft delicate hands in his and tell her how he really felt – that he'd never meant to hurt or dishonor her, that he had always loved her…

"Those are the autopsy pictures?" she asked quietly, keeping her gaze averted from him.

"Yes."

"Any news on the specific cause of death?"

"The victim seems to have been strangled. And there you see the kanji." He watched her expression closely. There was fear in her lovely eyes but she did her best to mask it.

He wished that he could hold her.

"It's the exact thing," she said softly, bringing him out of his reverie, "as my name."

"That's right," he replied slowly.

She drew back from the screen as though it were something poisonous, a venomous snake that could strike her any moment.

"We need more details," she said senselessly.

L recalled how frightened she had been last night, how she'd demanded answers, how she'd needed to be comforted, get her mind off of things. "We're working on it," he assured her gently, momentarily forgetting his ire.

"Right," she nodded, taking a deep breath. "What can I do now?"

He poured himself another cup of coffee and absently stirred it with seven sugar cubes, deep in thought as though all problems of the world could be solved by having a cup of tea.

Raito lifted an eyebrow at him, waiting for his verdict.

"You've never needed to be told what to do before," he observed calmly as he stopped stirring and took a sip. "Are you sure you don't want any breakfast? Your tea's getting cold."

She narrowed her eyes at him and clenched her teeth. "Yes, I'm sure."

"You'll hurt Watari's feelings, you know."

She shot poisoned daggers at him from those gorgeous, bright orbs. And then, to his surprise, she grudgingly reached for the tea.

_That's a good girl._

She sipped it carefully, and then made a face at how cold it must have gotten and for a moment, he was tempted to give her a warm cup. But they had no time to waste and so, they got to work.

* * *

It was a hectic day for Raito. Sure, she'd kept up a façade of calmness and quietude in front of L after their blowing up this morning and she'd cooled down after a long, warm shower (she remembered reading in her junior high biology text book that one should take a shower after sexual intercourse) and then, she'd come to L's study, with the pretense of _nothing's wrong, everything's fine._

But of course, it wasn't fine. She'd…_done it_ last night and it was only in the bathroom that she realized that she hadn't used any method of contraceptive (how could she, with her brain muddled from B's threats and L being so warm and gentlemanly?). In her room, Raito had quickly looked up birth control on the Web, only to find that she was too late to start for the regular one. And so, she decided that the best option would be to take an emergency pill.

Now the question was, how to get that emergency pill?

She couldn't go out on her own; she was too afraid to. And L had everything on a tight string so he'd definitely know who was going and for what purpose. Hence, she decided to take the chance, suffer the humiliation (it was either that, or ending up pregnant and giving L a genuine reason to keep her with him) and call a maid.

It was the same maid from the day she'd discovered her period had started. The woman was discreet enough and she quickly took the money and the piece of paper where Raito had written her need, and looked up at her with anxious eyes.

"Is it about the master?" she inquired rather fearfully.

Raito was quiet for a moment. It was the politest manner of asking if they had done the deed.

"You could say that," she had answered cautiously.

Now, in L's study, her mind wasn't at all in rest as she skimmed through the latest autopsy reports, caught between wondering how on earth B had come to know about her and what she would do if she found herself to be pregnant with L's child.

Interestingly, she didn't find the idea at all repulsive. Two years ago, when she was going out with him, she thought it would be the most beautiful thing in the world to have a baby with him. Oh, she'd had so many silly little dreams about the two of them, happily married somewhere in Tokyo (or London, for that matter), living in a house with white picket fences and a darling little brood.

Those dreams had died with a whimper the day she went to the Prince Hotel and heard from the receptionist that L had checked out and gone back to where he'd come from. Her blood still ran cold whenever she thought of that day, the pain she'd carried for two years, not being able to tell her family. And now that her bastard of a husband was back, she was not going to mess this up by letting him have his way with her.

Okay, so they'd gone to bed together. Big deal. It was just an act, a blind fumbling for comfort and security and it didn't mean anything at all.

She was almost confident on the maid's ability to keep things a secret when there was a knock on the door. L gave her a questioning look before rising to answer it. She gasped when she saw the maid standing outside with a little packet in her hand.

"Sir," she made a little curtsy, "this is for Miss Raito."

L glanced back at Raito, took the packet and nodded. He shut the door and looked at the contents inside before she could tell him to just give it to her.

"Hmm, Nordette 28," he noted aloud, and then silently handed the packet to her. She almost snatched it out of his hands, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

L sat back down in front of the computer. "Aren't you too late to start on them?" he asked as though he were discussing the weather.

She was strongly tempted to tell him to mind his own business. However, she forced herself to be polite. "They're emergency pills," she responded, turning her back and taking a look at them herself.

"Ah," he typed something on the keyboard. "But aren't those less effective?"

She struggled to keep her calm and she quickly downed a pill with a glass of cool water. Ah, that made her feel much better. "Well, I guess I'll have to take the chance, won't I?" she pointed out.

"True, true," he agreed casually. She didn't like the way he sounded right now, like he was mocking her or something. Then he cocked his head and said something flabbergasting:

"You always used to say that you'd love to have children with me."

Raito stilled. Closed her eyes briefly. Swallowed.

"Yeah, well," she shrugged bitterly. "Those days are behind us, aren't they?"

L was quiet before replying. "Yes, I suppose they are," he answered pensively. "If you want them to be."

_Stop giving me false hope, damn it._ "It's not about what I want," she told him honestly…well, as honestly as possible. "It was over the day you left me, remember?" she turned a page on the report.

"But I'm back now, aren't I?" Those black eyes turned on her.

The conversation was starting to make her feel uncomfortable. "Are you?" she challenged. "You still don't back down when it comes to getting what you want. And even after all this time, you still haven't told me what it was that made you left."

When L opened his mouth to answer, she quickly interrupted him, "It's all right, L." She shook her head. "Never mind – I don't really want to know. All I know is that I want to forget about this whole…_mistake_ and start a new life. Find a good, _honest_," she emphasized the word, "man to spend my life with." She imagined that Ryuuzaki was getting jealous but that was just wishful thinking since he didn't really care about her. "I want to leave this sordid past behind."

L nodded and for the rest of the day, the two of them hardly exchanged a word unless it was really necessary.

* * *

Late night. Raito was struggling to keep her eyes open. She kept thinking of how this time, there had been no pairs in B's victims, just one woman, which made her think that maybe B hadn't been after L all this time.

Maybe he'd just been after her.

That was the paranoia speaking, though.

"Raito-kun," said L, startling her out of her thoughts.

"Hmm?" she looked up at him, hoping that she did not look too sleepy.

"I need you to take a look at this," he said, pushing the monitor towards her. She blinked. "Just go through the reports – they were just e-mailed to me. Write down notes and tell me if you find anything unusual or some patterns to tell us what B's next move might be."

She nodded, watching as he stood up.

"I need to have a talk with Roger," he told her, and then left.

Well, that was weird. Nonetheless, she got down to work.

She was surprised by how he'd given her access to his computer files. Usually, he did not let her look at his e-mails, at least not in his absence, but now, she was all alone and while she was jotting down notes, there was something that caught her eye on the e-mail program. A folder. With a French title that she didn't get. Curiously, she double clicked the icon to see what was there.

What she saw was like a punch in the stomach. No, worse than that.

There was a list of all the e-mails she'd sent to him – each and every one of the one thousand-and-twenty-one that she'd desperately sent to get news of him, all just sitting in the folder peacefully, as though they were mocking her.

She opened some of them. Her heart broke as her eyes traveled over the lines she'd written about where he had gone and how sorry she was and how much she missed him, begging him to come back.

_And he had never replied to a single one of them._

Her throat was constricting as though a boa had wrapped itself around her; tears were threatening to spill from her eyes as she read the e-mails, remembering the state of mind she had been in when she'd typed them and she wondered how cruel a man would have to be, what a heart of stone he must have, to ignore a wife's pleas and go on with his life as if nothing was wrong.

_L, you bastard._

She was never going to forget this.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She closed the e-mail program and got to her feet, brushing off her pants and made to leave. Just then, L came back in.

"Where are you going?" he wanted to know.

She refused to look at him. "To bed. I don't feel too good."

"Is anything wrong, Raito-kun?"

_Yes, you sick bastard. Why do you keep asking when you already know the answer?_

She shook her head and walked past him. Soon, she was in the comfort of her own bed, eyes squeezed shut, body curled up in a fetal position as if that would protect her from all her worries.

She needed to go to bed. She needed to sleep this off and forget about this because she'd been a fool to expect better from L.

Just then, the door opened. She couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes, in spite of her pain, for L was not one to knock, especially in his own territory. She remained silent as she heard the pad of his footsteps across the floor and the dip of the mattress as he sat on the bed behind her.

"Is Raito-kun not feeling well?" There was such (false) concern in his tone. It made him sound like he was willing to do anything in the world for her and for an instant, she was tempted to laugh harshly in his face.

She would not look at him.

"I saw the e-mails," she said a minute later.

There was a moment of heavy silence.

"Ah," he said as if that explained everything.

She gritted her teeth in an attempt to control her budding rage. "You got all my e-mails," she said thickly, angrily. "And you _never_ replied."

She waited for him to say something, _anything_ but he just kept quiet. What was he doing, twiddling his thumbs?

"Why didn't you respond?" she demanded, still not looking at him, for the sight of him was hateful to her now. "Do you have any idea how I felt, how desperate I was, trying to reach you?"

No answer.

"I had no idea where you were!" her voice was rising now. "I didn't even know if you were dead or alive! And you got all of my e-mails and you let them sit there like ornaments on your computer and you never bothered to respond to even one of them and let me know if you were coming back or if it was over between us!"

Raito was dully surprised to find that she was crying now. She'd never cried before him, as far as she could remember, but she didn't care about exposing her vulnerabilities.

"You are such a heartless bastard!" she hissed vituperatively at him. "I can't understand how I ever believed that you really loved me."

Behind her, she heard him sigh. Perhaps in exasperation. She braced herself, expecting him to make a snide comment on how unreasonable and impractical she was, something stupid like that (and she would punch him if he did). Instead, to her complete surprise, he said:

"Do you remember the first time I saw you?"

Raito stilled. What the hell was he talking about? She sniffed and quickly wiped away her tears.

"What does that have to do with this?" she asked, swallowing.

He ignored her and went on.

"I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen," he confessed, sounding closer than he had earlier. Was he leaning over her? She felt his breath on the shell of her ear.

"I didn't think I stood a chance with you when I saw you at your school." He smiled a bit, reminiscing, "You looked like a dream come true, with those intelligent eyes and sharp mind – I never imagined that someone like you, with both brains and beauty, could exist."

_You're so superficial. _

"When we had that fight," he said, referring to the night after their wedding. "I refused because I didn't think we were ready."

This time, she turned around to fix an angry glare on him. "What do you mean that we weren't ready?" she cried. "I…I wanted to be with you that night, didn't I? You're the one who didn't seem interested."

"I was very interested, Raito," he objected. "But…I suppose I refused because…I didn't think I was good enough for you. You see, I've never been with anyone before."

She felt as though a piano had fallen on her head from an eight-story building. And suddenly, she felt more embarrassed than before.

"Oh."

"Yes."

Another heavy, awkward silence followed.

"Well, that excuses nothing," she retorted stiffly. "I'm never going to forgive you for this."

"I understand," he said quietly.

"I think I would like you to leave now, Ryuuzaki," she told him. She really wanted to be alone.

"All right," he nodded, sounding sad. He got down from the bed and slowly walked towards the door. Just as he was about to open it, something clicked on her mind from long ago.

"Ryuuzaki?" she said, sitting up and turning around to face him.

He looked at her, nearly hopeful. "Yes, Raito-kun?"

"You said you saw me first at my school, right?"

He nodded again. "That is correct."

She worried her lip anxiously. "That's strange," she frowned. "Because I could swear that we met that morning in the subway."

A/N: Yay! Another update! throws confetti

Posting this chapter was quite a rush but I have a good excuse - my elder sister is getting married tonight :). Sorry I couldn't reply to all the reviews because I've been so busy but I thank you for commenting! I'll try to back to all my comments when the wedding's over, God willing. Hope you liked the update and don't forget to review ;).


	17. Chapter 17

L stared at her wordlessly. "What are you talking about?" he questioned, moving away from the door and stepping towards her. "I saw you give a speech at your high school about the Japanese judiciary system. That was the first time…"

Raito sat up and peered at him, brown eyes filled with suspicion. "Yeah, I saw you," she nodded slowly. "When I was done with my speech. But Ryuuzaki, I swear, I think we met before that."

He went very still. "No," he shook his head, light shining on his dark hair. "I didn't go to the subway. I –" he trailed off his sentence, lost in thought while her eyes widened.

"L," she spoke his true name, getting his attention. "You don't think it could have been…B, could it?"

He didn't answer for a long time. He paced the room with his back hunched and his hands folded behind his back as he tried to analyze all the pieces of information around his head, trying to come up with the most logical solution, as he was used to do.

"L?" she sounded genuinely anxious right now. "Do you really think it was B?"

"What happened that morning?" he wanted to know.

"I – I was on my way to school," she replied. "There was this guy in the train – he looked _exactly_ like you. He kept staring at me the entire time and then he tried to talk to me." She sat up straighter. "I saw him at my speech, too. I thought it was you."

"No, that was me," he insisted, nodding furiously. He stepped closer to her, looking into her eyes. "I really did go to see your speech. Your father told me of your genius and I wanted to see for myself. It was after that that I thought you should join us on the investigation."

The blood drained away from her face as realization dawned on her. "Then…" she stammered. "What about the other guy?"

"I don't know," L answered gravely. "But there's a ninety per cent chance that he _was_ B."

She stared dumbly at him, not knowing what to say. "B," she breathed. "You mean – it was him that I saw first?"

L didn't say anything. He sat on a chair beside her and she turned to him earnestly, desperately looking for answers.

"Yes," he finally said. "It does look like it."

She shook her head. "But how would he know?" she asked frantically. "How would he know it was me?" She eyed him suspiciously. "Is there something you're not telling me, L?"

It was just like the other night when L had at last split the beans about B but she now had a strong feeling that there was something he'd deliberately left out. That bastard.

"B greatly resembles me," L answered vaguely. "He dresses like me. Talks like me. He tries to be me in every way. There have been occasions when others have mistaken him to be me." He took a deep breath. "As much as I hate to admit it, I do believe that it was B who you'd met on the subway. And that he saw you first," he added with some underlying jealousy, pouting slightly like a child.

It was Raito's turn to hug her knees to her chest. Her hair brushed over her eyes in a gentle sweep and she was trying very hard to stay calm and understand all the information that she had just learned.

"You're not going to cry again, are you?" asked the detective awkwardly.

"I'm scared," she confessed in an answer. "I'm scared because…I don't know what the hell is going on." Her voice trembled slightly. "I always thought that we'd first met in the subway, like some chance meeting in a fairy tale or something but now…the more I think of it…the more confusing it is."

He gazed at her. She looked so beautiful in the half-light that it broke his heart again to think of how much he'd hurt her and again, he felt that fierce desire to possess her, to protect her. All these years, he had stayed away from her out of some stupid pride but he could comprehend now what he had lost and he desperately wanted it back.

"It was a chance meeting, Raito-kun," he said softly. He wanted to reach out and put a hand on her shoulder, comfort her. "And I meant what I said – I won't let anything happen to you."

She glanced at him. "I really hate the idea of someone dying for me."

"She didn't die for you," L protested. "B is a psychopath, I don't want you to take responsibility over what he's done."

She let out a shaky breath. "But it feels so wrong."

He stared at her for a few minutes. And then he rose, and she watched him with guarded eyes as he sat beside her.

"Come here," he said gently, awkwardly.

She was reluctant at first, but shaken up by the experience. So she moved into the space of his arms, feeling safe when his warmth enveloped her protectively and she tucked her head under his chin, bowed against his chest, listening absently to his heartbeat.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he murmured into her hair, just like he had last night, and then she risked a look at him.

"You already broke my heart," she pointed out. Oh, how she hated to expose her weaknesses in front of him, who was her greatest weakness, in fact; but conversations in late night lowered her inhibitions and made her more vulnerable than she already was.

Especially in his arms.

"I want to put it back together," he said suddenly, surprising her. She hadn't expected him to make such a reply. She hadn't thought of him ever wanting to make things better because she'd already grown too used to thinking of him as someone who was just using her.

But all those thoughts vanished from her mind when his mouth found hers in the dark, and his embrace tightened around her. Part of her responded, part of her held back and that was the part that vanished when she found herself being lowered onto the mattress, torn between desire and confusion.

"L…" she whispered, trying to push him away. "Ryuuzaki, I don't think we should be doing this."

His lips hovered over her jaw line, breath coming out in short pants, and she was breathing hard, too, because after last night, it was simply _crazy_ the effect they were having on each other; for despite the impending danger, they were still acting like two hormonal teenagers.

"I know, I know," he sighed, shaking his head as if to clear it from the confusion and desire that she was feeling, too, and for an instant, she regretted not letting him go back to his own room.

"But," he breathed in her ear, "the things you make me feel – "

This time, Raito was the one who kissed him, held onto him as though he was a lifeline. Her hands pressed against the back of his shoulder blades and she gasped softly as he kissed her throat. But still –

"Wait, wait," she panted, and he paused almost immediately, his eyes glassed over as though he were confused…and he certainly was.

"I'm not sure if I want this," she told him weakly, feeling like a…loser.

"Of course, of course," he swallowed, trying to calm down the race of his pulse when he felt her skin against his. It was starting to feel like deja vu with the both of them wanting something so badly and yet, denying themselves…

But he didn't think he could bear it if she told him again that it was over, never again.

Pressing a soft kiss to her lips, he was about to pull away when she suggested, "Maybe you could just be here."

He threw her a questioning look. And then understood that she didn't want to be alone tonight.

* * *

They lay stretched on the bed, L on this back, staring quietly up at the ceiling, and Raito on her side, hands tucked under her cheeks, eyes fixed on the door. They had been lying like this for almost an hour, just inches away from each other, but never touching because neither of them would trust themselves to keep control if they touched. Misery was the greatest aphrodisiac, it seemed, and so far, they were both pretty miserable, for different and same reasons. 

Raito sighed. It was too quiet here but she didn't trust herself to speak. Maybe she'd been secretly hoping that L would make some light conversation but he was tight-lipped like an oyster and his eyes were starting to look pale in the dark.

She wondered if he had fallen asleep with his eyes open.

"Ryuuzaki?" she said softly, clearing her throat. "Are you awake?"

A calm glance at her direction was the reply.

She decided to press on, simply out of boredom. "What are you thinking?" she asked.

She saw his chest heave with a sigh. "I'm thinking about how we can tackle B," replied L, looking very pensive. "I'm turning over all the evidence in my head to see if we missed any clues."

She rolled her eyes and turned away, the springs creaking slightly. "Well, let me know when you find something," she said to him dryly.

"Raito-kun isn't interested?" this time, he was the one to roll on his side, eyeing her with some fascination.

"Not at the moment, no," she answered, trying to be comfortable in her new position. "To be honest, I've been fretting about that bastard all day. I think I would like some distraction very much."

And then it hit her how her words could be interpreted another way.

She felt her face heat up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"I'm sure you didn't." But there was no snideness in his voice as she heard him lie back again.

She sighed. And after a few minutes, she dared, "Are the kids asleep?"

"I'd imagine so. I trust Watari and Roger to take care of that."

"Okay."

He glanced at her. "Did Raito-kun want to talk about something?"

Was he…encouraging her?

She turned again on her side and found herself looking him in the eye. She felt flustered all of a sudden but she quickly recovered.

"When did you first come to the orphanage?" she asked the first question that came to her mind.

He lifted an eyebrow. "So it's me that you want to talk about, huh?"

She didn't think she'd hit a nerve. "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all." He settled comfortably against the pillows. "I was eight."

"Hmm?"

"When I came to Wammy's House. I was eight."

"I see." She frowned, deep in thought. "Oh, wait, you told me this already."

"I did."

Again, she rolled her eyes. "Did you ever know your father?"

At this, he gave her a dark smirk. "My father left my mother for another woman when I was three," he answered. "A few months later, we heard that he'd died, too. I'm not sure how, though." He tilted his head to the side as though were pondering over that.

She went quiet at this; she'd never imagined what it would have been like to see her parents split up. True, they were a boring, old-fashioned couple but she had always felt sure that they cared for each other and they would never drift apart.

"It must have been very hard for you," she said carefully.

He shrugged. "I don't remember much but yes, my mother was very sad."

"And you were seven when she…passed away?" she asked hesitantly, not entirely sure if it was appropriate to speak of this. God knew what memories it brought for him.

"That's right." His voice remained expressionless.

"Did it – happen in front of you?" What a thing to ask, as though she were deliberately digging for all the sensitive information, but she'd been legally married to this man for two years and she hardly knew him!

"No." He twiddled his toes. "Actually, I was in school when a policeman came to me and told me that my mother would not come to pick me up. The rest you can imagine."

She wished that he would show some emotion in his voice, for it hurt to hear him so numb, so monotonous. Almost as though over the years, he'd convinced himself that these events were far behind and not worth being sad over.

"I can't imagine what it must be like," she admitted to L. "To lose everyone you love."

"Yes," he gave a slight nod. "Raito-kun has been very fortunate." The words sounded like an ill omen but she ignored it.

She propped herself on one elbow and looked down at him. "But you came here," she pointed out. "You must've had some friends."

"They were more like acquaintances, actually," he glanced at her. "And you're right, it wasn't so bad. I got used to it after a while; I didn't have time to think of the past anymore because I was too busy becoming the world's greatest detective." Again, that cynical tone.

"You didn't have a girlfriend?" she teased him to lighten to mood. And surely there must have been women that he'd admired, for he was seven years older than her –

"No," L replied, deadpan. "You were the first."

She stilled. And blushed.

"Oh."

"Yes."

Well, that had been awkward. She looked down, perhaps in comfortable shyness, wondering what she should say next. It was then that he took a turn to ask her something.

"What about Raito-kun?" he wondered aloud. "She must've had many beaus."

She flustered. "There were a few," she said, "when I was in school."

"Ah," he nodded again.

"But you already knew that," she narrowed her eyes, pouting slightly. To her surprise, he chuckled.

"I wouldn't be surprised if other men had admired you," he smiled at her. "You are something to be admired." He sounded truly appreciative, taking her aback again.

Raito swallowed. "But that didn't stop you from leaving, did it?" she mumbled, looking away.

"I had my reasons," he answered mystically.

"I'm sure you did," she shot back drily, unable to keep down her flare of temper. "It didn't have anything to do with impotency, did it?" the words came out bitchier than she'd intended.

L said quietly, "I think we both know from last night that impotency is not an issue."

Touché. Raito didn't think she'd blushed so much as she was doing right now and she grumpily hid her face in the coolness of the pillows. _Impotency is not an issue._

"I apologize if I was too straightforward." He turned his head, looking contemplatively at her. "I was simply being honest."

"I'm sure you were, Ryuuzaki," she mumbled.

His thumb found its way to his teeth. "You look very beautiful like that," he said suddenly.

"Like what?" she blinked. She had not seen that coming.

"When you're trying to hide your face in the pillows, ignoring a faux pas." He smiled lopsidedly. "It's very charming."

Despite herself, she laughed. "You'd think so," she chided him, almost playfully, forgetting the earlier tension that existed between them.

"I do," he reiterated. "I think Raito-kun is very charming."

She felt shy and hesitant again, like a young wife on her wedding night. Come to think of it, maybe this was the way she'd wanted their wedding night to be. Them talking and laughing, being friendly with each other. Oh, she'd missed the days when they used to be so affectionate, like two little lovebirds.

"Do you still find me charming?" she couldn't stop herself from asking that. She definitely knew the answers, for Ryuuzaki was capable of saying anything to get what he wanted. Really, that man had no scruples. No wonder they used to have so many arguments about detective work.

"I believe Raito-kun already knows the answer to that." He was leaning over her now, and her breath caught her throat because he was gazing at her so intensely, his eyes like black pools she could drown in. She felt tantalized; trapped, unable to move a single inch away from him as he slowly bent down to kiss her. And she felt something deep within her stir and rise up to meet him, deepening the kiss.

There were faint sounds of shuffling, unbuttoning, casting aside everything that was unwanted, unneeded, interfering. And L's adoring gaze was still fixed on her and she felt unable to tear herself away from him – even more so when he headed south. Minutes went by with the ticking of the clock and it wasn't long before Raito was trembling delicately, softly calling out his name as he looked up at her with a seductive smirk, wiping his mouth on the bed sheets.

* * *

"I think," declared Raito, "that it was a mistake to ask you to stay here." 

She was lying under the sheets, wrapped up in L's arms, her head on his chest so that she could listen to his heartbeat. It had been racing a while ago but now, it was gradually growing steadier by the instant until it sounded like the gentle rhythm of a tambourine.

"Why is that?" his baritone voice was deeper and lazier than usual, eyes half-lidded, body spent.

"Because whenever we're alone together, things just get more complicated." She raised her head to look at him.

"I don't know about Raito-kun but I'm feeling more relaxed now," he quipped, earning a grudging smile from her. "If she is still anxious about something," he started to stir, "perhaps I didn't make myself clear before."

So she let him make himself clear again.

* * *

Hearts racing. Bodies moving together, at last sated. 

Her hands were on his pale shoulders and they were both gasping for breath, hair damp with perspiration. She swallowed.

"We can't keep doing this," she said and he stared her, hot breath falling on her throat.

"Who says we can't?" he counter-questioned.

* * *

Five hours of sleep in one night was not enough to keep a person in fit shape to do detective work, Raito opined as she stood near the bookshelf in her room. Then again, 3 AM was not exactly night and neither of them had slept too well after that, plagued by their own anxieties. 

L was in her bathroom. She could hear the rush of the water and she imagined him washing his thick, unruly hair like a scruffy dog (she meant the comparison in a most benign sense).

She'd taken a pill again this morning. She wasn't sure how healthy that was but right now, her brain felt too dazed and she was in no mood to do any research. She had her doubts about some things but one thing she could be damn sure about.

L had no problems with intimacy. Or impotency, for that matter.

The bathroom door opened and she looked behind to find her husband fully dressed, with a towel hanging around his shoulders. She tried to keep her face cool and straight despite the unfamiliar situation and that they had hardly said a word to each other when they woke up.

Maybe they were both trying to avoid an argument. And as much as she hated to admit it, last night _had_ been breathtaking. Literally.

"Hey," she said cordially, hoping that her voice didn't tremble. "The maid just brought us breakfast." She nodded towards the tea tray near the bed.

"Very good," he approved and went to help himself. He hadn't made any move to touch or kiss her in the morning and she supposed that…she should feel grateful about it. Perhaps he didn't want her to feel ill at ease, or force himself on her.

Not that he'd ever done that.

But she was nevertheless glad that he'd silently agreed to give her some space. Because she really needed to sort things out.

Like her treacherous feelings.

Actually, that was something she didn't want to think about at this moment. She wanted to keep herself distanced from them as long as possible because she had the strong feeling that she was treading on dangerous ground.

She couldn't allow herself to fall back in love with L – she simply couldn't.

_But what if she already was?_

No, no. That was just her volatile hormones speaking. Nothing important enough to be taken into consideration.

Wordlessly, she watched as L poured himself the steaming tea and dropped five sparkling white sugar cubes into the cup. She had to admit, she still marveled how he could have all that sugar and not gain a single pound.

_Would our children be like that, too?_

_What children?!_

"Did you have any of this?" he pointed at the attractive tray of chocolate brownies, which he was generously helping himself to and he spoke with a mouthful.

She gave him a small smile. "I had just two, thanks."

How odd it was that they were being very polite with each other after a night of heated passion. She secretly hoped that he didn't think she had changed her mind about anything. Because while the sex had been fantastic (she had no other experience to compare with), it wasn't enough to make her forgive him.

She still remembered with pain all the unanswered e-mails in his inbox and she wasn't about to let that go without a good explanation.

But thankfully, they had B to focus on now. She really could do with a little distraction.

"Did you sleep well, Ryuuzaki?" she asked, unable to meet his gaze, bashful girl that she was.

He smiled crookedly. "I slept the same as Raito-kun," he took a sip of his tea, perching on the edge of the bed. And then he changed the subject. "I believe that I finally know what B wants to tell me."

She whipped her head at him so fast that she was afraid for a moment that she'd cramped a neck muscle. "What?" she exclaimed.

He chewed a hangnail thoughtfully, and then spoke through brownie. "B is jealous," he declared, his voice even.

Raito listened intently.

"I understand that…as he saw you first," he uttered the words with some difficulty, "he must have taken a fancy to you. For obvious reasons, he wasn't able to approach you. And now, what he aimed to tell us with his killings of pair of opposite genders was that he knew about you and I – and he wanted revenge."

She smirked "No shit, Sherlock," she folded her arms across her chest. "So then what?"

"I believe that he has been trying to possess you in his own twisted way," L took another sip of tea. "Perhaps he was finally able to achieve that in the killing of his latest victim."

She took a minute to digest the information. "And through the letters that he carved on their bodies, perhaps he's calling you to a challenge?" she suggested.

"Yes, I've already considered that." He nodded. "B is most probably giving a name and a location of the place where he would like to confront me." He frowned. "Unfortunately, I haven't been able to figure that out yet."

She made a face. "You know I'll help you, L," she assured, mostly for the purpose of professionalism.

"I know, Raito-kun." He nodded again, glancing at her. "I know."

She leaned against the bookshelf. He watched her every move like a hawk and she was reminded of last night.

_Totally inappropriate time to think of that._

"So we crack the code today?" she said.

"Hopefully," L sounded optimistic. "It shouldn't take too long since we have most of it figured it. We should have him in custody in no time."

"I hope so," she sighed and ran her fingers through her almost-dry hair. "It's been so long."

"Hmm?" he questioned but she decided not to answer him. There was something akin to unease in her when she pondered upon the fact that – if B were to be apprehended soon, then…it meant that she and L would really be –

_Are you sure you want that?_

_I want it more than anything else._

_Keep saying that to yourself and you actually might believe it._

"Excited?" he asked wrily.

She begrudged him a smile. "Can't wait." The words felt like they had to be forced out of her mouth.

"Good. I can't, either."

* * *

It was tiring. That was all she could say, sitting on the floor and hunched over various workings of riddles, analyzing all the different possibilities. In the back of her mind, Raito was pondering over how almost one month of her summer vacation had passed by and all the changes that had taken place in this one month, changes that she'd been trying to avoid. This wasn't the way she'd thought of spending the holidays – chasing a serial killer from her soon-to-be ex-husband's past, finding out that she may have met a psycho named B before she met L. But that was something to be grateful for. Because she could obviously see that L was a better man than B. However, she couldn't help shuddering at the possibility that she may have been with B during their courtship, thinking that he was L. 

It was a disgusting idea.

Part of her wanted to make a long list of the places where she and her husband had had their rendezvous and check them just to be sure, but she decided that that would have to wait.

Raito sighed and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes when she heard her spine crack softly with satisfaction. She smirked to herself. If she kept going on like this, pretty soon, her back would be as crooked as L's.

He was working diligently, no surprise there. And there was something in his expression that made him look almost..._sad_. She tilted her head, curious.

What would he be sad for?

Maybe he was regretting all the victims that they had been unable to save. Or maybe he was sad because once this was done, she would be...

She sighed again. There was no avoiding that in the long run but for now, she could focus on more pressing matters. Like how exquisite L looked when the thick, inky locks fell over his eyes like that.

It took her back to the old days. She hadn't considered him to be attractive when they first met but he surely grew on her later. And now this.

"What is Raito-kun staring at?" his voice pulled her out of her musings.

She blinked mutely. "Nothing much," she answered guardedly. "I'm just...tired I guess. I think I could do with a walk. Stretch my muscles."

He looked at her and nodded. She wasn't fibbing, really; she did want to go out for a walk and freshen up. Not everyone could work for long hours, fixed in a single position.

"All right," said L. "I'll have Watari escort you then. You can walk in the backyard."

And although she knew why he was being so careful, it annoyed her. "I'm not going to run away, you know," she frowned as she stood up. His eyes followed her.

"Yes, I know," there was a dark, glint in his eyes. "If I thought you would, I'd have handcuffed you to me."

This made her blink again. And blush.

"Wait for Watari to come," he instructed as she stepped out. She didn't answer him. She wasn't keen on being babysat like...Near or Mello. On the contrary, she was careful and old enough to look after herself.

And so, she made her way down, a thrill of escapade coursing through her veins, even though she told herself that it was silly to feel that way. She stepped into the grounds, feet crunching over the fresh grass wet from rain. Smiling, she ran her fingers through her hair. She'd be safe on these grounds for sure, because all the gates were locked and the whole establishment was under tight security. She kept walking around, admiring all the shrubs and flowers, feeling relaxed until she came upon the gates, watching thick veins climbing the high walls, reminding her of an enchanted castle. Her forehead wrinkled with confusion. Why was that little gate in the corner flapping like a banana peel? She was certain that all entrances had to be locked.

Curiously, she went forward and rested her hand on the gate to still it. Her heart was racing; what was going on? She slowly stuck her head out and looked around. The street was empty.

Scary.

She sighed in relief and was about to shut the door when a strong hand shot out from behind and clamped a handkerchief over her nose and mouth. Her eyes flew wide open with alarm and she struggled against her assailant. But her senses were wearing down fast and it wasn't long before the world went black.

A/N: gasp OMG, Raito's in trouble! What's L going to do now?  
Sorry I've been late in updating - I was stuck in the last part but thankfully, I've managed that. Don't forget to let me know what you think ;).


	18. Chapter 18

To put it briefly, L had a headache. His brain felt like it was being pounded by cold gray stones and singed with fireworks because he had been staring at the computer for so long (approximately 5 hours). He leaned back and rubbed his eyes with a sigh; while he was used to working long hours, old age (he will turn twenty-seven in a few months) was catching up with him and with dismay, he realized that pretty soon, he would no longer be able to stay up late.

Pretty soon, he found himself thinking, his life would be different.

Naturally, he had been thinking of Raito. He was always thinking of her one way or the other, but this time it was serious. He was thinking of persuading her to stay with him...so that they could work out their issues and be happy again. He recalled the old days when he was courting her and she was his sunshine because nothing could brighten up his world like she could.

(And the sex. Oh, the sex.)

He didn't think it was possible to love her any more than he already did but Raito, being a surprise and a prodigy, kept proving him wrong each time. He found that he rather liked to be proven wrong this way.

Right now, he felt like a teenager drunk on his hormones running wild but that was temporary; for when passion faded away, there would be love and that was all that mattered.

Yes. When this was over...no, when she came back from her walk, he would tell her everything. He would ask her to forget about the divorce, bear his children and grow old with him. They would wear fake teeth (L was pretty sure he'd lose his teeth early from the amount of sweets he consumed) and walk with canes together and look back on this moment just to laugh at how foolish they used to be.

And speaking of her walk...why wasn't she back yet?

Gingerly, L stepped out and looked around. There was no one in the corridor. It had been almost forty-five minutes. Shouldn't she be back by now? After all, they had work to do.

He whipped out his cell phone and speed-dialed Watari's number. He hoped they hadn't fallen into a well or something.

"Hello, Watari?" he said when the elderly scientist answered. "Where is Raito?"

There was a pause. "I thought she was with you."

L frowned. "You were supposed to take her down for a walk, weren't you?"

"Yes...but she wasn't there when I arrived. I simply assumed that either she changed her mind or she went with you."

L's heart went still. Very still. _Oh, no._

Dropping the phone into his pocket, he rushed downstairs and out into the garden. The damp grass was slippery beneath his bare feet and for a brief instant, he wished that he'd worn his sneakers.

He rushed across the green moistness – he knew he could slip but that didn't matter. He had to find Raito. He kept fervently praying that she just walking and that nothing had happened to her. Oh God, why hadn't he come with her? Why hadn't he come with her and taken a stupid break?

He stopped still in his tracks when he found the little gate flapping uselessly in the wind.

_B_.

His heart felt like it was going to explode.

* * *

Her back was hurting. There was a cringe in her neck from leaning forward so long and her head was swimming, vision blurry from whatever she'd been forced to inhale. And from having been unconscious for so long.

With a heavy head, Raito looked up to find that she was trapped in a dark room, where the only light was drifting in from a high window near the ceiling. It left a feeling of distaste in the back of her throat as she thought, _Classic criminal hideout._

"Ah, you're awake."

The sudden speaking startled her. She whipped her head towards the direction of the voice, eyes growing wide with fear.

It was coming from the shadows in the corner. Raito narrowed her eyes to get a better look and soon, she could make out a thin, frail, lanky figure slowly stepping out from the darkness, which annoyed her again, because really, this guy was not elegant, arch villain material...

Her mouth parted in shock when her captor came out into the light.

His hair was falling clumsily around his face and his eyes were rimmed in black and his shoulders were slouching, gait ungainly and..._he looked like a carbon copy of L!_

He spoke again.

"I trust you are all right, Raito-kun?"

His voice confused her. He was calling her _Raito-kun,_ just like L would, but there was something different about the way he sounded, like he was torn between being himself and being someone else.

Finally, some sound came out of her own throat, which had started to feel very dry at this moment:

"B."

The man tilted his head to the side, looking almost hurt. "What are you saying?" he sounded concerned. "Why would you call me that?"

He really did look a lot like L at first glance, she opined, but now that she had taken a good look at him, she could clearly see that his looks, speech and movements were awkwardly exagerrated and her husband was undoubtedly far more graceful and natural than this imposter.

"Raito-kun?" Again that false concern but it did well in drawing her out of her thoughts.

"What do you want with me?" she asked through clenched teeth, trying not to show her panic. She didn't think she was doing a very good job at that since she couldn't function well under pressure.

This time, B smiled with ghastly delight. "You're not to be toyed with," he observed, pleased. "This just means you're going to be a lot more fun." He walked around, taking a look at her as though she were a cow in the market place. She cringed under that harsh, prying gaze. In a very perverse way, it did remind her of L but L had never made her feel _this _uncomfortable.

"What do you want with me?" she forced herself to ask.

B's thin lips curved in an evil smile. "You'll see," he replied cryptically.

* * *

One day. One fucking day and L still had no clue about Raito's whereabouts. His heart felt like it was about to fly out of his chest and he had spent a good part of the night pacing a hole on the floor of his study and the rest half in Raito's room, smelling the sheets of the bed where they had made love that night. There was a tiny part of him hoping that when he was roused from his restless sleep, she would be leaning over him with a smile on her beautiful face and they would be together again.

(An almost unpleasant reminder of learning that his mother was dead, wishing that she would come back, knowing that she never would.)

(Was Raito dead?)

He didn't like to think about it. He was almost afraid to turn on the TV in fear of seeing her pale, lifeless form on the news and losing his mind.

Watari and Roger came to check on him frequently. In their franticness, they even suggested that they directly go to the police for help with this. L refused. It hurt his pride. Later, when he lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, he realized how stupid it was to let pride get in the way.

L was the best detective in the world and he had worked out countless mysteries.

But he had not a clue about where to look for his wife.

Watari was, needless to say, devastated. "I should've been there," he kept saying, terribly upset. L couldn't bring himself to comfort the old man because he actually agreed. Or rather, _he _should have been there.

He thought of Raito's parents. He thought of how stern but caring Mr Yagami had seemed towards his daughter. He thought of what answer he would give to her family if anything happened to her.

He'd never felt so damn _helpless._

In the morning, he was dragged from his restless slumber by an urgent beeping on his cell phone, which he hurriedly grabbed from the night table.

"What's wrong?" he asked, voice groggy but eyes wide open.

It was Roger.

"There was a delivery today," said the older man, sounding very anxious. He was already stressed enough as it was with having to oversee the care of the orphans, and now, worrying about Raito... "We don't know if it's good news or not. It...appears to be a disk but we haven't really opened it yet."

L stilled. He wasn't sure what to expect upon hearing this. A part of him had grown calm, ready accept whatever had passed; another part was agitated, confused about how to deal with this.

"Come to my study," he said glumly.

They looked like two men dressed for a funeral, Watari and Roger. Both men were wearing dark gray suits, to suit the dark skies, faces grave, eyes downcast. It depressed L more than it should because he had been expecting them to look more optimistic. For now, at least they had a CD and it would hopefully prove to be a valuable clue.

He didn't say much. He even ignored the dish of expensive chocolates and Earl Gray tea in the small tray near his Macbook, and that was saying a lot because L was always eating. Turning his back to the elderly men, he put in the disk and started to play it. To be honest, he had no idea what to expect; his brain had fallen numb somewhere along the way and the whole experience felt so surreal that he asked himself if he was dreaming.

The video started playing. The whole room was so quiet that L could almost listen to his heartbeat.

The first thing he saw was a dark room, filled with a sort of sepia light, as though this had been filmed at noon. He squinted his eyes and then widened them when he spotted Raito gagged and tied to a chair.

He opened his mouth almost to call her name as though she could hear him but his thought process was interrupted when he saw a mirror image of himself appearing suddenly in front of the camera.

"Oh my God," breathed Watari and Roger looked aghast.

L went pale as a sheet.

_B..._

"Hello, L," said the lunatic imposter, voice sounding somewhat distant in the recording. Hands moving on their own accord, L quickly turned up the volume to hear this better. "It's been a long time."

L felt a chill run down his spine as if someone had dropped an ice cube down his shirt.

"I'm assuming that you didn't really miss me while I was gone," continued B in that cold tone of his. "That's a pity because I thought of you nearly every day." He cocked his head in an L-like manner. "I thought of everything that you had stolen from me – that you kept stealing from me. You always had to have everything, didn't you, L?"

L tightened his fist at that. What the hell was this bastard trying to say?

"As you can see," B moved away from the camera, "I have your lovely young wife with me." He approached Raito, whose cinnamon eyes were filled with fear and disgust, cringing away when he lightly lay a hand on her shoulder.

If B was irritated by this reaction, he did not show it.

"She's very feisty," he remarked as if he was talking about a new pet dog he'd gotten. "She's all right to deal with when she's unconscious but a handful when she's wide awake, as you can see." He gestured towards how Raito kept struggling against her bonds and L's hands _itched_ to first release her from them, then strangle her captor. "And speaking of that, do you know that her cheeks redden in a most becoming way when she's asleep?" He laughed. "Oh. Of course you knew that. You knew that before me _even though I saw her first_."

(Why was L so tongue-tied?)

He hated the way B made her sound, as though she were something to be possessed, not respected. His left hand tightened around the edge of the table his laptop rested on and in the back of his mind, he suspected that it might break from the pressure he was exerting.

"Nevertheless, she's much fun to be with, wouldn't you agree?" B taunted, slowly lowering his head (L's eyes flew open with repulsion) so that he could lick a little trail up Raito's neck and place a small kiss right below her ear.

L was almost about to smash the screen but sheer logic held him back, telling him that doing such a thing would be of no help, even when he could clearly see how repelled she was by this murderer.

B laughed softly. "You've seen my work," he lightly referenced to his murder victims. "You were supposed to be the best detective in the world and you have still not be able to trace me. Not to mention that the security at Wammy's House is pretty lousy." He approached the camera. "Still, there's a final challenge I'd like to offer you."

L waited with bated breath.

B went on. "If you can find me and your pretty wife where we are in twenty-fours, naturally you win. But if you can't..." he glanced back at Raito casually. "Well, let's just say that you have something new for watch out for on the news. Take care, Ryuuzaki."

The video stopped, the screen going blank.

Everyone was silent in the room, shocked from what they'd just seen. L was staring blankly at the laptop screen, hugging his knees to his chest. He heard Roger and Watari's distant voices probing him about something but he paid them no attention. His mind was still swimming from what he'd seen and his first thought was about how he was going to get Raito out of this mess.

She didn't deserve this.

_How am I going to get her back?_

He finally spoke when he saw that the other two men were not budging from his side. "I need to be alone," he said quietly. "I need time to think." _I need time to get her back._

They nodded and left. Trying to keep his calm, he started the video again, turning down the sound, leaning forward and watching very closely.

* * *

The water didn't taste very nice. It was full of iron and even its color was pale yellow. Raito was very thirsty but this did next to nothing to quench her thirst. She was also hungry but she didn't think she would manage to eat anything, especially whatever B would offer her.

It'd been hours (she'd lost track of time) since he'd video-taped them and posted the CD and she longed to know what L was up to, what he was planning.

Would he come save her? Of course he would!

Her arms were aching from being strained for so long and she itched to take a shower. The trail B had drawn on her neck earlier had dried off ages ago but she still felt like it was there, tainting her, making her feel dirty.

"What will you do now?" she made herself ask. She didn't feel like talking to him but she reckoned that it would be to her advantage if she could manage to get inside this killer's head.

Not that it would be easy, considering that he was almost as smart as her.

B turned around. He'd been working with a hunchback (the posture looked ridiculous on him since it was so blatant that he was trying to imitate someone else) and she narrowed her eyes to make out what it was. It looked like a bunch from wires from her and her first guess was that he was making a sort of trap.

She desperately wished that she could warn L about this.

"Wait for him, obviously," said B with a casual shrug. "Twenty-four hours will pass with the blink of an eye, and we'll finally see if L is really as smart as people claim him to him." He titled his head to the left side and smiled. "Unless you have an interesting suggestion on how to pass time..."

Raito turned white at that but she said nothing.

_Maybe he'll get the hint and leave me alone._

But to her horror, he was coming towards her now, hands in his pocket and then he bent down to look her in the eye. She tried to put up a brave front but couldn't stop herself from flinching when he traced a finger across her collarbone.

"Oh, come on," he pleaded gently. "What's the matter with you? I'll make it good for you, you know."

Somehow, Raito was not convinced and she turned away when he moved his face closer to kiss her. Her heartbeat fastened with alarm when she felt his breath on her skin.

She didn't need to look at him to know that he was gritting his teeth in frustration and she gasped when he struck her sharply across the face, then storming off, muttering something under his breath about never being _good enough._

Despite the ensuing headache, Raito smiled to herself.

* * *

It was raining again.

L kept looking at the dish of sweets beside him as he worked furiously, telling himself that he needed the sugar as brain food, but time was a crucial factor and he wouldn't have any to spare. His priority was to find Raito, have her back safe in his arms, and then destroy B, if it was the last thing he did.

He wasn't tired; how could he be when he was used to working for hours straight. In the last five hours, he'd watched the video several times, searching for any clues that he might have missed. He was trying to keep his cool; if he was hot-headed, he'd definitely make a mistake.

Right now, he was singling out the sound of the video, as well as B's voice, to There had to be some background noise, something that would betray their location.

He found his answer soon enough.

It was a faint noise, he'd almost missed it but when he replayed it a couple of times, he knew what it was.

The sound of a train.

Immediately, L picked up his cell phone and speed-dialed Watari's number. The old man answered at the first ring.

"I know where they are," said L.

A/N: Sorry it took me this long to update. I've been facing a writer's block. There's just one or two more chapters to go before I draw to a conclusion. And after that, I want to start a Raito/girl!L long fic. Writing the next chapter will be a tough one but I'll try to do my best. Hope you enjoyed reading and please comment :).


	19. Chapter 19

Raito's throat was parched from thirst. Even though she could hear the pitter-patter of the falling rain on the high window pane, the dingy room felt warm and stuffy. Damp tendrils of brown hair clung to her sweaty skin and made her feel uneasy. She'd lost track of time, unable to know much of when the sun rose or set; her time was spent sleeping restlessly, watching B anxiously and wondering what the hell L was up to.

He was going to rescue her...right?

As she shifted to get more comfortable in her crooked wooden prison, Raito looked at B, who had a creepy smile on his face as he put the final touches on whatever he was working on. Thank God he hadn't attempted to touch her ever since the first day but she didn't need to look at the mirror to know that her cheek had a bruise.

B might look skinny but he had a lot of strength.

Kind of like L.

Oh, L...

She thought of the last night that they had spent together in the privacy of her room, enjoying each other's company and well, each other. At that time she hadn't wanted to think about what their relationship was becoming but now that she was away from all distractions (she had to smile at her choice of words), she realized that –

"What are you thinking?"

B's voice was sharp, not like L's natural baritone and Raito wondered, _Is this what he sounds like when he's being himself?_

She looked into his prying eyes, startled to find them sheened in red.

Was that from the setting sun outside?

"N-nothing," she stuttered, surprised that the madman had chosen to address her now. He eyed her suspiciously but said nothing.

What was he working on? Instinct told her that it must be some kind of trap to lure L into when he finally found her, and then, claim Raito as his own.

The thought of it made her sick to her stomach, even though she hadn't eaten in a while.

B put his hands in his pocket and slouched. "If your hero is as smart as they say," he said. "It shouldn't take him this long."

Raito looked at him. She wasn't sure what to say to that. "It hasn't been that long," she countered him carefully. "Just a few hours."

He nodded. "That's true." He took a few steps away from his project and tilted his head back to look at the high window. When she turned her head, she could see the sheen of raindrops against the glass and it reminded her of the first night she and L had shared together.

That seemed a lifetime ago now.

"I saw you first, you know," B suddenly offered.

When she whipped her head in surprise, he was nibbling on his index finger and leering at her like an adolescent boy fawning over a dirty magazine.

(Maybe B had always been the kind of person to be into such magazines, not L.)

"What?" she narrowed her eyes.

"I saw you first."

She certainly knew that. But for B to bring this up on his own...

"At the subway station," she found herself saying and then he smiled at her.

"So you figured it out." He nodded in approval. "You are smart as your are beautiful."

Raito rolled her eyes. This B guy obviously had no idea how to charm women.

Not that she _wanted_ to be charmed by him.

Raito gathered all her courage and met the lunatic's gaze boldly. "What do you have against L?" she wanted to know.

He seemed taken aback by the question – his surprised took _her_ aback, for she was unnerved to see the resemblance – but when he narrowed his eyes, she felt more comfortable.

This man wasn't L. Because L never narrowed his eyes. L would stare at you through dinner-plate orbs, making you squirm in your seat.

"He took away everything that I worked hard for," replied B under his breath.

She wanted to ask him what he meant by that. But without her requesting, he went on, as though he enjoyed being in the limelight.

"I wanted to be the best," said B, "I was chosen as L's heir but he always found a way to beat me. He always took away what I had first." He gazed at her. "I saw you first and but he ended up getting you."

Raito wanted to object by saying that she wasn't a possession to be passed around like a cup of wine. She'd already deduced by now that B was a psychopath and he had a huge competition with L – a competition L hardly cared about, but was everything to B. B was obsessed with L and everything L had.

"If L doesn't find me," she swallowed, finding the words difficult to utter. "What do you plan to do?"

The lunatic's lips curved into a devious smile. "Why, that's very simple," he responded. "I get to keep what's mine."

So he wasn't going to kill her. He was going to keep her as some sort of…kept woman, a trophy won in a formidable battle of wits. She didn't know which one was worse. Being one of B's victims or being his lover.

The sun was perhaps setting. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen the open sky, or what it looked like. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a breath of fresh air. All she could do was hope that L got here before his time was up.

"What do you see in L?" B pressed his thumb against his lower lip. "What is it about him that draws you?"

What a ridiculous question to ask.

_Well, first of all, _she wanted to say to B's face, _He isn't a wannabe like you. He doesn't pretend to be someone he's not. It's true he's selfish and ruthless but he's also kind and caring and he would never hurt me like this._

(But which was worse? Being left helpless by a husband or being trapped in a warehouse by a crazy serial killer?)

B was still looking at her, expecting an answer. Raito opened her mouth but she didn't know what she could tell him without sounding rude. As far as she was concerned, her life depended on how she was able to deal with B but she didn't think that she could manage a civil utterance towards him.

It was then that both of them heard the sound of a car pulling up in the front yard, doors opening and closing and hurried footsteps on the ground.

Frowning, B quickly looked out one of the slightly higher windows. "Shit," he cursed, and Raito craned her neck to get a view of what was going on outside. Was it L? Had he finally come to rescue her?

"What's going on?" she demanded but he ignored her question. She got her answer soon enough when a siren sounded and a voice said, low, threatening, "Beyond Birthday, we have you cornered. Come out with your hands up."

_Beyond Birthday? What the hell kind of name is that?_

"Bastards," B cursed again and Raito wondered if the only thing he was good at was cursing. But inside, she felt a ray of hope as soon as she heard the loudspeaker. L had come to save her. He hadn't forgotten about her.

She could almost imagine him looking hurt and saying with a pout, _Is that how low you think of me?_

_I'm sorry, L. I should never have doubted you._

But she was shaken roughly out of her thoughts by B, who'd grabbed her arm with one hand, and untying the ropes around her with another. "Come on," he demanded gruffly.

Her eyes widened with anxiety. "Where are you taking me?" she hated sounding like one of those helpless women victims in the movies but she didn't see any other way that she could play it. But then, she spotted a sharp knife in his hand and for a moment, she felt insulted. What kind of criminal mastermind was this man that he was losing his cool at such a crucial moment? He was nothing but a joke. He was not the world's best detective, nor was he the worst criminal. He was just a joke.

B held her arm in an iron grip and dragged her to the entrance – well, he didn't as much drag her as she was eager to see the light. She was desperate, wanting only to see L…

He was right outside, in his usual clothes, wearing sneakers and a bulletproof vest and she felt a rush of relief in her veins. Their eyes met and she saw the relief reflected on his face and she was about to smile when B harshly pulled her against him and held a knife to her throat.

She gasped.

B and L stared each other down like two antagonists in a Western movie and she felt B sneer against her hair.

"Well, well," he spoke quietly but his words were loud and clear in the front yard. "Look who's finally decided to show up."

There was Roger and there were some men in a thick black uniform but Raito had a feeling that they weren't the police. L would never have called the police in his personal business.

Where was Watari?

"Let her go, B," said L, and there was a look in his eyes that let you know that you did not want to mess with him now.

_He would never let anyone harm the ones he loved._

B merely laughed and Raito winced at the cacophonous sound. "Is that the best you can do?" he taunted, gesturing his sharp knife at the black squad, who'd kept their guns aimed at him, but he didn't seem the slightest bit nervous. "I really did think that you were competent enough to handle the situation on your own, L. Or is this how you solve all your cases? You let the police do your dirty work and then you take credit?"

L's eyes hardened by he didn't reply to the insult. Instead, he said, "Try being reasonable, B. You have no business with her. It's me that you want."

At this, the psychopath laughed sharply. "I have no business with her?" he retorted incredulously. "It shows how little you know about the things that go on around you." He pulled Raito closer to him, filling her with aversion. "You see, I was the one who saw her first that day."

"So that's what this is about," it was L's turn to throw him a mocking style. "This isn't about beating me or wanting to become better than me. This is about a _woman_."

Raito frowned. What the hell was L trying to do?

A vein twitched on B's face. (Ah, so L was trying to make him angry...and perhaps screw up the situation even more.)

"It's more than you think," protested B, clenching his teeth and pressing the blade so close to her throat that she thought he would slit it. "She wasn't yours for the taking, L. I saw her first."

At another time, Raito would have felt a forbidden thrill at having two men fight over her. However, when she looked at the current situation from a detached point of view, she could help but think of how ludicrous it was, like a really bad action movie.

She found herself speaking the words before she could make herself stop, as though she had been cooking up a secret plan in her subconscious. "I can't believe this," she said.

Both B and L stared at her. "What?"

She paused briefly, thinking fast of what she could say, something to surprise B so much that he would loosen his hold on her and she could...knee him in the groin or something.

"I actually thought that you were smarter than L," she said (for a moment, L actually looked offended). "I thought you were the most brilliant criminal that I'd ever heard about because L was having so much trouble catching you. But now...I see that you're just pathetic...fighting over a woman like this." And for good measure, she bravely added another insult. "You're just as pathetic as him," she nudged her chin towards L.

That did it.

B was utterly surprised. He took a step back, apparently stumbling and then the rest were just a serial flash of images that Raito saw like a dream.

His hand moved, coming towards her. A gunshot sounded in the air and he gasped, eyes slamming open at her with shock. She gaped back at him and it was her turn to gasp as he fell on the concrete ground with a loud thump, the clatter of his knife skidding a few feet away from her on the surface.

It was a blur for her; she wasn't sure what happened after that but the next thing she knew was that she'd staggered into L's thin arms and she was trembling and he was holding her like he wouldn't let her go for the world. She spotted Watari with his glasses and a rifle near the warehouse, smoke still drifting out of the barrel.

She was too numb.

But then, L pulled her closer, wrapping his arms tighter and as Raito looked into his eyes, she saw the desperate, anxious relief that was undisguised in those black windows of his soul, and she allowed herself to lean against him; letting him make her warm again.

* * *

It was night when L tiptoed out of his study in Wammy's House and quietly shut the door behind him. Everyone was asleep after the exhausting evening. Watari and Roger had gone to bed earlier than usual, and Near and Mello and the other orphans were already tucked in by the time they'd come back.

His back was aching; he sure could do with a massage right now but it wasn't possible to give yourself a massage on the back. So for now, he would have to ignore the dull pain and walk softly to Raito's room.

The Winchester police had been notified about B's demise two hours ago. L's men had cleared the warehouse vicinity as much as possible so as not to leave any trace of the detective's presence there. He had just gotten off the phone with the police chief, who had not sounded happy. L had shrugged at that. Normally, he would've left the actual capture of any criminal to the hands of the police, but the life of the woman he loved was in danger, there could be no place for complacency.

And speaking of the woman he loved, Raito and he had hardly exchanged any words after the capture, other than "Are you okay?" and "Yes, I'm fine." They had ridden in the same car back to the orphanage, driven by Watari, whose eyes L had meet a few times on the windshield. He knew that the retired scientist was inwardly amused by the fact that L refused to let go of Raito's hand. And the best part about that was, she did nothing to discourage him.

L was going to her room now. He needed to talk to her, hold her, comfort her, tell her how he felt and a whole bunch of other things that he'd have to figure out as time went by.

He finally reached Raito's door and knocked on the softly, urgently.

"Come in," her voice drifted out.

He went in. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, her short hair wet, fringe almost reaching her beautiful cinnamon eyes in a way that made him want to write poetry. She held a small hairbrush in one hand and she looked like she'd been thinking about something before he showed up.

Somehow, L did not like that look.

"Hey," he greeted her awkwardly.

"Hey," she nodded and smiled a little.

"You okay?" he took a few bold steps towards her.

"Yeah," she said. "I just talked with my dad."

"Oh?"

"Don't worry." Her smile widened. "I didn't tell him that I was kidnapped by a crazy genius from your childhood." There was a twinkle in her eye that warmed him up and he chuckled.

"Good to hear that," he said. "What did your father say?"

This time, Raito sobered up, her humor fading. She put the hairbrush away and motioned for him to sit opposite to her. This gave L a bad feeling again. Perhaps he was not going to like what she would tell him...

Or maybe he was just being his usual paranoid self.

Raito took a deep breath. "L," she said. "I told my father that I was going to go back to Tokyo soon."

L stared at her. "Oh," was all he could say at first. And then, "When? For how long?"

She paused, like a nurse going to give a patient some really bad news. "The day after tomorrow and...I can't say when I'm coming back."

There it was, the truth hanging before them like flayed skin and L's heart was starting to feel raw. "You mean that..." he started to say but she picked up her cue to explain.

"B's dead," she told him. "The case is solved and I need to have some time alone. I need to figure things out before I settle down for a commitment. I haven't completed my studies yet and I need to find my solid ground in life before – "

"Oh," said L coldly, realization sinking in like a wrecked ship. "I see. So you're looking for what you were looking for in the beginning?"

Raito looked at him sharply but said nothing.

_She had lived up to her end of the bargain. It was now his turn to do the same._

They were silent for a few minutes. L didn't utter a single word when in his mind, he was screaming, _You're doing this to punish me, aren't you? You want to take revenge for the way I walked out on you two years ago. You want to make me feel even more miserable and you have no fucking idea of how empty my heart's been all the time that we were apart. And I came here with so much hope to make it work with you but that's gone to hell now but I guess I can't blame you because I deserve it._

Aloud, he said nothing.

Raito seemed uncomfortable in the quietness. She shifted uneasily on the bed where they had made love just what – two nights ago? It seemed like a hundred years ago that they had lain together side by side as husband and wife, fifty years ago that he'd embraced her outside the warehouse and one year that she'd told him she wanted to return to Japan and leave everything else behind.

Was this how she'd felt when _he'd_ been the one to leave Tokyo two years earlier without so much as a note, a phone call, an e-mail? Come to think of, L mused, how stupid could he have been to imagine that a woman like her could forget two years, twenty-four month, one-hundred-and-four weeks of utter despair and frustration of being betrayed by the one man she'd given herself to with trust? L had been that man and he'd taken her love and flushed it down the toilet as though it was worthless. And now he was suffering the consequences.

"Okay," he said at least with a simple nod. "All right, I understand."

"Okay," she answered and they exchanged a brief, wary look before L got to his feet.

"I'll see you in the morning, Raito-kun," he said over his shoulder, making it sound like he just wanted to discuss her travel plans.

"No problem, Ryuuzaki," she shook her head. After a moment, "Goodnight."

He paused before he opened the door. "Goodnight," he said softly. He closed the door and went back to his own room. There was no need to turn on the lights. He simply lay on top of the covers and stared gravely up at the ceiling.

And then he did something he hadn't done in a long time.

He cried.

A/N: Well...you can't say that he didn't deserve it :p. He was a jerk to Raito and it's only just that he receive the same treatment. Sorry for being late to upload this but now, there's just one last chapter. Do forgive the typos and don't forget to review! ;)


	20. Chapter 20

Warning: Spoilers for L's name

The days to come, Raito was to find, were harder that she'd imagined they would be. She left Winchester two days after her rescue, sad to take her leave from the orphans that she had grown attached to in the past weeks. Near kept looking at her, making her uncomfortable but once she was in the limo, she realized how much she would miss the child's penetrating gaze.

L insisted on accompanying her to Heathrow Airport, as expected. He sat in heavy silence beside her, his toes curling on the edge of the soft seat and then he turned his eyes towards the side of her face.

"He hurt you, didn't he?" he asked softly, as though he didn't want Watari, who was driving, to hear. Even though there was a glass screen partitioning the back seats from the front seat, L didn't raise his voice as though he wanted this exchange to be particularly private.

She felt too self-conscious to hold his gaze for long. "It was nothing," she assured her soon-to-be-ex-husband but he kept staring at the fading bruise on her cheek.

"What are you going to tell your folks when they ask about it?" he wondered aloud.

She shrugged easily and gave him a little smile. "I'll just tell them I walked into a wall or something," she answered. "I can't tell them the truth, can I? My father would kill you."

"That's true," L's index finger found its way to his lips. "Though I imagine that your father wanted to kill me since the moment you announced I was your husband."

Despite her uneasiness, Raito laughed, and it was his turn to smile. It was so different from their first arrival here, when they were being vindictive and snippy with each other. She reckoned that just a month or two had passed but it felt like a lifetime; and she felt like a different person.

As soon they had arrived at the airport, L grabbed her bags and insisted on walking her to the terminal. She was half-afraid that the detective would hold her luggage hostage and implore her not to leave (and as much as she hated to admit it, there was a small part of her that actually wanted it). But he behaved himself and followed her like a loyal pet.

"Take care, Yagami-chan," Watari smiled at her warmly, shaking her hand. "It was a pleasure having you here."

His words sounded terribly formal and for an instant, the image of him as their witness in the notary office flashed in her mind's eye. "It was a pleasure being here," she answered, equally formal. "I wish I could've done some sightseeing in London."

"Perhaps you can the next time you come," said Watari with a knowing twinkle in his blue eyes. Raito didn't understand what that was about.

"I'll be back soon, Watari," said L with a straight face. They spent some time in the airport stores, window shopping. Raito wasn't really in the mood for this kind of thing but there was nothing else she could do to distract her mind. L kept walking beside her everywhere she went and some people gave her a funny look as though she were some rich, nasty woman, making this poor man carry her heavy bags.

"Is there anything Raito-kun would like?" asked L when he saw her looking at an expensive designer watch displayed on a store window.

She turned to look at him. "Not really," she shrugged. "Designer products are expensive anyway and they'd be even more expensive in an airport store."

"I can afford it," his lips twitched in smile, gentle humor in his onyx eyes.

She regarded him with shock. "Ryuuzaki, I didn't mean –" she stammered. "I don't really want it and I couldn't possibly –"

"You know, Raito-kun, Chinese merchants would notice that if a customer's pupils grew large when they were looking at something, it meant that customer liked it," L said in his matter-of-fact way. "And I noticed that your eyes became black holes when you were looking at that watch."

At first, Raito-kun was speechless, then she was annoyed and then she was embarrassed. "Ryuuzaki," she attempted to reason with him again, lowering her voice, "I can't ask this from you when we're soon to be –" she stopped herself from saying _divorced_ because it sounded too cold, too harsh.

L, on the other hand, did not seem hurt or unnerved at all (but he'd always been good at hiding his emotions). "Raito-kun worries too much," he observed. "You don't have to think about that now, of all times. We haven't filed yet."

_But we will._

"Please allow me to buy this for you," he pointed at the watch, staring at her with those wide eyes. "You can think of it as a going-away present."

She wanted to protest. She wanted to say, _Please don't buy me anything to remember you by because I'm trying so hard to get over you_. But she watched in silence as he spoke to the salesgirl, handing over his credit card. Raito mused with some humor that if she remained his wife, then she could have all the fancy things she wanted.

_But those weren't the things that she cared for._

The salesgirl was about to put the watch in a box when L shook his head. "No," he said, "we won't be needing the box now." When they stepped out of her store, he turned to Raito. "I'd like you to put this on," he looked down at her, holding out the watch. "You'll need it when you're traveling."

She looked at the watch, feeling the heat rise up to her cheeks. She hesitantly took the watch and clasped it quickly around her wrist. The watch was silver with ivy patterns engraved on the border and it looked very lovely.

"Hmm," L nodded his approval. "It looks very elegant on Raito-kun's wrist."

She should've smiled but her facial muscles felt frozen. "Thank you, Ryuuzaki," she mumbled. They walked a little slower this time, her head hanging down a bit because she felt so self-aware. The metal felt cool and foreign against her skin and with a pang, she recalled that she would have to dispose of her wedding ring when she got back home.

As if reading her mind, he questioned, "Do you still have the wedding ring?"

His bluntness took her aback. (Trust L to never handle sensitive issues diplomatically.) "Uh...yes," she answered, glancing at her shoes.

"Did you ever wear it?"

She looked at him briefly. "No," she answered at last. "There...there'd have been too many questions to answer." She paused. "What about you?"

It was a moment before L responded. "Sometimes. When I worked by myself at night, I'd slip on the ring to make myself think that I wasn't alone."

It was needless to say that the confession shocked her and she gaped at him for a few seconds. "Why are you telling me this now?" she demanded irritably.

L was the one to shrug this time. "I thought it would be a good idea to clear everything between us in the last stages," he spoke bitterly.

_And how would talking about our wedding rings, when we are going to get divorced, make this any better?_

"What sterling logic you have," she said under her breath, looking away. To her astonishment, he smiled suddenly and then, it was gone.

"Would it have made any difference," he inquired, "if I told you this before?"

She felt afraid to hear what he had to say next and so, she held her breath while he waited for her reply.

"I don't know," she mumbled, answering truthfully. "I don't know because you've always been a closed book."

He kept looking at her expectantly. "It doesn't have to be that way, Raito-kun," he said softly. And then he asked, "Do you want me to file?"

He didn't finish the sentence as though he couldn't bear to. She nodded. There was a lump in her throat when their eyes met and she opened her mouth to say something when the airport speaker sounded, breaking the spell.

"_All passengers on board for flight 122 London to Tokyo, please head to Gate 5 for boarding. Thank you._"

She glanced at the TV screen showing all the flight information and then turned back to the detective, making her decision:

"I have to go now, L."

If this saddened him, he did not show it. He just stilled for a split second before he nodded understandingly. "All right," he said. They walked to the gate and checked in all her baggage. Before she went through the gate, she stopped and looked at him again.

"Thank you for everything, Ryuuzaki," she said awkwardly.

"Of course," said L. "It was no trouble at all. It was a pleasure working with Raito-kun and I hope she and I can still be friends when some considerable amount of time has passed."

It was an odd suggestion. She nodded and forced herself to smile. "Sure."

Heavy silence.

"Take care, L," she said, holding out her hand to him. It was weird to offer this professional courtesy to a man that you'd been married to for two years but there was no other farewell gesture that came to her mind.

L glanced at her outstretched hand before grasping it firmly. "You, too, Raito."

It was weird to hear him say her name without the honorific. It was even more shocking when she looked down at his hand holding hers, the unmistakable wedding ring on his finger.

She turned pale but quickly recovered. Something in her went numb. "Goodbye," she said, taking a slow step away from him, heading towards the gate.

"Goodbye, Yagami-kun," L nodded again.

She walked towards the terminal, letting the other passengers go in first, keeping her back to L, wondering why she was hesitating so much. When she glanced back, L was still standing there, watching her with his hands in his pockets. Saying nothing, she looked at the gate again, slowly moving along with the other passengers. The next time she turned her head, he was gone.

Raito felt as empty as a teacup when she got up on the plane and took her seat. She forgot that she should be nervous about the journey. She forgot that her heart should leap into her throat when the plane took off. The whole world was silent to her as realization slowly sunk in about all the things she was letting go off with this final journey.

She felt irritated and unimpressed at first; this was the main reason she'd come to England – to clear up the past and start a new life without old burdens. She'd made mistakes and she had learned from them; the experience had left her determined never to make those same mistakes again.

And at the same time, against her will, Raito's heart was breaking, shattering to a thousand glass pieces, the minute shards scattering all over the place while she watched helplessly, unable to stop it. She kept thinking of L, how quiet and grave he'd seemed at the airport. She remembered the two nights that they'd shared, making love until they were both exhausted, a time when it seemed like nothing else mattered, when they forgot that they had to keep a distance between themselves. It felt like years ago, still because so much had happened and she was a different person now.

Different person or not, what remained the same was that she loved L, had always loved him and she had just been in denial all the time because her pride would never allow her to admit such weakness.

She pressed her face flat against the window, took a few deep breaths and started to cry.

* * *

The orphans at Wammy's House often asked Watari and Roger what happened to Miss Raito. She was here for such a short time and she left all of a sudden. Where had she gone? The younger children wondered if she didn't like them anymore. Had they done something to make her mad?

L's heart broke when he heard all these inquiries. There was no way to tell such young minds that even though he was the world's best detective (they admired him like anything), he had messed up in his personal life and lost what valued the most.

_Raito isn't a_ what. _She's a_ who.

_Further proof that you don't deserve her._

Watari and Roger hadn't said anything to him about Raito. They knew their place, that they should not interfere in his private affairs. Who he married and who he did not want to divorce was entirely his business and why should anyone else care if he was miserable because he couldn't be with the woman he loved?

Right now, he was standing near the full-length window downstairs, shuffling his feet on the bare floor, the sweeping sound oddly comforting. The children were playing tag during recess. It was exam week in Wammy's House and naturally, they were busy studying most of the time, so they wanted to make good use of any recess that they could get.

This was the new habit he'd developed, pathetically. He would stand at this window, instead of brooding in his dark study, and stare out into the horizon as though he nurtured a secret hope that Raito would one day return to his arms. He looked at the children, the workers, thought of his large estate. He would have offered all this to Raito in a heartbeat if she'd agreed to share her life with him. Now, it was quite likely that he would grow old and die alone.

It had been a week and he should've filed for a divorce by now, sent her the papers so that she could sign them and move on with her life, but lethargy dragged him down, not to mention procrastination.

_Shouldn't you be headed to court today?_ his conscience asked him but he ignored it. It would be horrible if he kept Raito hanging for another two years because now that she knew where he lived, he had no doubt that she would show up at his door and castrate him.

A shadow fell beside him and he looked down in surprise to find Near standing beside him, silent, reticent, twirling a lock of white blond hair around his index finger.

"Hello," he said, surprised to find the young boy here, even though he hardly expected the other to be playing outside.

Near made no reply but the fact that he was still here let L know that he'd heard him. L had always felt weird talking to Near because he reminded him so much of himself but it seemed that he was trapped now.

The two geniuses looked outside the window at the same sight, as though they were thinking of the same thing. On some level, they probably were.

Near spoke up then, breaking the silence. "She was more than a friend, wasn't she?"

L didn't bother being surprised. This fifteen-year-old was as smart as he was.

"I could tell from the tension between you two and the way you kept looking at her," Near said, as though his previous proclamation merited an explanation.

The older man sighed. He didn't think that it would've been so obvious. Then again, he'd probably been to busy gazing at Raito to _think_. Then he looked at the boy and smiled lopsidedly. "You should be concentrating on your studies instead of observing other people, Near," he chided, almost gently.

Near wasn't amused. "Observing others is a part of my studies," he returned. "And judging from how distant you and Miss Raito were at the end of her stay, I would say that she was angry with you because you had done something to hurt her deeply, and it was your turn to be angry because you thought that she just wanted to take revenge."

L couldn't have said it better himself.

When the raven-haired man didn't say anything, Near continued. "And judging from the way you keep staring out of the window, it's only obvious that you long for her to come back and give you a chance to make things right."

L frowned: he didn't like being psychoanalysed. "The amount of thought that you've put into my personal affairs is disturbing," he remarked, earning a sudden, brief smile from Near. L couldn't help smiling back.

"So why don't you go to Japan and talk to her?" asked Near, getting back to business.

L sighed again. "I don't think she'd welcome it," he responded truthfully. "To put it crudely, I screwed up big time."

Near gave a small, knowing smile. "_To err is human_," he quoted wisely. "In my opinion, you shouldn't give up so easily."

"If I were to show up at her door, she would immediately ask me why she hadn't received the divorce papers yet," said L darkly as he remembered that slap she'd given him. His cheek had stung for hours.

"You're simply giving that excuse because you don't want to put yourself in a compromising position," Near pointed out.

L paused, thinking it over. "You're right," he admitted. "I don't want to put myself in a position that would make me vulnerable."

"But isn't it true that you cannot gain anything unless you give something up?" Near reasoned, deep in thought, finger still twirling a strand of hair. "As the saying goes, no pain, no gain."

"You've been reading too many proverbs," grumbled L, feeling a little silly.

"Every bit if wisdom that one can collect counts in Wammy's House," said Near sagely. He thought for a moment. "It must easier to risk your life and catch dangerous criminals than to wear your heart on your sleeve for someone you love."

"Yes," L admitted sadly. "It is."

"Hmm. Ironic, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"The world's greatest detective afraid to tell the woman he loves how he feels because he has no wish to be humiliated."

"Someday, when you fall in love, Near, you'll understand."

"Perhaps I will. Until then, you should set a good example for me, shouldn't you, L?" The boy smiled again.

L looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that maybe you should go after her," Near explained with strained patience. "Just like in the romantic movies."

"You want me to fly to Tokyo and win her back?" L sounded incredulous.

Near shrugged. "You might not win her back but at least, you could try."

L pondered over this. Why hadn't he thought of this before? It didn't sound like a bad idea at all.

"I could do that," he mused aloud.

"Good," Near said approvingly. "Now get going. Male bonding creeps me out."

* * *

Raito remembered clearly that her father had told her that she was not to go back until she was securely married or properly divorced. She wasn't either of those things at the moment but she had it in good faith that L would come to Japan soon and annul the marriage, or send her the papers from England, as he had hinted.

Thankfully Mr Yagami had not brought up the topic; he hadn't needed to when she told him in her parents' room that the marriage was, without doubt, coming to an end soon. She told them a lot of things about the case, wisely leaving out the parts where she'd slept with her husband and been kidnapped by the psychopathic serial killer.

Her family was happy to see her. They said that Misa had called on time a couple of times when she'd been away and just three days ago, the young model and dropped by with a tall, dark and handsome lawyer to give them a wedding invitation.

The information made Raito smile, despite the sorrow she was carrying her own heart. After her parents retired to sleep and Sayu was downstairs, watching another Ryuuga Hideki film, she went to her own room and dialed Misa's number. She tried a few times but there was no answer. Her friend was probably out shopping for the wedding with her fiancé, Raito just left a message on the answering machine.

"Hey, Misa, this is Raito. I just got back from England and I heard about your news. Congratulations and I'm so happy for you! Call me back when you get this."

Misa didn't call her back. For her, that would've been too distant. Instead, the following morning, the blonde came bouncing on Raito's doorstep, grinning from ear to ear.

"Raito!" she chirped happily. "You're back." She gave the dark-haired girl a tight hug.

Raito laughed. It was nice to have a warm welcome from one's best friend.

"So how was England?" asked Misa as soon as they were seated in the living-room and Mrs Yagami had brought them some pudding and tea. "Did you solve the case? Did you have fun?"

The brunette laughed again. "Well, we did solve the case and there was no time to have fun – we were too busy." She shrugged. "Though I wish I'd had a chance to see London better."

Misa nodded, as though she were expecting some more news from Raito, which the latter pretended not to notice.

"And congratulations about the wedding," she smiled, patting Misa on the hand. "It's about time. You must be shopping a lot."

"Oh, yeah," Misa rolled her eyes dramatically at the ceiling, flopping back against the embroidered cushions. "Being a bride isn't as easy as I thought it'd be! So many invitations to send, presents to buy – and I haven't even chosen my wedding dress yet!"

"Oh?" Raito raised an eyebrow at this. She'd always secretly assumed Misa knew what dress she would wear, who she would invite, where the ceremony would be held, ever since she was thirteen, and Teru had been the last piece of the puzzle.

"Yeah."

"How does Mikami feel about this?"

"He's as cool as a cucumber. He's already bought his tuxedo and he doesn't really care about the other formalities and stuff. He said that for all he cared, we could just elope and no one would have to make a big deal out of it."

Ah, trust Teru Mikami, upcoming hotshot prosecutor, to be the pragmatic lover.

"That sounds like something he would say," agreed Raito with a nod.

"Mm-hmm," said Misa. Then she looked at Raito. "So tell me, what happened between you and that L guy?"

Raito pretended not to understand. "What do you mean?" she wondered aloud.

But Misa would not be fooled. Once something got into her head, there was no way of getting it out. "Come on, you know what I'm talking about," she said persuasively. "You and L, you know? Did sparks fly when you were alone? Are you getting back together?"

Raito took a deep breath; this question was very hard for her to answer. "No, he and I are splitting up for good this time. Just like we planned."

Misa's mouth dropped open in shock, irking Raito. Really, what was that girl acting surprised about? She knew that this was going to happen.

"B-but I thought that –" started Misa.

Raito sighed. "It didn't work out. Guess it's not meant to be."

"Oh." Misa's face fell and she was quiet for a few minutes. "I don't really know what to say..."

"Don't worry about," Raito dismissed the matter with a wave of her hand. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Misa didn't look convinced but thankfully, she didn't press the matter. However, when she looked at Raito's hand, she narrowed her eyes.

"Where did you get that pretty watch?" she pointed at the silver ivy-printed band on the other's wrist.

Raito looked at the watch, keeping her expression calm. "It was just a parting gift from L," she answered, "it's nothing."

"Hmm," said Misa. "Then why are you still wearing it?"

Good question.

Suffice it to say that Raito must have left her IQ back in England because she couldn't think of any smooth lies to tell her friend. Still, she wondered the same thing. If it was over between her and L and even if he'd given her a parting gift, why should she keep on wearing it? It would simply serve as a constant reminder of her former flame and it had been her decision to end things.

Because deep down inside, she had a feeling that L wanted to patch things up.

_Well, it's too late for that!_ she thought stubbornly. _What's done is not; now is not the time to think_.

"It's pretty," she said casually to Misa. "And it was very expensive."

This naturally confused Misa because she had never known Raito to be superficial, but she didn't say anything.

Raito wasn't sure what was wrong with her these days but she'd feel lethargic. She'd already gone to university and done her advising for the next term. She had about two more years to go but she felt tired all of a sudden, as though she didn't have the strength to go on.

Sayu came to her room one night to get some help with the holiday math homework. Raito sat at the desk, all prepared to help out, but she kept getting distracted and chewing the end of her pen as though she had developed a sudden oral fixation.

"Nee?" Sayu asked, concerned. "What's wrong? Can't you do the problem?" She was very surprised because she was used to Raito doing sums like lightning where she had to struggle to understand the questions in the first place. Math was not her strong area; she was better at languages.

"What?" said Raito, coming out of her daze. "No way." She scribbled down a few steps of the math problem, solving it. "There you go." She smiled.

"Uh, I don't think that's the correct answer," Sayu frowned at the value her older sister had produced.

Raito frowned back and returned to the notebook. "It's not?" she echoed, feeling very stupid of a sudden.

"No, it's – never meant," Sayu sighed and shook her head. "Is something bothering you?"

Raito wanted to scream. She'd always been so good at masking her emotions, why was her barrier breaking down like this? For two years, she'd kept her marital problems a secret from her family. Now, after that stupid trip to England, which was supposed to simplify things, had made her life only more complicated and she had people asking right and left if she was okay.

"Is that guy isn't it?" Sayu pressed before Raito could respond.

And before Raito could stop herself, she snapped, "Why does everyone have to keep asking me about Ryuuzaki?"

Sayu didn't look cowed; she just rolled her eyes. "Well, it's pretty obvious that you're still thinking about him because you can't do a simple math problem."

"Neither can you!" Raito protested very immaturely.

"That's because I hate math," Sayu replied practically. "And you're really smart. So when you can do a math problem, it means that you have something really serious on your mind and that's the reason you can't concentrate." She paused for dramatic effect. "And it can't be anyone else because you don't date (though I now know why). It's L."

Raito didn't know what to say. She had been pawned by her seventeen-year-old sister and there was nothing she could do about it.

Except maybe throw her out of the room.

"Did you wear the red dress like I told you to?"

There was an unmistakable blush on Raito's face as she gawked at her little sister, L's words from that night ringing in her ears.

_Kindly inform your sister that the red dress does indeed work wonders._

"What the hell is the matter with you?" she demanded irritably and Sayu just giggled, quickly gathering her stuff.

"Oh, just admit it, Nee," Sayu said cheekily. "Why don't you tell Ryuuzaki that you want to get back together with him?"

Luckily Sayu already shut the door on her way out when Raito threw a pen at her.

* * *

It was a good idea, though, thought Raito when she was in the shower a few days later. It was feasible if she could swallow her pride and tell L that maybe she'd acted too hastily and maybe...they could give their marriage another shot.

But it had been two weeks by now that the most prominent emotion that she was feeling was annoyance. There was again no sign of L, no delivery of divorce papers, which made her wonder if he planned to keep her hanging for another two years.

This time, if he did that, she would not be so forgiving.

Her classes were going to start soon and her education was the most important thing on her mind right now (since her marriage was apparently gone). Her father was telling her that he would buy her a car so that she wouldn't need to commute anymore. It made her smile that her father was somehow trying to make her feel better. Perhaps he had an inkling about how his daughter felt.

"Don't worry so much about the past, Raito," Mr Yagami had told her one evening when she was taking a little walk in the front yard.

She'd looked at him, surprised. "Huh?"

"You'll meet better men."

_I hope so,_ she rolled her eyes as she toweled her hair dry in her bedroom. Maybe she would meet other men but there was fat chance that any of them would be as intelligent and interesting as Ryuuzaki, along with sharing his quirky habits. However, if she couldn't have Ryuuzaki, she needed to move on. _Maybe I'll go out with Matsuda when the divorce is final._

_I can't believe I just thought that._

And speaking of divorce papers, where were they?

What the heck had happened to L? Had he died or something? Somehow, being left a widow did not feel palatable to Raito. Then again, being divorced at twenty was no better, either. She had been thinking once, on a lonely midnight, about the first time she'd slept with her husband (and the next time). She had taken an emergency pill to prevent a pregnancy because having L's baby when she wanted a divorce was not the smartest thing to do.

She had undoubtedly felt relieved when her period came, but also a little...disappointed? She lay a hand on her stomach, lightly stroking it, surprising herself that she wouldn't mind at all being pregnant with L's child.

_Now is not the time to have such wishy-washy thoughts._

Her parents were out grocery shopping and Sayu had gone to a friend's house. Raito was alone, bored and so, she decided to check her e-mail, even though she wasn't expecting any. (L was supposed to send something by post, not online.)

She signed into MSN messenger and was surprised to find a message waiting for her. Curiously, she clicked on it.

It was from L.

Reminiscent of the most recent time she'd received an e-mail from him, Raito clicked on the message.

_Raito-kun,  
I've changed my mind. I don't want a divorce._

She stared at it incredulously for a long time; she couldn't believe her eyes. She read the e-mail several times to make sure that she hadn't misunderstood him. And then she hit the reply button and quickly typed: _Don't you think you should say that to me in person, L?_

She sent it. A minute later, another e-mail showed up in her inbox. It read:

_Of course I do. That's why I'm standing outside your front door._

And then, the door bell rang, making her heart jump in her chest.

Raito had never felt more nervous about anything as she rushed down the stairs. She kept thinking about what L had said it the e-mails and it was too good to be true. And a part of her brain almost instantly shut down when she opened the door and found L standing outside with his cellphone in his hand, just like he'd said.

Her heart nearly stopped breathing at the sight of him – she'd thought that she'd never see him again.

They stared at each other for a minute, each taking in the other's appearance. It was like time had stood still and everything was just waiting for one of them to make a move.

And L spoke, breaking the silence. "At least you haven't slapped me this time," he remarked, his black eyes shining with adoring humor.

Raito smiled at him as she reached out and pulled him into a fiery kiss. What a wonderful way to say hello.

L kissed her back, snaking his arms around her waist as she returned his embrace, running her fingers through his ebony hair, all over his face as though she were trying to ascertain that it was him. He kissed her harder to let her know that yes, it was him.

She wasn't sure what happened next. Perhaps she'd been too intoxicated from the feel of his arms around her, his lips on hers as they stumbled up the stairs, reluctant to let go of each other. It was like they were both drowning all this time and they finally had found a lifeboat.

The _thump_ of them falling on her bed brought her back to her senses, making her giddy, but in a good way.

"Ryuuzaki," she whispered, kissing him one more time before pushing him away so that she could tilt her head back and look him in the eye. "_L_."

He rested his slender fingers against the base of her neck, and then on her cheek. "Raito-kun," he said hoarsely, swallowing. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I know I promised I'd send you the papers but...I couldn't do it."

"L –" she started, suddenly embarrassed by his emotional confessions, but he went on.

"I know I've been a real bastard," he said, caressing her hair. "I was such a fool to leave you behind like a coward back then."

"Yes, you were," Raito interjected, laughing.

He chuckled, admiring how she would never fail to point out his mistakes. "You're right to hate me," he admitted. "To be honest, I hate me now. But...if you'd only give me another chance, Raito...and let me make it up to you..."

"Ryuuzaki," she looked up at him with a dazzling smile, hushing him by pressing her finger on his lips. "It's okay. I forgive you." She paused. "Provided that you don't walk out on me again because of your commitment issues."

L chuckled again, warmly as he kissed her finger and claimed her lips again.

They were interrupted again a few minutes later when Mr Yagami came bursting into the room, crying, "Raito, is something the matter? The door was open and I heard voices and..." he trailed off when he saw his son-in-law lying on top of his daughter. "Oh..."

Raito flushed at being caught like this, even though she was very, very happy.. L, on the other hand, was as pale as ever.

"Good afternoon, Yagami-san," he greeted the older man unflinchingly, as though they were taking a promenade in the park.

"Ryuuzaki," Mr Yagami breathed, clearly shocked, "what are you doing here?"

"I am trying to reacquaint myself with your daughter," said L, and Raito bit her lip to keep herself from laughing.

"Dad – " she started to say but then her mother showed up.

"Oh, dear," Mrs Yagami stopped dead in her tracks. "Ryuuzaki?"

"None other, Mrs Yagami," said L normally. "I hope you've been well."

Unable to say anything, Mrs Yagami turned to her daughter for answers.

"I'll explain later, mom," Raito said, hinting for both of them to get out now.

"All right," her mother conceded. Mr Yagami kept staring at them. "Come on, darling," she put a hand on her husband's arm. "I think these two should have some time alone."

Mr Yagami was at first reluctant to leave but a minute later, he yielded. Mrs Yagami was the one to shut the door, conveniently pressing the lock on the door knob – and giving Raito a mischievous wink, which made her blush and laugh at the same time. And then she turned back to Ryuuzaki, drawing him in for another passionate kiss, slowly giving into the most natural desire that she felt for him, and he for her.

Hours later, they lay under the covers, spooning together, watching the sunset outside. It was a beautiful sight, the sky doused in shades of red, blue and purple, sunlight bleeding golden in between. L's arm was draped across Raito's waist possessively and she snuggled into his chest, sighing happily.

"So what made you change your mind?" she wanted to know, her voice slurring from tired satisfaction.

"Oh, you know. My heart." He smiled against her hair. "That and a certain white blond genius."

"Near?"

"Who else?"

"Hmm. You know, Sayu recommended that we get back together."

"Did she now?" L was surprised. "Maybe she wouldn't make a bad match for Near..."

At this, Raito burst out laughing. "Ryuuzaki, you can't be serious! Getting those two together would be a disaster."

"Well, I don't know," said L mysteriously. "The last time a Yagami got together with someone from Wammy's House, I heard they hit it off pretty well."

"You're such a dork," she scolded him affectionately, stroking his arm. "So what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do we do now? Where do we go from here? That sort of thing."

"Oh." L pondered over the subject. "First, we get new wedding rings. And well, since you're still a student, I guess I'd have to wait for you to finish your studies."

"And then?" she asked.

"And then you come to Winchester with me," he said. "You can be my partner. We'll solve cases and look over Wammy's House together. It'll be our thing."

"I see you've planned everything out," she craned her head back to look at him, mirth dancing in her eyes.

"More or less, yes," he agreed.

"And I don't get a say in this?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I suppose you get to choose what color curtains we should have in our bedroom." He looked so serious that she started laughing again. He smiled affectionately. "You know I always have to get my own way."

"Oh, it that so?" she mock-challenged him. "Well, I can't say that I _always_ mind it. But you're going to have some competition, mister."

"That's good. Ought to keep our marriage spiced up."

She took a deep breath, basking in the sunshine of happiness. "Ryuuzaki, there's something I have to tell you."

"You're pregnant," he deadpanned.

"I – what? No!" Raito made a face at him. "Although I wouldn't mind it," she added with a brief grin. "But I've always wanted to know something about you...it's something I thought was important."

He regarded her. "What's that?" he asked.

She paused. "Your name," she answered.

He gazed at her for the long moment and just when she thought that he wasn't going to reply, he said softly, "L Lawliet. That's my name."

Raito stared at him, saying the words with her mouth, tasting the foreign-sounded syllables as they echoed in her mind and her ears. "It's pretty," she commented.

L smiled again, kissing her.

For a long time, they didn't speak a word, content only to hold each other. Then Raito said, "It'll be dinner time soon. Mom might want me to help."

"Let's stay here a little longer," suggested L. "It's beautiful."

"All right."

And yes, it was beautiful. They were finally together, their deepest secrets confided in each other, their darkest moments left behind. At last, they were truly married and eager to start a life together, confident to face whatever challenge that might be thrown next in their path. Neither was afraid because as long as they had each other to trust and depend on, they could overcome any obstacle. They lay in each other's arms, feeling an inner glow that'd been missing for so long, watching the beautiful twilight outside, allowing themselves to forget the world for just a little while longer.

A/N: Woah. And there you have it - the final chapter.  
When I was typing out the last part, getting to the end, I felt happy and nervous at the same time. I started this fic for Nano and I got used it, having had it in my life for so long that I find it hard to believe now that it's finally complete! sort of tearing up here It's the first long piece of fiction that I've finished and I feel pretty happy about that.  
My thanks goes to everyone for reading and reviewing; it was a pleasure writing this fic and I really you enjoyed reading it :). You can be on the lookout for my next fic, called _The Perfect Enemy_, which is Raito/girl!L. It's going to be a little angstier than this one ;).  
Once again, thank you, everyone. Cheers!


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